The Good News Is...

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

The more I read the news or watch it on the Internet or on television, there’s one thing that keeps coming to my mind.

Where’s the good news?

In the past week alone, we’ve heard about probable election fraud in Iran and subsequent oppression of thousands of people, murders, rapes, fires set by arsonists, kidnappings and so much more.

Where is the good news?

It’s a sad but true fact that most news carriers would go broke if they only reported good news items. Consider the following lead in to your favorite news show:

“Absolutely nothing bad happened today in Capital City, today – film at eleven.”

Right.

Wouldn’t happen.

Why?

Because there’s just too much bad news to report.

So, here’s your challenge for today:

Pay close attention to your surroundings. Listen for something positive that happened. It could have happened in your workplace, in your neighborhood or even in your state or country.

Then, when you have the positive tidbit, pass it on.

That’s right – be a carrier of positive news today.

Maybe it’s true that bad news spreads faster than good news. Maybe it’s not. Let’s find out by using today’s challenge as an experiment. See if the good news you passed on comes back to you.

Thank you for taking today’s challenge. Thank you for being willing to pass on the good news as well as my words. I appreciate you.

And, thank you always for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Make 'em Smile (Part 2)

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Yesterday’s post was likely a difficult challenge for many.

It can be found here: http://bit.ly/HZg51

The challenge yesterday was to smile in the face of bad news.

Did you take the challenge? How did you feel? At the end of the day, did you find your mood a little lighter than on other days?

In today’s challenge, I’d like to take that one step further. It’s another small and simple challenge, but again, it may carry with it a degree of unexpected difficulty. But, if I know you, you’ll carry it off with a great attitude and succeed.

So, without further ado, here’s today’s challenge:

Make someone else smile. Really focus on this today, more than you did yesterday.

In yesterday’s post, I talked about many of the negative issues facing us. I don’t think I need to go over them again. Go to any news site and you can see for yourself what our country and world are facing. If your entire intake is news, you’re not likely to smile, and it may be difficult to make others smile, too.

Some may think that making others smile is a complex process. It really isn’t. Think of what makes you smile.

Do you smile when someone talks about your children and their accomplishments?

Do you smile when someone gives you a sincere compliment?

Do you smile when others smile and tell you to have a good day?

What makes you smile?

When you take a quick inventory of the triggers that bring your mouth muscles into that gleaming grin, transfer it. Use it on someone else.

Now, I want to ask you to be careful. Remember, these challenges are intended to be taken seriously but in sincerity, as well. Don’t give a fake compliment. Don’t patronize someone for the sake of the challenge.

Be real.

Be you.

Think of what makes you smile and then try it on someone you meet who you know really would benefit from an honest-to-goodness smile.

I know you can do it. People who take my service challenges are generally happy. No, I haven’t taken a survey, and I can’t prove it statistically. But I know this. Serving others has a profound effect on both the server and the one being served. Very often, it’s the one who serves who gains the most. They are happier because they know they’ve made a difference in someone’s life.

Happier equals smiling.

That’s how I know this challenge shouldn’t be difficult for you. You serve, therefore you are happy. You’re happy, therefore you smile. You smile; therefore, others will smile with you. Misery may love company, but so does joy.

Okay, you’ve read the challenge. Now, as soon as you have a moment, get up and go make someone smile. It doesn’t have to be the first person you encounter. You’ll know who it is. They’ll need your smile.

And you’ll give it to them.

And they’ll be happier because you made them smile.

Thank you for reading today’s post. I appreciate you more than you know.

Thank you also for sharing my words with others. I hope you forwarding, retweeting or passing this along makes someone else smile.

Always remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Make 'em Smile!

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Over the past year or so, we’ve had to endure bad (and sometimes worse) news.

We’ve seen the economy nosedive, taking jobs, homes and our retirement savings plans with it. Crime seems to always be above the fold, and the wars of the world sap our national energy and will.

We’ve also had a recent scare with a strain of flu never before seen. Regrettably, this has given some a feeling of superiority and they feel justified in spreading the fear of racism. Others have used the scare in unethical marketing practices. They seem to want to prosper on the fear they can create in others.

At times like this, it’s easy for any of us to feel down, if not downright depressed. Singly, there’s really not much we can do to reverse the negative trends we seem to have inherited. Collectively, however, there are things we can do to help each other through it.

One of the primary things we can do is to uplift one another. When someone is having a bad day, feeling the very natural doubts that come with overwhelmingly bad news, we can take on the responsibility to help them.

So, how can you help?

Your challenge today is likely one of the simplest I’ve ever posted.

Smile.

That’s it.

When you’re faced with a problem, smile.

When a coworker or fellow student or even your spouse brings you bad news…

Smile.

Smile when a frown or even tears are more appropriate. Smile when others want to bring you down with the latest headlines. Smile when your boss gives you more work. Smile when you get a bill in the mail.

Just…

Smile.

That’s all there is to it.

I’m well aware that though this is simple, it’s not exactly easy.

Our very natural, human reaction to bad news is to curse and shake our fists at the heavens.

But today – just for today, I’m asking you to smile. Even if you don’t feel like it.

How is this related to serving others?

Our attitudes and emotions can be very infectious. If you smile in the face of stress, tension and negativity, chances are, those around you will feel a little lighter. They may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you, your smiling today will have an effect on somebody.

And even if you can help just one person you with your smile, isn’t it worth the effort?

Thank you for taking time to come and read my blog today. I realize time is a precious commodity. Knowing you take time out of your day to come here, well, that makes me smile.

Thank you also for taking the time to pass the word. I appreciate knowing that you forward, repost, tweet, digg and stumble my words. I love the fact that you’re willing to share.

And, I’m especially grateful you remember that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Dreamkillers

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Have you ever noticed that some people seem to thrive on raining on parades? No matter how good an idea someone has, they’re the ones who feel it’s their obligation to “bring a dose of reality” and count off all the reasons why something can’t be done.

Like predators in the wild, they seem to be able to sniff out someone with a dream or a goal, and when their prey is most vulnerable, they go in for the kill. No earnest hope for success, big or small, escapes their notice or their death grip.

We all know predators like this.

They’re in the workplace. They’re in our schools. They may even be in our home.

What can we do about them?

That’s today’s challenge.

Today, find someone with a dream, an innovative idea or a goal. Help protect them from the dream killer.

Encourage them.

Cheer them on.

Tell them reasons why they can do something, even in the face of someone telling them why they cannot.

It doesn’t take much to help a dreamer, but your encouragement may have to be doled out in proportion to the discouragement they’re also receiving.

This is a simple challenge. It will be easy for you to do. How do I know?

Because you have dreams, too. You know what it feels like to be told it can’t be done. You understand the pressure, the heartache and the hopeless feeling of a broken dream.

So, go.

Tell them it can be done.

Tell them you believe in them.

And then, watch them do it.

Thank you for reading today’s challenge. Thank you for being willing to share it with others, especially the dreamers and believers you know.

And thank you for remembering that Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Mid Week Service Challenge

Welcome to Service - The Action Form of Love

It’s Wednesday. For many of us, it’s hump day, the middle of the week. We’ve put Monday and Tuesday behind us and have only Thursday and Friday before we can get away from our jobs and spend some quality time with family and friends.

We can look forward to the weekend with the assurance of having an enjoyable time with our loved ones, relax, and recharge our batteries for the next work week.
For others, however, the coming weekend means something entirely different.

For many, the weekend means two days of being alone, with nobody to socialize with. For them, it’s just two empty days full of wishes for friends and family to spend time with.

Can you imagine what that’s like?

I can.

Before I found my lovely wife, I was a real loner. The weekend for me meant taking the train downtown an sitting by myself in a huge booth at the coffee shop. I’d often bring a book to escape from my dull life and vicariously live through the characters of whichever novel I happened to be reading at the time.

Now, I’m the first to admit that sometimes, this sort of weekend would be a dream come true. We have responsibilities to family and faith on the weekends. We have to take care of the home, get the shopping done, and all else that goes into preparing for another week ahead.

But I think if we really took a good look at the weekend-in-café scenario, we’d have to admit that such a break from our responsibilities would get old after awhile. We might truly enjoy taking that break for one weekend, but to be honest, it would get old quickly if we did it week after week after week.

It would especially get boring and dull if our only option was to do that or stay home and stare at the walls or the computer monitor.

Loneliness is such a terrible feeling.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Find someone who has no close family or friends, get to know them, and invite them to do something with you this weekend.

You might invite them to lunch. You could ask them if they’d like to join you for worship services. You could even get several of you together and go bowling, golfing, or even a picnic in the park.

You’re creative. You know what you like to do. But, be sure and ask for their input, too. The idea here isn’t to force someone into a situation where they’d rather go home and be alone than to spend the day doing something you enjoy but they don’t.

Ask what sports they’re into, what types of movies they like. Try and get them to open up to you and follow their lead.

And, if you don’t have money to spend, there are lots of free or very inexpensive things you can do together.

You can invite them to your home for a Saturday brunch or a Sunday dinner. You can take a drive or ride a train or a walk along a river or beach.

Your options are limited only by your sense of creativity and your common interests.

And, who knows? Maybe you’ll both get along so well that you will want to spend more time with each other.

So, you know the challenge, now go and do.

I so appreciate your willingness to read today’s challenge and, even more so, your willingness to help someone feel wanted, needed, cared for and loved. We all know deep down inside that we would be miserable without a friend.

Go be a friend.

Please feel free to share this with someone else today. Feel free to Stumble it, Digg it, tweet it and post it on your Facebook or MySpace or other networking page. Share this with your Rabbi, your minister your coworker, your sister. Email it to your mom, to your best friend or to your brother.

You’re getting the word out, and people are starting to notice that Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Odd Man In

Welcome to Thursday.

I’ve been reading some of mama’s old journals, and one or two of them are from when I was a teenager in high school. Thinking back to that time of my life, I can’t believe how much angst I seemed to have. But, now that I have a daughter who is 15, I remember that those feelings of isolation, depression and alienation from the “cool kids” was a very real feeling to me.

Fortunately, I’ve been able to grow out of those feelings and I don’t care nearly as much about what people think of me. Don’t get me wrong, I still have feelings and I love to be included. I think we all feel a little slighted when we’re not included, but for most of us, I think, the feelings aren’t as intense as they might have been when we were teenagers.

Still, no matter how old I get, I still cringe when I see someone at any age being treated as an outsider by those who still think of themselves as the “cool kids”. I really feel for them. Unfortunately, there are some adults who don’t seem to have been able to grow out of the cliquish stage. It’s something we see a lot of, if we just open our eyes and look around.

We see co-workers passing out party invitations to everyone they like, but ignoring others. We see people backbiting and gossiping about the “strange one” behind their back. We see everyone in the group invited out to lunch, except for one or two that just don’t seem to fit in.

This blog post was formulated earlier today when I noticed my wife reach out and start a conversation with someone at work who the rest of us were ignoring. We didn’t know him, he was different from the rest of us, and, well… that’s about all the excuses I’ll offer. We didn’t include him.

But she did.

She asked how he was doing, how he liked his job. She gently and kindly drew him into our conversation without making him feel awkward about it.

For the record, I’ve seen her do this a lot, and she’s really good about it. She has a sensitivity, a radar, if you will, about finding the odd-person-out and including them.

So, here’s your challenge for today (it’s mine, too!):

Be inclusive.

When you see someone who doesn’t exactly fit in to your “crowd”, make your crowd flexible enough to fit the person.

It could be someone who ordinarily annoys you. They may dress differently. They may have a strange accent. They may smoke or talk loudly or… well… you get the idea, don’t you?

Be sensitive to their feelings. If you’re going to do something as a group, see if you can persuade the others in your group to let them come along. Find a reason to like the person, and be kind to them.

That’s all there is to it. It’s not easy. You’ll likely find yourself outside your comfort zone. But, you can do it. I know you can.

Thank you for reading today’s post. I really appreciate you including my blog into your busy day.

Thank you also for being willing to repost, forward, retweet or otherwise passing it on. Kindness begets kindness and it will come back to you in unexpected ways.

Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Dangerous Viruses

We fight viruses every day. It seems to be a never ending battle.

During the winter months, we fight a lot of viruses that can threaten our health. The cold virus is one example of something that can leave us feeling absolutely miserable. Nobody likes having a cold.

There are also viruses that can infect our computer with spyware, malware and other pernicious problems we may not even be able to see or combat without the help of an expert.

But there’s another virus that spreads so quickly, it can do a lot of damage to a lot of people and organizations before anyone really has a chance to combat it. If this particular virus is allowed to spread without being challenged and treated, it can result in great losses to productivity, and the general health of individuals and even an entire work force.

This virus is called negativity.

One person with a negative attitude can infect everyone around them, and, very often, that’s a symptom of the virus itself, for they can’t seem to keep it to themselves and be content with that. Once they’re infected, they feel a certain obligation to spread it from person to person, until everyone else feels as miserable as they are.

What a nasty virus!

The only thing I’ve really found effective at fighting the negativity virus is to get away and isolate myself from the carrier. I’ve tried reasoning, cheerfulness, positivity and other antidotes, but many times, my efforts are ineffective and I end up getting infected with what they have before I know it.

So, here’s your challenge today:

Be a carrier for a different kind of virus.

Be a positivity carrier.

Just for today, smile like you mean it.

When you and others are faced with grim news (and let’s face it, there’s plenty of that to go around these days), look past the negative and find the positive. Then share that with others. While the carriers of the negativity virus always look for the dark cloud inside the silver lining, see if you can look past that and find the silver lining.

Do you know someone who is down, who needs encouragement, love, caring and a dose of something positive? You can help them. You don’t need anyone’s permission to help them, just do it.

Be a positivity carrier.

Infect as many people as you can.

They may think you’re crazy, but that’s okay. Often people infected with negativity can only see optimism as insanity. Don’t worry about that, and certainly don’t let that affect your efforts to find the good amidst all the bad.

Can you be positive today?

Can you be a carrier of the positivity virus?

Can you infect others?

I think you can.

Now, go and do and have fun with it!

Thank you for reading today’s post. I appreciate you. Because I know you come to my blog and read what I write, I feel more positive about life.

See? You’re already doing it.

And always remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.
James

Pro Bono

Many of us work to put food on the table. Some of us work for big corporations, others put in our best efforts at small businesses, and still others consult or work for themselves.

We are a varied people with many wonderful talents, skills and abilities.

How can we share these with others in the context of serving others?

Have you ever heard the term pro bono?

You’ve likely heard it used by people in the legal profession.

Pro bono is a Latin term that literally means for (the) good, rightly, morally, but it’s come to mean donating services and doing something for free that you would otherwise charge for.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Are you in a position to share your expertise pro bono today? If you consult or are otherwise self employed, can you find someone who can benefit from your services but can’t afford your rates?

If you work for someone else, this may not be an option, but you can still find ways to serve.

Do you have a special skill or talent that can help another?

Are you good at writing press releases? How about contacting a local charity or non-profit organization and offer to write one or two releases without charging them?

Are you proficient at writing resumes? In today’s sour economy, it’s likely you can find someone who has lost their job and needs your help. Can you help them for free?

Do you have construction skills that could help someone with needed home repairs? How about mechanical expertise to help someone with their vehicle?

Can you donate even 10% of your time, your talents and everything with which you've been blessed?

I think you get the idea. Be creative. As always, try to have fun with it and try to not make the recipient of your service feel like a service project. None of us like to feel like a "cause".

So, share your talent today.

Remember, this isn’t about self-promotion – it’s all about sharing what you can do for others.

Can you help them?

I bet you can.

Thank you for being willing to share today. It’s you who makes what I do so worthwhile and fulfilling. I appreciate you!

Please feel free to share, forward, digg, stumble and retweet today’s challenge.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Perceptions

It’s Thursday, October 16, 2008

Welcome to Service Thursday!

Let’s talk about perception.

Look at the picture above. What do you see? What would your reaction be if you stumbled across such a creature?

Depending on who you are, your answer will differ.

If you were an insect or a mouse, you’d say it’s a predator – something deadly.

If you were a farmer, you’d say it’s something that catches bugs and mice – something helpful.

If you are a herpetologist, you’d say it’s a specimen to be studied – something interesting.

And if you are ophidiophobic, you wouldn’t hang around long enough to answer the question. (Ophidiophobia is fear of snakes, just so you know).

Now, let’s think about how we perceive others. We can all have the same encounter with the same person or people, and come away seeing something completely different.

And others in that same encounter may well perceive our words and actions much differently than we indended.

Some of us will see the encounter as helpful; others will see it as dangerous. Still others will perceive it as simply interesting.

For example, at my house, if there’s a spider on the wall, who do you think squeals and cries and calls the brave spouse to come dispose of it?

If your answer was my wife, you’re wrong. When it comes to spiders, I’m the squealer, and my wife is the courageous one who comes to the rescue (often giggling at my scardy-cat behavior).

In fact, more often than not, she’ll even release the beast back into the wild, where I’m just sure he’s already scheming and charting his way back to the house.

But, I digress.

Perception can be absolute reality of the perceiver. What we think we see, feel, hear and touch is reality to us.

If you have siblings or a childhood friend you still keep in touch with, try this experiment with them:

Together, think of a situation from your childhood. It could be Christmas morning, a family camping trip or a trip to the movies.

Talk about how each of you felt about something your parents or other adults said in that situation. If you’re like me and my seven siblings and friends, you’re almost sure to see things differently.

Sometimes, the differences in perception are small and slight. Others are like night and day – you perceive the same situations completely differently than the other perceived it. It doesn’t mean either of you are wrong, you just came away from the same situation feeling and seeing things differently.

I have an uncle who thinks his dad (my grandfather) was mean-spirited and ornery in some situations. My father, however, remembers some of the very same situations and thinks grandpa was kind and loving.

Same situation, same grandfather – different perceptions.

Perception to each is their reality.

So, here’s your Service Thursday challenge:

As you interact with others today – whether with your boss, your direct reports, your spouse, children or others, try to avoid letting a negative perception color anyone’s feelings about those interactions. Try really hard not to see (or be seen as) predator where others would see benefactor.

Try to perceive things with a positive spin. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Try also to leave an impression with them that you are a benefactor, too.

Try to make it so that neither of you perceive the other as a snake.

Try not to strike out or run, even if you’re feeling scared or repelled.

Try also not to make them want to strike out or run.

I realize this can be hard, whether in the workplace, with family or with strangers. Its especially difficult in a heated disagreement to stop thinking that everyone has an agenda that is painful and poisonous to others.

You may have a disagreement with another person, but it’s really your choice whether or not you are disagreeable in that situation.

Try to perceive the other people in your life as allies, as fellow brothers and sisters – as Children of God.

And then (the fun part of the challenge!) try your very best to treat them like you’d want to be treated in the same situation.

Treat them like Children of God.

Try not to see others as dangerous snakes with a poisonous agenda.

Try not to act in ways that give others a reason to perceive you as a snake with your own brand of venom.

That’s all there is to it!

You can do it.

I know you can do it.

Thank you for reading today.

Thank you for being willing to take my challenge.

And, as always, thank you for passing it on to others!

James

Another Service Thursday

Welcome back to Service Thursday.

Today’s challenge is both simple and easy.

Let me tell you what I experienced yesterday – quite by accident.

There’s a lady in my office I only see from time to time. We’ll call her Heather.

Heather started working with our company about 5 months ago. The woman is a professional at customer service, and always dresses really nice.

I was walking down the row of cubicles where she sits, and I walked right past her. I stopped, and backed up.

“Heather,” I said, “did you change your hair?”

She smiled demurely and nodded.

“I love it! It looks really good on you like that!”

I continued on.

Not long after, I got an IM from one of her teammates telling me that Heather was on cloud nine. All because I happened to notice something she had changed.

But, like I said, she always dresses nice, and all she had done was try on a new hairstyle. It was almost an accident that I happened to pass by and notice.

It was that – the fact that I noticed what she’d changed – that put her over the moon.

The compliment was sincere, and she accepted it as such. She knew I wasn’t being facetious, sarcastic or saying something nice “just because”.

Sincerety goes a long, long way.

When Heather left for the day, she came and found me and she was still beaming. She thanked me for noticing, and said my comment made her day.

Here’s your challenge:

Find two or three people today who you normally don’t interact with and give them a sincere compliment.

Remember, sincerity is the key. You don’t want people thinking you’re shallow or sarcastic. If you compliment someone on something you genuinely don’t like, they’ll know. That’s not the goal.

Be sincere and they’ll feel the sincerity of the words you speak, because there will be real sincere feelings behind them.

Now that you know the challenge, go and do.

Go be nice to a few folks (not that you’re not already nice – I know you are).

Is there someone who has accomplished something you admire?

Is there someone who does what they do with exceptional kindness or efficiency?

Is there someone who has helped you or someone else through a difficult time or situation?

Remember the people who don’t get much attention.

The harried barrister at your favorite coffee shop.

The janitor who cleans up after you.

The person who has the thankless job of delivering your mail.

You know who I’m talking about.

Have fun with it, but do it.

Today.

And as always, I’m asking you to pass it on.

Digg this. Stumble this. Link this. Post this.

But wait until after you’ve completed your challenge.

James

Do you have 10 minutes to spare?

What can you do to make someone’s day worthwhile? A lot, actually.

Have you ever noticed those days when you just aren’t feeling “in the groove”? You know those times - the times where you just feel the blahs coming on. You don’t want to be bothered to even show up for work, but you do it anyway because you need the money.

We all have those days.

What would make you feel better?

A smile. A hug. A friendly and encouraging word from someone, even if they don’t know you all that well.

Take a moment right now, and think about those in your current environment. If you’re at work, stand up and take a quick look around you. What do you see? Are you looking at people who are happy with their lives? Is there one who seems to be having a bad day? Maybe they’re lonely or just not in a great mood.

Maybe their car hasn’t been in the best of shape lately, and they’re tired of mechanics and having to buy oil and antifreeze. Maybe they had a spat with their kids or spouse this morning. Who knows?

If you were having a bad day, how would you feel if someone made the effort to let you know that they care? How invaluable to you for someone else to have someone just… listen? You know they don’t have to fix whatever the problem is. Just having someone take five or ten minutes out of their busy day to ask how you’re doing – how you’re really doing, and then listen to you with their heart.

We all want someone to listen to us once in awhile. We want to know that we’re not alone in what we’re going through. We want to feel a part of the great network of humanity, with all it’s imperfections and greatness.

We don’t have to feel that we’re right all the time. But to know that our feelings are validated is a special gift.

Do you see someone who needs that today? Can you find a few minutes in your busy day to go and listen to them? Can you go ask how they’re feeling and then just listen without judgment or interruption? Can you let them speak for several minutes and really focus on how they’re feeling?

Can you smile, nod and let them know they are a valuable person? Can you let them know you appreciate what they add to your life, your career or your organization?

Can you?

I think you can.

I appreciate all of you who come read my words and then act on the challenges I give you. You make me feel worthwhile and needed. You can’t possibly know how good you make me feel. Thank you for that.

Now, please spread the love. Go find someone and make a difference in their day, too. And please, pass it on.

James