Friday, December 5, 2008
Welcome to Friday – our favorite day of the week!
Have you been weighed down by the conflicting emotions of wanting to forgive but not wanting to let go?
I’d like to tell you about a challenging experience I had to get through recently.
In my job as a customer service representative, I was asked to take on some additional responsibilities. It wasn’t a promotion. There was no extra money, just a sort of added title to go with more work.
I relished the challenge.
This new role required me to help supervise my team of workers. I was asked to help manage them, direct them, listen to them and answer their questions.
One of the people I now supervise apparently didn’t understand or appreciate my new role. I’m not sure if she felt she was better qualified, or just didn’t like the fact that I was now in a position to help the team step up to the plate and work a little harder and smarter. Whatever the reason, there was bitterness. It was immediate and fierce.
I began receiving replies to my team emails that were sarcastic in tone. I even received a message asking if I could have special priveleges because of my new responsibilities.
Whenever I passed by her, I got a cold, withering look from her.
She met with my supervisors to complain about me.
It got bad enough that I was losing sleep over it.
A lot of sleep.
Then, just as I was about at the point of giving in to my fears that I was the cause of the animosity, I received an email from her.
She asked for my forgiveness.
She asked if we could be friends.
She told me she hadn’t realized what my responsibilities entailed, and thought I was unfairly giving her extra work when I had no right do delegate tasks.
What would you do?
Would you forgive?
Would you question her motives?
Here’s today’s challenge:
If you’ve been weighed down by a situation where you’re wanting to forgive, but you’re just having a hard time deciding whether or not you can or should let it go –
It’s certainly not easy, especially considering all the negative emotions and energy that came before now, but hanging on to all of that is no way to live. It’s draining, and it’s likely affecting you much more than it is the other person or people involved.
You don’t have to be their best friend.
You can still be cautious.
You can still be careful.
No matter how long ago the incident happened. No matter who was right or wrong.
Let it go.
Find reconciliation with the peace you so badly want, even if you can’t reconcile with them.
A friend used the phrase, “water under the bridge” the other day.
The interesting thing about water under the bridge is that you don’t have to run downstream to watch and see what happens.
You can just… let it go and find peace and joy that comes with forgiveness.
Thank you for reading and accepting today’s challenge. Thank you also for being willing to pass it on to others.
Remember, Service is the Action form of Love.