Monday, March 2, 2009
Lessons from Mama's Passing
Welcome back. Late last year and early this year, life got in the way and I needed to take a leave of absence.
My mama had just turned 79 and one month to the day when she passed away on January 16, 2009.
From this experience, losing someone so incredibly important in my life, I learned some valuable service lessons. For today’s post, I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned.
When dealing with someone grieving and mourning, this is what helped me:
I find myself talking about the most random memories of mama. It really helps when someone is willing to just listen.
If you have memories of the person I’m mourning, I love hearing those memories. This also encourages me to share.
Allow mourning time.
The one comment that shuts me down completely is “get over it”. How can I get over the death of this very special person in a specified period of time? I can’t and I won’t. My mourning will take as long as it takes.
Don’t worry about the “right” thing to say.
In the ICU, at the funeral and later, many people told me they wished they knew what to say. Just the fact that you said that lets me know you care, and it’s a lot more appreciated than saying nothing at all. Though it may not be true, saying nothing can give the appearance that you don’t care.
Be a Peacemaker.
When faced with the passing of a loved one, how sad is it that survivors fight and bicker over material possessions? Be willing to share, find ways to get along and be thoughtful of the others in the situation. Remember, you’re not the only one feeling the loss, and as for material possessions, well, you can’t take it with you.
Thank you for being willing to read today’s post. Thank you for being willing to be kind and thoughtful of others, despite the circumstances. Thank you for being willing to share my words with others by posting, linking, stumbling and forwarding.
Thank you for being you.
And remember, Service is the Action Form of Love