Monday, March 2, 2009

Lessons from Mama's Passing

Welcome back. Late last year and early this year, life got in the way and I needed to take a leave of absence.

My mama had just turned 79 and one month to the day when she passed away on January 16, 2009.

From this experience, losing someone so incredibly important in my life, I learned some valuable service lessons. For today’s post, I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned.

When dealing with someone grieving and mourning, this is what helped me:


I find myself talking about the most random memories of mama. It really helps when someone is willing to just listen.


If you have memories of the person I’m mourning, I love hearing those memories. This also encourages me to share.

Allow mourning time.

The one comment that shuts me down completely is “get over it”. How can I get over the death of this very special person in a specified period of time? I can’t and I won’t. My mourning will take as long as it takes.

Don’t worry about the “right” thing to say.

In the ICU, at the funeral and later, many people told me they wished they knew what to say. Just the fact that you said that lets me know you care, and it’s a lot more appreciated than saying nothing at all. Though it may not be true, saying nothing can give the appearance that you don’t care.

Be a Peacemaker.

When faced with the passing of a loved one, how sad is it that survivors fight and bicker over material possessions? Be willing to share, find ways to get along and be thoughtful of the others in the situation. Remember, you’re not the only one feeling the loss, and as for material possessions, well, you can’t take it with you.

Thank you for being willing to read today’s post. Thank you for being willing to be kind and thoughtful of others, despite the circumstances. Thank you for being willing to share my words with others by posting, linking, stumbling and forwarding.

Thank you for being you.

And remember, Service is the Action Form of Love

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this. This is what I needed to hear. I am close to someone in a diff world..*game* but is a really really good friend of mine.. possibly one of my best out there and I dunno if they really understand my grieving process. They say I have changed since Grandma's passing and I am not the same. That I am just in some funk and having a hard time getting out of it. .. Everyone certainly is different in how they grieve and how long it takes them. Losing Grandma or in your case your momma is something you just don't get over. I guess if no one understands this then they really don't deserve your time. And I am finally realizing that myself. This was well put and I am so thankful you posted this today. I Love You and am always here,

Love Always