Tell Them

Welcome to Monday

Most of us don’t know when we’re going to be called Home by that God who gave us life. For either you or me, it could be today or twenty years from now.

We just don’t know.

Have you ever lost someone and regretted not being able to really tell them how you feel about them?

I’ve been there.
I suspect you have, too. It’s not a pleasant feeling.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Pick one person in your life (family, coworker, neighbor – whoever) and tell them how you feel about them.

Tell them why they make you feel good.

Tell them why they make you smile.

Tell them why you’d miss them if either of you were to be separated.

Tell them you appreciate/like/love them.

If you happen to get called Home soon, don’t make them wonder how you really feel about them.
Tell them.

Today.

I appreciate you.

Thank you so much for reading and taking today’s challenge.

Please pass it on.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Finding the Trail

Welcome to Wednesday.

For many of us who work in the corporate world, this is considered “over the hump day”. It’s the middle of the week, right smack-dab between Monday and Friday.

For some, the day is easy – we have a clear goal and direction of where we want to go – what we want to accomplish.

For others, our vision is not so clear. We can’t always find a clearly marked trail. Such myopia can be especially troublesome when we feel that we are being pulled in all directions.

You must know that if you feel this way, others do too. They are searching for a path up and out of their troubles. They are hoping to find a trail marker. All too often, however, there is no rock at the trailhead with fluorescent painted sign marked “Trail”.

Sometimes they need a trail guide. They need someone to show them that someone else has not only found the trail, but they have ascended the mountain. They not only need to know there is indeed a trail, they also need a firm reassurance that the trail is walkable and the view from the top is worth the hike to get there.

Have you found the trail?

Have you been to the summit?

Can you help someone else find the trail?

Can you guide them up the trail so they can see the view you’ve been blessed to see?

Think about the trails you’ve blazed, or found with the help of others. Can you identify them?

Have you traversed the trail of addiction? Divorce? Losing a loved one through divorce or death? Disability? Single parenthood?
Have you seen the vista of freedom from the top of the trail?

Would you be willing to share your experience and help someone else find that trail?

I bet you would.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Seek out one person today who is struggling. You may not be an expert at completely overcoming the same struggle, but you may be farther up the trail than them.

Can you reach back and help them get to where you are?

Can you teach them, through word, deed and example, how to find and then climb the trail?

I promise you, that if you help someone up to where you are, you can help each other from there, on up to the summit. And you know what? At that point, you’re both there.

You can do it.

You can help them.

I know you can – and I very much appreciate the fact that you’re willing to try.

Please pass it on.

James

Do They Know?

Welcome to Tuesday.

Short post today, as I realize you probably have a lot to do, including reading other people’s blogs.

I’ll get right to the daily challenge, after a brief background sketch.

On December 31, 2005, my older brother, Mark passed away after a brief illness. He came out of his coma long enough for us to tell him that we loved him, and say goodbye.

I am so very grateful it worked out that way for us. But, often, death steals our loved ones away suddenly – without warning – and all too often, we have neither said a proper goodbye, nor told them how we feel about them.

And now, with my older sister in the hospital and not getting better from a very serious illness, this challenge means all the more to me.

Here it is:

Think of 2 – 5 people in your life you dearly love.

Call them.

Tell them how much you mean to them.

No, don’t wait til tomorrow. There will be a new challenge tomorrow!

Okay, well, if you can’t reach them today, I suppose you can do it tomorrow – but no later.

And then, make it a point to let them know once in awhile that you love them, like them, admire them, are grateful for them. Just don’t let them wonder. Self-forgiveness is so difficult when you know you had the chance but didn’t take it.

Thanks for taking my challenge.

I want you to know how much I appreciate you! Please pass this on.

James

Stumbling Blocks

Welcome to Monday.

In June, 2007, I stepped down out of the tub wrong and broke a bone in my right foot. I was on crutches for months. During that time, I was unable to put any pressure on my foot. That meant I had to keep my foot suspended in it’s boot anytime I hobbled anywhere.

I had just started working for a company that was planning to move locations. The office I started working in first was a nightmare to get to. It was in an old business park where you had to walk down 34 (I counted) old, broken concrete stairs. There was no elevator.

I was able to get to and from work on the bus, which was a definite blessing.

When we moved offices, however, the bus stopped half a mile away. The building was nice – it even had an elevator. But the glass doors to get in both the lobby and my upstairs office, were heavy, and I often had to wait for someone to come along and let me in or out.

It was a frustrating time. There were many stumbling blocks that I needed help with.

A couple of coworkers really helped me a lot, but when they weren’t around, I had to really swallow my pride and ask. Leaning down to place my lunch in the under-counter refrigerator, for example, was really challenging. The floor was often slick, and my crutches threatened to slip out from under me.

I think one of the most uncomfortable things for me was knowing there were coworkers sitting not 5 feet away from me as they watched me struggle.

Maybe they didn’t help because they didn’t know me well. Maybe it was because they felt funny offering help. Maybe they thought that unless I fell, I was really okay.

I wasn’t. I really could have used some help.

I’m not sharing this so you’ll feel bad for me, nor for my old co-workers to get a first-class ticket for a guilt trip. I only share it as an illustration for this challenge.

Since that time, I’ve really tried to be aware of co-workers who struggle with crutches, disabilities and injuries.

And that’s your challenge for this week.

Think of the people you work with, or that you see on a daily basis. Are there any on crutches? Do any of the people you see depend on a cane? How about a wheelchair or walker?

Do they need help?
If you answered “no”, how do you know? Have you offered? Have you watched them struggle?

Can you offer?

Would you offer?

Would you let them know that they can call you, text you, email you or IM you if they need your help?

Do they need help getting around, to and from work?

Can you help them find that help if you can’t do it yourself?

I bet you can.

I know, because if you’re here reading, you already are interested in doing something nice for others.

And I appreciate that!

Find someone who is having a hard time getting around and help them.

Who knows? You might even learn something about them, and about your ability to make an impact on someone’s day.

As always, please share this with someone else today.

James

Service Letter

It's Sunday.

To many, it's a day of rest from weekly labors. But it can also be a day to do something good.

Something positive.

Here is today's service challenge:

Spend a few minutes thinking and praying. Think of someone who you secretly admire. Someone who may be an unsung hero in your life.

When you know who it is, pick up a pen and get some paper.

Write them a letter. Tell them you notice the good they do. Be specific if you can.

Get an envelope and stamp.

Tomorrow, mail the letter.

That's all there is to it.

A small and simple service project.

Thank you for being willing to do something nice. That makes you an unsung hero, too.

As always, please pass it on.

I appreciate you!

James

Taking Care

Do you know someone who takes care of someone else?

Most of us do.

There are single moms and dads who have to play both parental roles all the time. There are adult children who give up much of their “outside” life to take care of their parents. Spouses become disabled and debilitated and need round the clock care.

It seems at some point in life, we all get the opportunity and blessings of service by taking care of someone we love.
.

But this weekend’s challenge isn’t about caretaking of children, parents or spouses. It’s about taking care of the caretakers.

What can you, as an individual or family do to help ease the burden of a caretaker you know of?

Can you find a few hours this weekend to give them some time to regain their sense of individuality? Can you take over watching their loved ones for an hour, a day or the weekend?

Maybe you can send them to a movie.

Maybe you can send them to a spa.

Maybe you can just give them the free time to do whatever it is they’ve been longing to do but haven’t been able to.

Could be they want to just go pick up a book at the library.

Could be they just want to get out for a drive.

Could be you don’t know what they want to do, and that’s okay.

You know they don’t need your permission to go relax and recoup. But they may need your help giving themselves permission.

Caretakers are very loyal to the one they watch over. It’s so hard for them to want to let go, even for an hour. I know. I’ve both been a caretaker to my mother, and I’ve watched my father and siblings. It’s a tough thing to allow yourself to relax when a loved one needs constant care or supervision. When you step away from that situation, you worry, no matter how long you’re gone.

It’s tough to let go, even for an hour or two.

You worry about the one you’re watching over. You worry that the person taking over for you won’t know how to do things “just right”. You worry that something will happen.

Still, it’s critical that we allow them time to get away from the situation for even a short time. They need the mental rest. They need to know that others are there to care for them, as well as for their loved one.

You can be that person.

You can help them understand you are competent and capable of taking over for a time. You can make sure they know you’ll contact them if something comes up that you aren’t sure you can handle.

You can even lend them your cellphone and tell them you’ll call them if there’s an urgent matter they need to address.

They may not want to take the time off. They may feel guilty for wanting to take some time alone.

The best you can do is to offer, and to help them in whatever way they need you.

You can at least ask.

And you can certainly listen.

Even if they don’t want to go anywhere, you can stay with them and their loved one and listen.

Listen with your ears, and with your heart.

Ask what they want you to do, as well as what they need you to do.

And then do it.

That is your weekend challenge. Please do what you can, and as always, please pass it on.

Thank you for all you do. Your willingness to serve amazes me. Truly.

James

Did you think to pray?

There’s a hymn our church sings, that says:

“Ere you left your room this morning, did you think to pray?”

This is today’s challenge.

Praying for others. Even if they’re strangers. We all need God’s help..

You can either concentrate on one person, family or situation and pray for them throughout the day, or you can say short but earnest prayers for many different people or families or situations as you encounter them.

Have you ever been in heavy traffic, and seen a driver on the side of the road with a disabled car? You don’t know why – maybe they ran out of gas. Maybe their alternator failed them or a fan belt snapped.

All you know is they’re there, and because of time constraints or traffic, or maybe both, you just can’t help them.

You don’t know them, but you still feel bad. You wish there was something you could do.

There is.

You can say a prayer for them.

No, you don’t have to (nor should you) close your eyes while you’re driving – then you’ll also need help. But you can talk to God and ask Him to send help to the stranded motorist. You can ask that they be protected from harm and danger.

You can ask that they can have access to the same mercy you’ve been a recipient of.

It works in other situations, too.

What about the woman on the train who looks like she’s just got far too much to deal with?

What about the elderly couple struggling to get by?

What about the natural disaster victims you hear about on the news?

Do you think they would benefit from prayer?

How about someone you know dealing with a medical condition that seems hopeless or at least painful?

How about a co-worker who is trying to learn how to navigate office politics?

How about a single mom or dad struggling just to get by while keeping their sanity intact?

Could you pray for them?

Would you pray for them?

That is your challenge for today.

Pray for others.
Thank you for being willing to read and take this challenge. I’ll pray for you to be able to complete it and feel the peace and joy that only God, with His mercy and love can give you.

And, as always, I’m asking you to pass it on.

James

World Impact

Have you done any good in the world today? Have you helped somebody in need?

This is the challenge for today.

Think about how you are impacting humanity, either for good or for bad. Make a difference, even if it’s just a smile or holding a door for someone.

You can do it.

I believe in you!

Pass it on.

James

Meet Don

I'd like to tell you about a boy I met at church. I'll call him Don.

At 16, Don seems to be closer to God than anyone I know, child or adult. He's mentally challenged, but that works to his advantage.

In a talk his mom gave last month, she told of overhearing Don tell God, in prayer, that he was ready to go Home whenever God was ready to send for him. And he was happily serious about it.

Today while I was sitting in the foyer at Church, Don happened to be in the hall. Two strangers walked by and Don rushed to introduce himself.

"I'm Don! Who are you?"

A little taken aback, they told him their names. Chris and Mike.

He hugged them both at the same time while fairly yelling, "Hi, Chris! Hi, Mike!" He was genuinely excited to have two new friends (they just didn't know they were best friends yet).

I watched their faces as Don ran off to greet others. Their surprised looks gave way to honest-to-goodness smiles. He had touched their hearts with simple love that was complete and unambiguous.

I wish I could be more like Don.

Welcome Back to Service Thursday

I took my own advice today. I had posted about taking a few minutes to talk to someone who was feeling down.

For me, it was a co-worker, I’ll call Alice.

Ever since I joined the team I currently work on, Alice has pretty well kept to herself. She has a great sense of humor and a bigger than anything smile, but she just seems to prefer staying in her shell most of the time.

The best part of what happened today was that it was straight out of the blue.

We were having a conversation about work in IM and, when there was a break, I just typed a few lines telling her how much I appreciated having her on the team and how I enjoy working with her.

What I said was absolutely true. I would never lie to a person for the sole purpose of making them feel good, nor would I advocate doing that.

Her first question: “Where did that come from?”

My answer: “From the heart.”

She thought I was being a smart alec – a wise cracker. But I wasn’t and I told her so. I emphasized some of the things I’ve seen her do for others around the office, and told her I liked the fact that she cares so much about other people. I told her that her actions spoke volumes about her intuitive caring nature, and pointed out how nice she's always been to me.

Then she surprised me. She said, “What comes around goes around. It’s easy to be nice to you because you’re nice.”

I have to say, this is a conversation I’ll remember for a long, long time. I couldn't get the smile off my face for the rest of the day.

Serving others isn’t always easy – and it's rarely convenient as one good woman posted in the comments section of my blog. She’s right. Many times we have to step out of our comfort zones in order to help someone else. This is especially true if we don’t know or like or get along with the person we’re serving.

Think about it. How easy is it to stop and chat with a homeless person? How do you feel about someone who appears outwardly hostile towards mankind? What’s your reaction to someone who sits next to you in church or a professional setting and they smell of alcohol, cigarettes or it smells like they need a shower?

How easy is it to step outside our safety circle and – literally or figuratively – embrace that person?

What if at worship services they don’t know the hymns or when to say “Amen”? What if they sing off key?

What if they’re a sinner?

These are things each of us struggle with (or have struggled with) from time to time). None of us is perfect, but the beauty of service to others is that neither the served nor the one being served needs to be perfect in order for simple service to be effective and appreciated.

You don’t have to be perfect to serve someone else.

You don’t have to be perfect to allow yourself to be served.

So, my challenge today, Thursday, September 25th is this –

Serve a stranger. Do it, even if it makes you a bit uncomfortable.

God has made the rain fall on both you and the one you need to serve today. But He’s made the sun come out and shine on you both as well. He is no respecter of persons. Yeah, I know – He’s God of the Universe, and He has the ability to look past imperfections.

I’ll let you in on a secret. If you can try, with a prayer in your heart, you can, too.

Just try. That’s all anyone can expect. Don’t be perfect.

Just try.

And, as always, I’m asking you to pass it on.

James

Do you have 10 minutes to spare?

What can you do to make someone’s day worthwhile? A lot, actually.

Have you ever noticed those days when you just aren’t feeling “in the groove”? You know those times - the times where you just feel the blahs coming on. You don’t want to be bothered to even show up for work, but you do it anyway because you need the money.

We all have those days.

What would make you feel better?

A smile. A hug. A friendly and encouraging word from someone, even if they don’t know you all that well.

Take a moment right now, and think about those in your current environment. If you’re at work, stand up and take a quick look around you. What do you see? Are you looking at people who are happy with their lives? Is there one who seems to be having a bad day? Maybe they’re lonely or just not in a great mood.

Maybe their car hasn’t been in the best of shape lately, and they’re tired of mechanics and having to buy oil and antifreeze. Maybe they had a spat with their kids or spouse this morning. Who knows?

If you were having a bad day, how would you feel if someone made the effort to let you know that they care? How invaluable to you for someone else to have someone just… listen? You know they don’t have to fix whatever the problem is. Just having someone take five or ten minutes out of their busy day to ask how you’re doing – how you’re really doing, and then listen to you with their heart.

We all want someone to listen to us once in awhile. We want to know that we’re not alone in what we’re going through. We want to feel a part of the great network of humanity, with all it’s imperfections and greatness.

We don’t have to feel that we’re right all the time. But to know that our feelings are validated is a special gift.

Do you see someone who needs that today? Can you find a few minutes in your busy day to go and listen to them? Can you go ask how they’re feeling and then just listen without judgment or interruption? Can you let them speak for several minutes and really focus on how they’re feeling?

Can you smile, nod and let them know they are a valuable person? Can you let them know you appreciate what they add to your life, your career or your organization?

Can you?

I think you can.

I appreciate all of you who come read my words and then act on the challenges I give you. You make me feel worthwhile and needed. You can’t possibly know how good you make me feel. Thank you for that.

Now, please spread the love. Go find someone and make a difference in their day, too. And please, pass it on.

James

It's Service Thursday!

Welcome to Service Thursday

Do you want to feel good today? I don't mean, "I got my espresso and cinabun so it's gonna be a productive day" good. I'm talking about the kind of feeling that makes you feel as though you've made a difference. The kind of inner-peace that comes from knowing you have a real honest-to-goodness purpose in life.

I'm talking about the feeling that comes from serving someone else.

Today, September 18, 2008, marks the first Service Thursday.

It's a pretty simple concept, really - a "bite sized" idea if you will.

All I'm asking you to do is find one person, family or organization and do something nice for them today.

You can smile at someone who you can tell has just had it with life. You can be their shoulder to cry on; their sounding board.

You don't have to solve their problems (though you know you would if you could). Sometimes it just helps to have someone hear you out.

Be that person.

Or, you can stop and ask a "street person" if they would like lunch. You don't have to spend a lot of money, maybe five, six bucks. Get them a dollar burger and a soda. How about a sandwich? Maybe you can intersperse some encouraging words when you take their order. You might be pleasantly surprised to discover that in their history, you share something in common.

Be the one who makes their life just a little easier.

Or, after you load your own groceries in the car, you can hang around for a few minutes just to see if someone else has a load they're having a hard time with. Ask them if they would like help. They may say no. They may be suspicious of your motives. That's okay. Smile if your offer is declined. Move on and find someone else.

Be the person who at least offered to help.

You get the idea.

One of my very favorite quotes comes from an ancient wise leader named King Benjamin.

He said: "When you are in the service of your fellow being, you are only in the service of your God."

I take that to heart.

Service projects don't have to be weildly and time consuming. Sometimes, people just need to know they're not alone in the world. They need to know someone cares and is interested in their humanity.

Be that person.

And, remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Announcing “Serve Where You Are” Week – September 14 – 20, 2008

What it is:

An opportunity to actively search out ways to serve others – and then serve without fanfare

How it Works:

Set aside and dedicate as much time that you can spare during the entire week
Work as a couple, a team or alone. There’s no one to report to
Look around you to find opportunities to serve (see below for ideas)
Seek to serve without recognition. Serve quietly and with dignity
Share the Serve Where You Are details with others

Ideas for Service:

Help out at the food bank
Clean a cemetery
Carry groceries for someone
Collect books for a battered women’s shelter
Be someone’s shoulder to cry on
Compliment a stranger
Smile at someone
Offer to mow someone’s lawn
Offer to make a drugstore run for an elderly person
Attend an AA meeting with someone
Take a sack lunch to a homeless person
Hand out signed “coupons” that say, “Sometimes it’s just nice to know someone cares about you. I care”, (see attached document as a basic example)

Spread the word!

Post this at your work or hand it out as a flyer
Email this to your friends in your address book (please don’t spam)
Blog about it
Visit the Service Blog http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/ and be sure to comment

Tell me how it goes:

I’m interested to hear your experiences. If you’re interested, please email me at jameswhofheins@yahoo.com and tell me some of the things you did to serve. Be as detailed as you like; tell me about the reactions you got from others, how you felt, and if your experience would lead you to participate again.

With your permission, I’d also like to post your comments on my blog, using only your first name and city and state.

Thank you so much for being willing to participate. Truly, service is the action form of love!