Service - The Action Form of Love

Susan Powell's Family Thanks You

2010-01-05T13:28:00.002-07:00

Thank you all for joining the group. Thank you all for your prayers, support and suggestions. We read them all and pass them on to the WVPD, as appropriate. I know the frustration many of you have expressed in not being able to do more, and the pace of the investigation. Progress is being made and no possibility is being ignored. Every tip given to the WVPD is being worked, please know that your tips are important. With every new group member another set of eyes and ears is involved in finding Susan. This gives great comfort and hope to Susan's family. I appreciate every word of support, every prayer, and positive word. Tips are great but speculation about who did what, what the investigators are doing or not doing only slow the investigation and can potentially sabotage future legal action. I can assure you that the WVPD is actively working the case and using every resource available. Thank you for your support and patience. We share your frustration with how long it is taking, we love Susan and want her reunited with her family, but we know we must be patient. It is so very hard for us as the family to wait. We worry we are not doing all we can. We worry that Susan is waiting for us to rescue her and that every minute lost is priceless. Currently begging for your help and patience and providing tips and information is the best we can do. Your support and prayers help us through each day and each hour.

Thank you. (Susan's Father and Family)

Join the Social Media Blitz to Find Susan Powell

2009-12-31T13:55:00.004-07:00

Our friend, Susan Powell, a beautiful 28 year old Utah mother has been missing since December 7th, 2009. We’re asking you to help us find her.

Want to help? Here’s what you can do:

If you have a twitter account, follow @FindSusan (http://twitter.com/FindSusan) and then tweet about her with a link to this blog post, using the hashtag of #findsusan – please also ask your followers to retweet your message.

Go to the official YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/susanpowellcase Watch the videos, memorize Susan’s face and features. Look around – do you see her? If you do, note her location and condition and call 9-1-1 right now.

Here is the link to Susan’s missing posters: http://picasaweb.google.com/dancingfrostie/MissingPersonSusanPowellRewardPoster# Again, please memorize Susan’s face and look around right where you are. If you see her, please note her location and condition and call 9-1-1 immediately. There is a $10,000 reward for finding her. Please also consider printing out a few and posting them at your local supermarket and other places nearby.

Email findsusanpowell@gmail.com with “I want to help” in the subject line. If there’s a specific service you can provide for us, if and when the time comes that we can use that help, we’ll email you and let you know.

Email 5 of your email contacts with the contents of this message and “Find Susan Powell – Please forward to 5 people” in the subject line. We’re not asking you to spam your friends, family and co-workers. Just email 5 people and if you choose to add more than 5, that’s great.

Join us on the Friends and Family of Susan Powell Facebook Page here: http://bit.ly/findsusan

You can also pray for Susan and her friends and family.

Thank you for anything you can do. We appreciate you!

The Friends and Family of Susan Powell

Out of Service

2009-07-31T11:05:00.003-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Though I’ve tried to write and post on a daily basis, I’m afraid that’s not possible. I’m running out of small and simple service ideas.

If you have an idea or two I could write about, or if you’d like to submit a guest post, please either leave your comments, or email me at jameswhofheins@yahoo.com

In the meantime, I’m going to a once-a-week post. If the idea is original, it will be an original post by me. If not, it will be a “classic” post (another name for reposting something from my archives).

So, whaddya say? Got an idea for me? Please comment or email me.

James

2009-07-28T12:33:00.001-06:00

Share your Candle

2009-07-28T12:27:00.004-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Have you ever been sitting at home in the evening, reading a book or otherwise relaxing, when the power suddenly went out?

This is a pretty common experience. I would expect that you and most of the people you know have had just such a thing happen. And, once it does, the first thing you want to do is find all the candles in your home and light them so you can see what you’re doing.

Think of just how dark the night is without electricity. There’s no light to come in the windows because the street lamps are typically off.

It’s dark and that can sometimes be disorienting, if not downright scary.

Now think about that first candle. When you light it, the room brightens up a little bit, but not much. A single candle can’t usually put off the same light your bedside lamp or kitchen fluorescent lights can put off.

But what happens when you add additional candles? Well, obviously, the intensity and amount of light increases. Depending on where you put the candles around the room, the light can seem to grow exponentially, too.

But what if you had a candle but no way to light it?

Regardless of how many candles you had, with no way to light them, you would stay in the dark until the electricity came back on or the sun rose the next morning.

So many people today are sitting in the dark. They have candles but don’t have the means to light them.

They may be in the dark in a spiritual sense. They may be in the dark economically, educationally, or in some other way. They are lacking something you have – something vital that would make a difference in their lives. The problem is, you may not know about them because – well – because they’re in the dark it’s hard to see them.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Find someone who needs your light and help them light their candle.

Teach them how to light their own candle in the future, but for now, share your light with them.

Don’t let them sit in the dark where they may be scared, frustrated and lonely. Help them. Befriend them. Listen to them and love them.

Be their light.

Thank you for reading today’s challenge. Thank you also for being willing to share it with others. I appreciate you – and the light you are willing to share with others.

Thank you especially for always remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Uplift

2009-07-22T10:38:00.001-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Lately it seems like the news we read and hear is pretty bad. I guess it’s always been that way, but the headlines are hitting home in ways many of us have never before experienced.

There are wars and rumors of wars. Economic hardships. We’re all trying to cut back while at the same time wondering how we are going to survive. Its driving us crazy. So many people find themselves slipping from discouragement into depression.

So, here’s your challenge today:

Find someone who needs uplifting. Talk to them. Help them talk about their fears. Help them get it out into the open. You don’t have to give concrete answers – you may not have answers yourself. But be there and be a shoulder to cry on – a friend to listen.

That’s all there is to it!

I know you can do it, and I appreciate you coming to read today’s post.

I also appreciate you passing it on to others. Together, we’re teaching the world that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Commitment and Integrity

2009-07-17T10:03:00.004-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

How many times do we make a commitment to a friend or family member, and then when asked about it, we say “I forgot”?

For me, I’m afraid it happens too often.

So, here’s your challenge for today:

If you’ve committed to help someone or do something for them, follow through. Keep the commitment you've made to them. It's all part of integrity.

Pretty simple, no?

You can do it!

Thank you for taking time to read today’s challenge. Thank you also for being willing to spread the word and help others learn that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Listen and Learn

2009-07-16T10:32:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

As you may have read in my last post, my wife and I just returned from a week’s vacation. You may also know from previous posts that my mama passed away six months ago today.

Mama had been homebound for many years, and my father stayed by her side until the end of her mortal life. He sacrificed a lot in doing so. He passed up opportunities to go places, visit people and just get out of the house because he didn’t want to leave her alone.

Because of his sacrifice and dedication, my wife and I decided we’d invite dad to go with us on our trip to California. It took him awhile to make up his mind that it was okay to get away from his troubles and relax, but he finally did make up his mind.

I learned a lot about dad on this trip. When it was my turn to drive, he’d sit in the front passenger seat and tell me all sorts of stories. I learned much about dad as a child, as a young man and as a sailor in World War II. It was an experience I’ll always cherish.

I wonder how things would have turned out under different circumstances. I wonder what I would have missed if I had chosen to plug in my MP3 player or crank up the radio rather than just sit and listen to dad talk.

I would have missed many nuggets of fatherly wisdom, and plain old fun stories.

So, here’s your challenge today:

Someone needs to talk. Today, your challenge is to listen.

Whether they have anything profound or groundbreaking to say doesn’t matter.

Listen.

Just listen.

Let them know you’re listening. Encourage them to talk more. Ask questions. Prod them for details. Really try to understand and appreciate what they’re telling you.

That’s it. That’s the challenge for today.

Thank you for listening – or rather, reading. Thank you for being willing to pass on my challenges and for inviting others to come and read.

And thank you especially for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Dear Military - Thank You

2009-07-15T09:32:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

I’ve been absent for a few weeks, taking some time to be with family, taking a vacation and generally recharging my batteries.

This evening, my wife and I stayed home and watched one of a set of DVDs called “Vietnam Combat”. It’s a documentary with several segments about the men and women who, whether by choice or by draft, served our country in the Vietnam War.

The segment we watched tonight finished with some of the helicopter pilots telling what it was like to come home from war. Most of them talked about having similar experiences coming home. One veteran said that he was very proud of what he did in Vietnam but he couldn’t carry that pride home. All of the veterans interviewed echoed that same feeling.

As I watched, I realized that I could almost predict the words and phrases these men used when talking about coming home from the war. I could do this because I have an older brother who also served in Vietnam. He had the same experiences when he returned home, too. He was confronted with the same slurs, the same insults as these men were.

He was spat upon, called horrible names and subjected to indignities unfit for any veteran of any war, regardless of the justness of the cause. He could not wear his military uniform in public. He couldn’t talk about the war.

He couldn’t show his pride for having done what his country asked him to do.

Watching the end of the documentary brought back a lot of memories of long talks with my older brother. Those talks have been few and far between, and understandably so. How could I, who was just a toddler when he went off to war, possibly relate to what it must feel like to have to face death every single day? How could I possibly comprehend what it was like to know that in order to come home alive, you must be willing to kill someone else? How could I possibly understand war when all I’ve ever known in my life is peace?

To those things, I can’t relate.

But, there are things I do understand.

There are things I can relate to.

I can relate to love for my country.

I can understand heeding the call of my country when called upon to serve.

I can comprehend the idea that a soldier serving his country did not start the war he was sent to fight.

The Vietnam War is something now taught in American History class. There are, however, other wars that are current events.

We have men and women now serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan. They are our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and children. We know them as neighbors, coworkers and acquaintances. We hear about their deaths now on the back pages of the newspapers because there have been so many killed. We rarely hear about those with traumatic physical, psychological or mental injuries. And, unless we’re related to one of them, the only time some of us stop to think about them is when we hear about yet another deployment from our community.

They’ve answered the call of duty, every one of them a volunteer. Unlike previous wars, not one of the men or women currently serving in a United States military uniform has been drafted. They serve and protect for many reasons, but they know they’re fighting in an unpopular war. They know many of the American people have lost faith in the reason we’re at war.

And yet they serve.

With honor.

With distinction.

With pride.

I’m sure by now you’re wondering if I’m ever going to get around to today’s service challenge.

Here it is:

Today, if you see someone in a military uniform, thank them for serving.

Regardless of your opinion of the wars we’re fighting, please remember, they didn’t start it. Remember that in addition to fighting in Iraq, in Afghanistan or wherever else they may be deployed, they serve to protect you and your freedom to disagree with governmental policy.

Remember that they fight so that you and I can sit in our local Starbucks, sipping our morning beverage and leisurely read blog posts by authors who think they have the world’s problems all figured out.

Remember that they are human – a fellow brother or sister who misses the comforts of home when they’re deployed. Remember they have feelings and family and…

Well, just remember that when it comes right down to it, the person you see in that uniform would lay down their life to protect you, your family and your freedom.

Don’t you think that merits a quick “thank you”?

I do.

Thank you for reading today’s blog post.

Thank you for being willing to share it with others.

And most especially, thank you for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

An Important Message

2009-06-22T10:06:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Yesterday, my wife and I were driving around. We like to take Sunday drives. We find it quite relaxing to just be with each other and talk.

But yesterday, we saw something new in our neighborhood.

On a little street, behind the Home Depot and Kentucky Fried Chicken, there was an old ragged homeless man, sit-sleeping on an old Coleman cooler. I didn’t notice him or the sign he had propped up, but my wife did.

She made a u-turn in the Home Depot parking lot and asked me for some money. She pulled up to him so that he was on my side, and as we got close, he woke up and stumbled to the car. It was apparent to me that he was dead tired. It was warm out, and as it had been raining, it was also humid. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable it must have been there with only a young tree to shield him from the elements.

I rolled down my window and handed him a little something. He smiled big, and said “God bless you.”

I said, “And happy Father’s Day to you, sir”.

His eyes opened a little wider and his smile faded. “It’s Father’s Day? I didn’t know that.”

We assured him that it was and he shuffled back to his makeshift seat on the sidewalk. We drove away and my wife and I talked about how sad it was that the poor gentleman didn’t even know what day it was.

And then, as we drove toward the KFC, my wife surprised me. She made a bee-line for the drive through. She bought him a small lunch and as I looked at her, she appeared to be crying. She told me that it’s been a long time since seeing such a sight had affected her in such a way.

She said she had the strongest impression that she needed to tell the man something. I learned long ago to not deny my wife when she has such impressions, so I stayed quiet as we drove back to find him.

He was asleep again, and this time she approached so that he was on her side of the car. I’m not sure if he recognized us or not, but he again stood and came to the window. I handed the meal to my wife and she passed it out to him.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

He smiled again, showing where two front teeth were missing. “Gary.”

My wife was a little choked up. “Gary, we brought you some lunch and something to drink. I hope you like it.”

Gary seemed very humbled and most appreciative of her gesture. He took the food and was about to turn back when my wife again spoke.

“Gary, I have something to tell you. It’s something I feel very strongly impressed to say.”

Gary stopped and came back to the car. He was listening.

“Gary, God hasn’t forgotten you. He knows you and He’s aware of you, even though it might seem like you’re alone. You’re not.”

That was the message. We again wished him a happy Father’s Day, and we drove away.

With that, I’ll get to today’s challenge:

Someone needs to hear something you have to say today.

It could be a coworker.

It could be a friend.

It could be a family member.

Or, like in my wife’s case, it could be a stranger.

Deliver the message. Today.

That’s all there is to it.

Thank you for reading and accepting today’s challenge.

Thank you also for being willing to spread my message to others. Thank you for retweeting, forwarding and linking back to this post. Someone needs it, and you help them hear it.

And, as always, thank you for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Slow it Down

2009-06-19T10:31:00.001-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Something I realized this week as I was in a hurry to get inside the store. There was an elderly couple outside struggling to move their empty cart to the empty cart corral in the lot. I was in so much of a hurry, it didn’t hit me until I was well inside that had I slowed down a little bit, I would have realized their need while there was still time to do something about it.

I failed.

So, here’s today’s challenge, for both of us:

Slow down.

Take time to notice your surroundings.

Take time to proactively look for someone in the least bit of trouble.

And then help them.

That’s all there is to it. I’m going to try it!

Thank you for reading and accepting today’s service challenge – I appreciate that you take time out of your busy day to read my words.

Thank you also for being willing to share my words with others.

Together, we can show that truly, Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

It Isn't Easy Being Green

2009-06-17T11:08:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

I’ve been so caught up in work and in watching the incredibly sad drama in Iran lately, I completely forgot to write a blog post.

This issue has really moved me. I find myself staying up way past normal bedtime to check my twitter updates. I realize that I, an American citizen thousands of miles away, can’t do a whole lot to help. But, I feel the need to do what I can.

There was one twitter update that really choked me up. It was posted in the afternoon, USA time and read:

“My death is irrelevant. What is important is that you do not forget my words. We want freedom. I will die for that.”

Though I feel I can’t do much, I also feel that I have been caught up in a history-making event. Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, the news media – it all brings it so close. This isn’t the American Revolution. That’s in the history books. As one clever tweeter put it today, this revolution won’t be televised, it will be downloaded.

I’ve downloaded it into my heart – a heart that aches for the people of Iran who want freedom, who are willing to die for freedom.

This week, my heart is green.

I hope you’re caught up in what’s happening to a people who desperately want the basic freedoms that you want.

I hope your heart is green.

And that brings me to today’s challenge:

Today, do something to support our friends in Iran. Turn your Twitter or other social media site avatar green. Retweet a message from someone fighting for freedom. Watch the news. Get involved.

Pray for them.

That’s all there is to today’s challenge.

Thank you for reading today’s blog post. I appreciate you.

Service is The Action Form of Love

James

The Good News Is...

2009-06-15T11:26:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

The more I read the news or watch it on the Internet or on television, there’s one thing that keeps coming to my mind.

Where’s the good news?

In the past week alone, we’ve heard about probable election fraud in Iran and subsequent oppression of thousands of people, murders, rapes, fires set by arsonists, kidnappings and so much more.

Where is the good news?

It’s a sad but true fact that most news carriers would go broke if they only reported good news items. Consider the following lead in to your favorite news show:

“Absolutely nothing bad happened today in Capital City, today – film at eleven.”

Right.

Wouldn’t happen.

Why?

Because there’s just too much bad news to report.

So, here’s your challenge for today:

Pay close attention to your surroundings. Listen for something positive that happened. It could have happened in your workplace, in your neighborhood or even in your state or country.

Then, when you have the positive tidbit, pass it on.

That’s right – be a carrier of positive news today.

Maybe it’s true that bad news spreads faster than good news. Maybe it’s not. Let’s find out by using today’s challenge as an experiment. See if the good news you passed on comes back to you.

Thank you for taking today’s challenge. Thank you for being willing to pass on the good news as well as my words. I appreciate you.

And, thank you always for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

The Importance of Touch

2009-06-12T11:22:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

I’ve blogged a lot recently about my dearly departed mama. I’m sorry if I’m boring you, but there have been some great lessons of love and service I’ve been able to glean from her life – and from her death.

I ask your forgiveness for yet another post about her.

My siblings and I were recently talking about mama and what we miss most about her. There seemed to be one overarching theme for us all. We miss her touch. We miss her kisses, her hugs and just laying our heads in her lap while she stroked the hair out of our eyes. While we know she is with us in spirit – and that’s such a comforting knowledge – it’s the tangible things we miss. The things we can’t currently have with her.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Touch someone.

If you have a mom or dad, a brother or sister, children or a child, take time today to embrace them. Hold their hand. Stroke the hair out of their eyes. Words may not be necessary, although you certainly may tell them you love them. But at least touch them in a way that they’ll remember when they can’t feel you anymore.

That’s all there is to it.

Thank you for reading today’s post. I appreciate you. Thank you also for being willing to share my words, whether by retweeting, forwarding or linking to my blog.

And, as always, thank you for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love

James

Family Bonds

2009-06-10T11:59:00.003-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

There doesn’t seem to be much that is positive about a loved one passing away. It’s really difficult to find the silver lining around that particular cloud.

Mama, the gentlewoman who carried, bore, raised and loved me for 45 years passed away just under 5 months ago.

During the week the family crowded into (and more or less took over) the ICU waiting room, I don’t think any of us were seeing anything but the dark clouds. As I look back on that time, however, I can finally see a glimmer of something positive. I had a full week with all my brothers and sisters and father – and a full week to reassure mama that I loved her and I knew she loved me, too.

Somehow, the death of a loved one can bring families and friends together like no other occasion. It’s strange how easily hatchets can be buried, arguments forgotten, debts forgiven. The bonding (or re-bonding as the case may be) is one that is powerful and seems so strong that it will never again break.

So it is with our family.

We had a trial run at survivorship when mama’s middle child, Mark passed away in December, 2005. As another brother reminded us, we were in uncharted territory. Other than grandparents, this was the first death to strike so close to our homes and hearts. We were taken unawares and uprepared.

There were parallels in the final days of Mark and mama. Both spent time in the ICU, though at different hospitals. Both had the whole family at the hospital for their final farewells.

Both brought the rest of us a resolve to stay connected through phone calls, email and personal visits. Both slipped peacefully away as easily and simply as stepping out of their bodies and walking through the veil.

Both knew they were loved.

After Mark passed, we siblings determined to maintain our new focus on the family. We were determined to not let life and work creep back in again and interfere with what meant most to us. We resolved to stay in touch, no matter what.

I can’t say we failed, but I think we can all admit we didn’t stay as connected as we would have liked.

In the early days of 2006, we called each other once a week, if not once a day. We constantly sent text messages of love and support, asking how the others were feeling and handling things. We’ve always loved each other, but it seemed we were much more willing to show our love in more concrete ways.

But, as it has a way of doing, life did indeed creep back in. The messages of support became more rare, and we relied on family get-together’s like Christmas, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to bring us together.

And then, mama got sick.

I had become immersed in my job and career and was at work one afternoon when I noticed my phone was vibrating a lot more than usual. I finally took a break and saw that my siblings had been trying to reach me for a few hours. I contacted one of them and learned that mama had gone into the hospital, thinking she’d had a heart attack.

By the next night, she was in the ICU, but her heart was fine. She had managed to aspirate something and was failing swallow tests. Her condition from then on would bounce from good to bad to worse to teetering on the edge between going home and going Home.

I admit, I was selfish.

When I learned mama was in the hospital with the heart attack symptoms, I told my siblings I would come up “if they needed me to”. Mama had been in the hospital countless times in her later years, and I guess I presumed this was another case where they’d treat her and send her home.

I was truly humbled the next morning when I arrived at the ICU and saw my family holding vigil in the waiting room.

Less than a week later, mama indicated to us that she was ready to go. We had brought in a miniature white board and marker, set it on her lap, and let her hands tell us what she couldn’t tell us with the respirator on. The messages she wrote in her beautiful shaky handwriting told us that her story was nearing an end.

She wrote things like:

“I’ve been miserable for so long.”

“Make sure he (dad) isn’t sad.”

“I’m tired.”

“I’m dead.”

The day before she died, we siblings were all downstairs in the hospital cafeteria, eating lunch. A niece of mine came down with a message from mama. “Finish your lunch, then come up, have a family prayer, then shut the door and let me die.”

We accommodated mama’s wishes. When we got that message, we couldn’t finish our lunch anyway.

Surrounding her bed, we watched in agony as mama struggled to breathe even with the help of a BiPap machine. Her eyes were open, glistening and aware as we sang “I Am a Child of God.” We then said our final goodbyes, and left the room.

The next day, life support was removed, and she was gone far quicker than any of us expected her to go. We know she lives on, even today, because of our faith, but also because of what we’ve seen and sensed in the intervening months.

So, why am I rambling about the loss of my mama? Well, I’m not, really.

This is about the loss of family connection. The feeling of a loss of bonds that were forged in the face of losing Mark and mama.

I foolishly presumed mama would come out of the hospital, just as she always had, sitting in the passenger seat of dad’s old station wagon. I foolishly thought she would be around forever.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Don’t be foolish.

Pick up the phone and call your mom, your dad, a favorite aunt or uncle. Call a sibling your child your grandparent, a friend.

Call just to see how they’re doing.

Call just to tell them the words we all long to hear.

Call just to say “I love you.”

Thank you for reading today’s challenge. Thank you for being willing to accept and perform small and simple acts of service for others. You are making a difference in the lives of others.

Thank you for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Leave a Good Impression

2009-06-08T13:42:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Today’s challenge is so simple (though maybe not easy) it won’t take you very long at all to read it.

Here’s your challenge:

Make someone feel better about having met you today. Leave an impression. A good one.

It could be a stranger, a family member, a coworker, even. Just make them feel better for having interacted with you. Leave them feeling better about themselves.

That’s it!

Can you do it?

Of course you can!

Thanks for taking today’s challenge! Thanks for being willing to share it with others. And thank you for being mindful that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Bridge the Distance

2009-06-05T08:59:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Most of us have experienced the nausa that comes with knowing we’ve burned a bridge with someone in our family or circle of friends and acquantances. We think of them often, but we can’t seem to get up the courage to do anything about it.

We let the distance between us grow and grow until it seems we’re so far apart, reconciliation seems impossible.

I once heard it said that refusing to forgive someone and holding onto a grudge is like administering poison by degrees – to ourself.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Today, do something to bridge the distance between you. Be willing to make the first move, regardless of what or who initiated the estrangement.

If you can, forgive and forget.

If you cannot do that, at least try your best to forgive.

Try bridging the distance between you, even if it means swallowing some pride, eating some crow and admitting you were wrong.

You can do it.

You need to do it.

You want to do it.

And they are waiting for you to do it.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Thank you for being willing to share my message and challenge with others.

And thank you especially for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love

James

Ease A Burden

2009-06-04T10:48:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

We all have burdens.

Some of us have burdens of work, others of raising and keeping a family fed. Many of us have both.

Today’s challenge is short, sweet and simple:

Help someone with their burden.

Some burdens can’t be easily lifted off the shoulders of the bearer. Some are deeply emotional and psychological. Others are physical burdens like too much work, too little time. Most of us are facing economical burdens because of the economy, fear of losing our jobs or just the stress of watching others lose theirs.

What can you do to help?

Remember, the idea here is to find small and simple ways to serve others. Find one or two little things you can do to help someone who is overburdened.

Maybe you can just let them vent and listen without interrupting.

Maybe you can offer to run an errand for them.

Maybe you can watch their children so they can have a night to themselves.

Small and simple.

That’s what it’s all about.

Thank you for taking today’s challenge – I appreciate you!

Thank you also for being willing to pass this on to others. You, my friend, make a difference.

You “get it”.

You know that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Employment Alertness

2009-06-03T09:13:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Many of us are enduring some pretty rough financial seas. Earlier this week, I told you about Dan and Barbara, a couple who relocated to Utah for Dan’s job only to be laid off shortly after arriving. Now they’re packing back up to move again, this time at their own expense. $2500 or more down the drain.

In one way or another, we’re all experiencing some fallout from the current economic crisis.

So, what can we do to help?

How can we help in small and simple ways?

Today’s challenge is this:

Be alert.

Know of a job opening at your company or nearby? How about posting it on Twitter, Facebook or any other social media site you belong to?

Do you know someone who could fill that job? Why not cut to the chase and email it directly to him or her?

See?

Small and simple. Just like always.

Be alert for openings; pass them on to others who might be in the market for that job.

Thank you for reading and accepting today’s challenge. I really appreciate the fact that you understand the concept that by small and simple things, great things can happen (a paraphrase of one of my favorite scriptures).

Thank you also for being willing to pass this challenge to others. I know you pass it on by forwarding, by retweeting, by posting on message boards and by Stumbling. I’m truly humbled by your willingness to help others – because that’s what it’s all about.

Thank you especially for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love

James

Learning by Example

2009-06-02T09:32:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses.

Some days, our weaknesses seem to outdo our strengths. On other days, the reverse is true.

One of my strengths is to be able to treat others with respect in many situations. Now, please don’t think I’m bragging here. It’s a learned strength. One learned from years of watching my mother and father deal with people in varied circumstances.

I learned how to be kind by watching and emulating their example.

For years before I really “got it”, though, one of my greatest weaknesses was that I could not seem to treat anyone with any measure of respect or kindness. For much of my adult life, I was a nasty, judgmental and downright rude person.

People would come to visit, and if I bothered to answer the door, I’d leave them sitting in the living room and go back to my bedroom until the awkwardness of the situation would be too much and they would finally leave.

I have many more stories like that, but I’d really prefer not to dwell on them (and I’d especially prefer you not remembering me like that!)

The point is, a weakness was turned into a strength by the patient teaching of my honorable parents. They acted, I learned.

We all have things we need to work on. We all have patient teachers around us who are willing to share what they know; who they are.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Think of someone in your circle of influence who has a strength you admire.

It could be a coworker.

It could be a family member.

It could be someone you attend school with or who rides in your carpool.

When you’ve thought of them, determine that beginning today, you will try to learn from their example.

Watch them as they do what it is you’d like to learn how to do.

Listen to them as they talk the talk and walk the walk.

It’s okay to take notes, and it’s certainly okay to approach them and tell them what you’re doing. Ask for their help. Ask them to teach you just one thing about how they do what they do.

Then, as you continue to watch them day by day, try doing the same things. You don’t have to be a carbon copy of the person. You can mold and fit and adjust so that it feels natural to you.

But do it.

Starting today.

Find someone who has a strength you want, and then begin to acquire that strength yourself.

Thank you so much for reading today’s challenge.

Thank you for being willing to learn something about serving others as well as yourself.

Thank you for sharing this post with others. Thank you for posting it on message boards, for forwarding it in emails, for retweeting and for Stumbling it.

I truly appreciate you for understanding that…

Service is The Action Form of Love

James

Caring Coupons

2009-06-01T10:05:00.001-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Most of us know someone who has been negatively affected by the recent downturn in the economy.

My neighbors, Dan and Barbara accepted his company’s offer to relocate him to Utah – several hundred miles away from where they call home. Once they got here, signed a yearlong lease and unpacked, his company laid him off. Now he’s stuck.

There are other stories. You know them. Your friends and family or even you may be living one of them.

What can we do to help?

The aim of this blog has always been to focus on small and simple acts of service. I don’t have the money to help Dan and Barbara move back to Alabama. But there are little things you and I can do to help folks survive and make their days go by just a little more smoothly.

As a child, my parents were always teaching us about serving others. One of the best examples I experienced was around Christmastime as a young boy. I am one of 8 siblings, so sometimes Christmas could get pretty pricey unless you got really creative.

At a Family Home Evening, our parents suggested we all make coupon books to give to one another. The booklets, designed by us, were meant to give little acts of service to each other rather than material gifts. The idea was to make Christmas last longer than a few cold December days.

One coupon in a book for my older brother might say that I would wash his car on any Saturday he chose. Another would tell mama that I would wash the dinner dishes without arguing whenever she wanted to redeem the coupon.

You get the idea.

Would this work to help someone you know who has fallen on hard times?

Yes.

So, here’s your challenge for today:

Decide on someone you know who is having a rough time. Design a simple coupon book specifically for things you know they need. Once you’ve made the book, take it to them with a freshly baked loaf of bread or maybe some cookies. Tell them how the book works. Let them know that they can call on you to help them.

Could you give them a coupon book to use when they really need help? Maybe it would help them reach out and ask for help when they would otherwise try to “get by” in silent pride.

Maybe you could offer to wash their car.

Maybe you could offer to mow their lawn?

How about a coupon to drive their kids somewhere? Or to drop off and pick up their dry cleaning? What about a coupon for a picnic lunch on a weekend they choose?

It doesn’t have to be complicated. Small and simple is the way to go.

You can be creative. You know your friends and family and neighbors and what their needs are.

Can you do this?

I believe you can.

I’m grateful for your generosity in wanting to help others. You, my friend, make a difference.

If you’ve read this far, I’m offering you a coupon, too. Here’s how it works. Simply go to the comments section of my blog and enter a comment. Tell me your first name and city and state or country, and tell me about your favorite service deed or act, whether you were the server or the served.

Make sure I have a way to contact you. I’d like to get in touch with you and ask you some questions. Then, with your permission, I’d like to blog about your experience.

Thanks for reading and taking today’s challenge! Thanks for being willing to help others. You matter by making others matter, too.

Truly, Service is the Action form of Love

James

Introducing Hospice of Peel

2009-05-19T09:59:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

This week, I’m blogging about Hospice of Peel in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada.

In researching Hospice of Peel, I’ve learned a lot of new things. I’ve only really had one encounter with a hospice organization, and that was when my mother passed away. (You can read about my experience in yesterday’s blog post found here: http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2009/05/mama-and-hospice-experience.html)

The most amazing thing I learned is that they provide their services for free. They do this because charging a fee would prevent many people from being able to take advantage of the care they offer.

Something else I learned is that they offer opportunities to volunteer. What a cool way to get involved and help out such a needed organization!

Here are some of the ways you can help:

- Do you have a talent for or experience in office work? If you can commit 4 hours a week (during regular office hours), Hospice of Peel is looking for volunteers to help their staff with data entry, filing, photocopying and other duties around the office. If you know Microsoft programs like Word, Excel or Access, they say that would be very beneficial.

- Would you rather be more of an occasional volunteer? You can still help. Hospice of Peel has a variety of events throughout the year. Can you help? Check out their Special Events page here: http://www.hospiceofpeel.com/2/funddev.php

My blog readers come from all over, so I realize many of you aren’t able to physically help Hospice of Peel by showing up at the door and volunteering. However, whether you live in Mississauga or not, there’s still something you can do.

Every organization needs financial help, and Hospice of Peel is no exception. The current financial crisis has hit every industry, every charity. Although they do get some financial help from the United Way of Peel and The Ministry of Health (which together cover approximately 50% of costs) the hospice still needs help to cover the remaining costs.

So, here’s your challenge today:

Find a way to help Hospice of Peel help their community. To do so, you can accept one or all of the following challenges:

Donate. Can you donate even $5.00? If so, please follow this link: http://www.hospiceofpeel.com/2/donations.php

Volunteer: Do you live in Mississagua? Can you spare 4 hours a week? Can you help out with special events? If so, please call Susan Endicott at (905) 712-8119 Ext. 224. She’s available Monday through Friday, from 8:30 AM to 4:30 PM. To contact her outside of those hours, or if you’d like more information, please email her at sendicott@hospiceofpeel.com

Share this blog post. Perhaps one of the greatest things about blogs, social media, email and all things Internet is the ability to share information far and wide in a very short amount of time. By linking to this post, forwarding the link in an email, retweeting it or posting it on your Facebook or other page, you can help me help Mickey help Hospice of Peel continue the great work they’re already doing. You – yes, you – can make a difference. If you can’t donate or volunteer, I encourage you to share this post.

Thank you for always remembering that…

Service is The Action Form of Love

James

Mama and the Hospice Experience

2009-05-18T09:37:00.003-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

This week, I’m blogging about something many of us may never encounter. Frankly, until fairly recently, I didn’t think I’d get close enough to this program to really get to understand it.

I thought I would be lucky or blessed if our paths never crossed.

This week, I’m blogging about hospice.

You see, until about nine months ago, I thought hospice was only for people with a terminal illness. I presumed their function was to ease the sufferer’s pain and gently guide them from the transition from mortality to eternity.

Sometime around summer of 2008, my parents told me that mama’s doctor had set her up on in-home hospice. My initial reaction was one of alarm.

Why did mom need hospice, I asked? She wasn’t exactly healthy, but she didn’t have a terminal illness, either. True, she had been nearly homebound for several years, but that was because of her fibromyalgia and post-polio syndrome and age. She didn’t have cancer, had never had a stroke or a heart attack. I was flabbergasted that Dr. Jack would assign a hospice team to her.

Rachel, the hospice nurse, was a very kind, compassionate young lady. She was always gentle with mama and very understanding of all the questions my dad tossed at her. The one thing all of us wanted to know was why?

Why hospice? Why now?

To their credit, the doctor and Rachel patiently explained to us that hospice is not just a program for those expected to die right away. It’s also to help ensure people like mama are in a safe, secure and healthy environment.

Hospice doesn’t just help people die; it also to help people live.

Besides Rachel coming over and helping dad manage mama’s daily medications, there were others who came and helped her in other ways. One sweet young lady came three times a week to help mama get in and out of the shower. Others cooked and planned meals and helped with her physical therapy exercises.

According to the medical professionals who cared for mom, there are two phases to hospice care. The care mama received last year was the first phase – the phase that helped both my parents have a better quality of life.

The other phase, the part where hospice helps patient and family prepare for, accept and endure the death of their loved one came later for us.

Sometime just before Thanksgiving, 2008, dad called me on the phone. While we chatted he mentioned that, due to the family members enduring various financial difficulties, he was thinking of cancelling the family Christmas party. I told him I would go along with whatever the rest of the family decided. Later, he told me that mama had gotten quite upset with him.

He said that she heard him talking to me and my other siblings about not having the party and she burst into tears. When he asked what the matter was, she told him we had to have the Christmas party because this would likely be her last with us.

Now, I don’t know about you, and I’ll not try and make you believe as I do. But, I believe mama knew. She knew her time was at hand to shuffle off her mortal coil and join her other family members on the other side of the veil.

Two months later, in January of this year, I had forgotten all about that conversation. I kept feeling my cellphone vibrate in its holster. Ordinarily, I don’t answer my cell at work but the vibrating was so persistent I finally took a break to see who was trying to reach me.

It was my family.

Three siblings had been trying to call and text message me all day. When I finally called them back, I learned that mama was in the hospital, and they suspected a heart attack. They had run some tests that night and would have the results in the morning.

I was told that she should be okay, she looked and felt better, but they were keeping her overnight, just in case.

By the next day, things had taken a dramatic turn. Although it was confirmed that mama hadn’t suffered a heart attack, she somehow aspirated and began having a very difficult time breathing.

She had gotten worse, and had been moved to the Intensive Care Unit.

That morning, I called out from work and my wife dropped me off at the hospital front door. I went up to the ICU waiting room and found my siblings and dad sitting in the chairs against the wall. As I walked in, I remember thinking how strange it was to see dad and the kids all in one place, but without mama at his side.

Dad warned me that if I was going to go in and see her to be prepared. She didn’t look much like herself. She had tubes and wires and a respirator.

There wasn’t much more he could have done to warn me, and still it wasn’t enough.

When I went back through the ICU doors, I first went into the wrong room. There was a woman laying in a coma, and I thought, dad was right. That didn’t look like mom at all. A kind nurse came and directed me to the right room, but the sight wasn’t really any better. On the bed was my mama, but she sure didn’t look like her. The lady in the next room actually resembled her more.

Throughout the days my family and I spent there, most of us had the feeling that mama wouldn’t be going home with dad from this hospital trip. Some of us talked about it, but others pushed it back into the recesses of our minds, not wanting to acknowledge it.

From the first morning I was there until the fateful afternoon a week later, mama had been through some ups and downs. Sometimes we took hope that there was something the medical staff could fix, and other times, we thought she would die before the end of the day.

Throughout it all, dad stayed and hoped against hope he would be driving his wife of 61 years back home to recuperate. Though her prognosis indicated it would have taken six or more months just to get her back to the point she was before going to the hospital, dad was willing to make the sacrifice to stay by her side and care for her, even ignoring his own needs in the process.

For most of the day, he would stand at her bedside, crouched over; holding her limp hand while she slept, and while she was awake.

I think of anyone who didn’t want to believe it was the end, it was dad.

A couple of days before she died, my wife and I talked about what mom wanted. Did she want to keep fighting a losing battle, or did she want to just let go and go Home? That day, I went in and had a talk with her.

“Mama,” I said, “do you want to keep fighting?”

She looked at me with such love, I’m choking on tears now just writing about it. She managed a weak smile, and held up a shaky finger and said, “Maybe one more day.”

The next day, she went to sleep, and the nursing staff and chaplain helped dad to know it was time to let her go. I can only imagine how hard that was for him.

We made the decision to pull mama’s life support, and, as family spokesman, it was my responsibility to deliver that directive to mom’s doctor. Though I don’t feel the same way now, at that very moment, when I had to pick up the phone and let the ICU staff know, I felt like an executioner.

It was probably the worst day in my life, and I imagine, the toughest day dad and my siblings had ever experienced. We were sore and fatigued, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. Though we had a full week for a wonderful family reunion, we all agree that it would have been much better under different circumstances.

And then, when our emotions just couldn’t get any rawer, Rachel showed up. While dad had told us he wanted to be with mama when she slipped away, he let Rachel take his place at her bedside.

We were all in the family waiting room when the life support was removed. We were spared having to watch her take her last breath and go Home.

Twenty or so minutes after the tubes, respirator and wires were removed, Rachel joined us in the waiting room. She was crying, and we knew.

She gently knelt down next to dad and told him mama was gone.

We all knew the news was coming. The day before she passed, my siblings and I were eating in the hospital cafeteria when my niece came down with a message from mom. She wanted us to finish our lunch, come back up to her room long enough to say a family prayer, and then she wanted us to close her door and let her go.

Still, knowing it was her time – knowing she was ready to go – it was a heartbreaking event. Not one of us wanted mama to leave, even though she’d spent the past several years in a damaged body with a slightly confused mind. On the other hand, we couldn’t bear the thought of her staying around just because we selfishly wanted our mom to be with us a little longer.

In retrospect, maybe mama knew something long before Thanksgiving. Maybe she told Dr. Jack something she didn’t share with us, and that’s why he ordered hospice. I really don’t have the answer, and it really doesn’t matter.

What does and did matter was that Rachel and the entire hospice team was there.

They were there to help mom and dad live, and they were there to help mom die. Most importantly, Rachel was there when we absolutely needed her the most.

All in all, mama’s death would have been so much harder to deal with if not for hospice.

So, your challenge today:

Find something you can do to help your local hospice team.

Can you donate money? They surely need and deserve every penny they can get.

Can you visit them and find out what they’re all about? Someday someone you love may need their services. I can tell you from our experience it was better to know what they were all about before the time came for mama to pass.

Do you know someone who works for a hospice? How about calling them and just telling them how brave you think they are for what they do?

I’ll leave it up to you and to your imagination to decide how you can serve.

Thank you for reading today’s post. Thank you for being willing to share it with others. Thank you for always remembering that…

Service is The Action Form of Love.

Nice Guys & Gals Finish First

2009-05-15T10:35:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

I’m starting a new feature on the Operation Kindness blog (see it here: http://bit.ly/GGJkA)

Every Friday, rather than a service challenge from me, I’m going to profile someone who is trying to make a difference in the world. Your challenge, then, would be to do what you can to emulate them – to try and follow their lead and example.

So, today’s challenge is even simpler than most – and here it is:

Who do you know that’s kind, gentle, treats others with respect and is trying to make a positive difference in the world? I’d like you to think of who would be the perfect candidate for a Operation Kindness profile post and email all the details you can.

Here’s what I’d like to know about them:

Who are they? I really only need their first name and city and state.

What are they doing? Are they involved in a fundraiser or a charity? In your mind, what makes them kind and gentle? What makes them a nice guy or nice gal? Tell me, and be as detailed as you can. Is there a link to what they’re doing? Please send that, too.

Why do you think they should be profiled?

Where are they making a difference? Is it in their community alone or is it statewide? Nationwide? Globally?

I’m anxious to hear from you! First profile will be Friday, May 22!

To nominate, please email jameswhofheins@yahoo.com

And thanks for reading today! You are a service rockstar!

Service is the Action Form of Love

James

Make 'em Smile (Part 2)

2009-05-14T09:41:00.001-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Yesterday’s post was likely a difficult challenge for many.

It can be found here: http://bit.ly/HZg51

The challenge yesterday was to smile in the face of bad news.

Did you take the challenge? How did you feel? At the end of the day, did you find your mood a little lighter than on other days?

In today’s challenge, I’d like to take that one step further. It’s another small and simple challenge, but again, it may carry with it a degree of unexpected difficulty. But, if I know you, you’ll carry it off with a great attitude and succeed.

So, without further ado, here’s today’s challenge:

Make someone else smile. Really focus on this today, more than you did yesterday.

In yesterday’s post, I talked about many of the negative issues facing us. I don’t think I need to go over them again. Go to any news site and you can see for yourself what our country and world are facing. If your entire intake is news, you’re not likely to smile, and it may be difficult to make others smile, too.

Some may think that making others smile is a complex process. It really isn’t. Think of what makes you smile.

Do you smile when someone talks about your children and their accomplishments?

Do you smile when someone gives you a sincere compliment?

Do you smile when others smile and tell you to have a good day?

What makes you smile?

When you take a quick inventory of the triggers that bring your mouth muscles into that gleaming grin, transfer it. Use it on someone else.

Now, I want to ask you to be careful. Remember, these challenges are intended to be taken seriously but in sincerity, as well. Don’t give a fake compliment. Don’t patronize someone for the sake of the challenge.

Be real.

Be you.

Think of what makes you smile and then try it on someone you meet who you know really would benefit from an honest-to-goodness smile.

I know you can do it. People who take my service challenges are generally happy. No, I haven’t taken a survey, and I can’t prove it statistically. But I know this. Serving others has a profound effect on both the server and the one being served. Very often, it’s the one who serves who gains the most. They are happier because they know they’ve made a difference in someone’s life.

Happier equals smiling.

That’s how I know this challenge shouldn’t be difficult for you. You serve, therefore you are happy. You’re happy, therefore you smile. You smile; therefore, others will smile with you. Misery may love company, but so does joy.

Okay, you’ve read the challenge. Now, as soon as you have a moment, get up and go make someone smile. It doesn’t have to be the first person you encounter. You’ll know who it is. They’ll need your smile.

And you’ll give it to them.

And they’ll be happier because you made them smile.

Thank you for reading today’s post. I appreciate you more than you know.

Thank you also for sharing my words with others. I hope you forwarding, retweeting or passing this along makes someone else smile.

Always remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Make 'em Smile!

2009-05-13T08:27:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Over the past year or so, we’ve had to endure bad (and sometimes worse) news.

We’ve seen the economy nosedive, taking jobs, homes and our retirement savings plans with it. Crime seems to always be above the fold, and the wars of the world sap our national energy and will.

We’ve also had a recent scare with a strain of flu never before seen. Regrettably, this has given some a feeling of superiority and they feel justified in spreading the fear of racism. Others have used the scare in unethical marketing practices. They seem to want to prosper on the fear they can create in others.

At times like this, it’s easy for any of us to feel down, if not downright depressed. Singly, there’s really not much we can do to reverse the negative trends we seem to have inherited. Collectively, however, there are things we can do to help each other through it.

One of the primary things we can do is to uplift one another. When someone is having a bad day, feeling the very natural doubts that come with overwhelmingly bad news, we can take on the responsibility to help them.

So, how can you help?

Your challenge today is likely one of the simplest I’ve ever posted.

Smile.

That’s it.

When you’re faced with a problem, smile.

When a coworker or fellow student or even your spouse brings you bad news…

Smile.

Smile when a frown or even tears are more appropriate. Smile when others want to bring you down with the latest headlines. Smile when your boss gives you more work. Smile when you get a bill in the mail.

Just…

Smile.

That’s all there is to it.

I’m well aware that though this is simple, it’s not exactly easy.

Our very natural, human reaction to bad news is to curse and shake our fists at the heavens.

But today – just for today, I’m asking you to smile. Even if you don’t feel like it.

How is this related to serving others?

Our attitudes and emotions can be very infectious. If you smile in the face of stress, tension and negativity, chances are, those around you will feel a little lighter. They may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you, your smiling today will have an effect on somebody.

And even if you can help just one person you with your smile, isn’t it worth the effort?

Thank you for taking time to come and read my blog today. I realize time is a precious commodity. Knowing you take time out of your day to come here, well, that makes me smile.

Thank you also for taking the time to pass the word. I appreciate knowing that you forward, repost, tweet, digg and stumble my words. I love the fact that you’re willing to share.

And, I’m especially grateful you remember that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Dreamkillers

2009-05-12T09:04:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Have you ever noticed that some people seem to thrive on raining on parades? No matter how good an idea someone has, they’re the ones who feel it’s their obligation to “bring a dose of reality” and count off all the reasons why something can’t be done.

Like predators in the wild, they seem to be able to sniff out someone with a dream or a goal, and when their prey is most vulnerable, they go in for the kill. No earnest hope for success, big or small, escapes their notice or their death grip.

We all know predators like this.

They’re in the workplace. They’re in our schools. They may even be in our home.

What can we do about them?

That’s today’s challenge.

Today, find someone with a dream, an innovative idea or a goal. Help protect them from the dream killer.

Encourage them.

Cheer them on.

Tell them reasons why they can do something, even in the face of someone telling them why they cannot.

It doesn’t take much to help a dreamer, but your encouragement may have to be doled out in proportion to the discouragement they’re also receiving.

This is a simple challenge. It will be easy for you to do. How do I know?

Because you have dreams, too. You know what it feels like to be told it can’t be done. You understand the pressure, the heartache and the hopeless feeling of a broken dream.

So, go.

Tell them it can be done.

Tell them you believe in them.

And then, watch them do it.

Thank you for reading today’s challenge. Thank you for being willing to share it with others, especially the dreamers and believers you know.

And thank you for remembering that Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Help the Vulnerable

2009-05-11T09:32:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Most of us are aware of the vulnerable among us. We know of those who have needs greater than our own, and we know that sometimes, those needs go unmet.

We work and live and play among the disabled, the poverty-stricken and the very old and very young. We see them in our neighborhoods, at the store, at school and at work. Some of them are in our social circles and some are not.

Regardless of our actual interaction with the less-advantaged, we know who they are and we often know their needs.

Can you help them?

That’s today’s challenge.

Find someone who is vulnerable. Talk to them. Assess their needs. Find out how they’re getting along. If they have a need that is going unfilled, see if you can fill it for them.

Don’t be pushy or make them feel like a service project. Be as private as you can. Be as respectful of their dignity as you would want someone to be of yours.

If you can fulfill the need by yourself, by all means, do it with their permission. If it’s something greater than you alone can do, ask their permission to involve someone else.

If permission is granted, do the best that you can. Do it with love and caring and understanding that many of us don’t like others helping us when we can do it ourselves.

Complete the task and see if there is anything else you may do for them.

And then, feel good about what you’ve done. Feel the joy and peace that comes with serving someone else.

Thank you for taking today’s challenge. I know some are easier than others, and this one just may fit into the difficult category for you.

Thank you also for being willing to pass it on. I appreciate you.

Remember always, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Mama's Day

2009-05-08T15:16:00.001-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Mother’s Day – what does it mean to you?

Regardless of how we currently interact with our mothers, the fact remains that we all have one. Due to life’s disappointments, sometimes our relationships with our mothers degrade. It happens.

Even if that’s happened in your life, today’s challenge applies to you and to all of us.

Thank your mom today.

If you’re like me, and your mama has passed on, find another mother you cherish, love and respect and thank her.

Simple.

You can do it!

Thanks for taking time to read today’s post. I appreciate you!

Thanks also for being willing to share this with others.

Service is the Action Form of Love

James

What's The Difference?

2009-05-07T09:35:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

Today’s challenge is pretty simple in concept, but even for me, more difficult to successfully achieve. It may take more than a few tries to get it down, and we may not even get it right today.

In the past, I’ve blogged about including others, being kind and judging people on their intentions rather than on their actions alone. Today, I’m going to sort of combine these three.

As you go throughout your day, I’d like you to take a look around. Really take inventory of the kinds of people you find yourself with on a day to day basis. When I do this, I see all sorts of people. I see people of different religions, different nationalities, different sizes and… well… a lot of different differences. In other words, I see a lot of people who are not just like me.

I need to make a confession here.

It wasn’t many years ago that I was an extremely judgmental person. If I saw someone who was overweight or slow or anything else I then considered to be less than perfect, I mocked them. I didn’t do it to their face, but I sure did it behind their back or in my mind. I wasn’t a very nice person.

How I got from being that mean-spirited jerk to who I’m trying to be today (I’m not perfect – but I’m still trying to improve), is a long story. If you really want to know, hang on for another year or two and you can read the book.

Since then, I’ve become rather close to some of the people I would earlier have mocked. And you know what I’ve learned? Once I let my guard down and stopped seeing them as failures according to Madison Avenue standards, I found them to be more like me than I would have ever wanted to allow before.

People are people. God’s children are God’s children.

It doesn’t matter if a person is Democrat, Republican or somewhere in between. It doesn’t matter if they are straight, gay, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, short, tall, fat or lean or any one of a dozen other labels we can place on them.

People are people.

God’s children are God’s children.

Now I can look back and ask myself, “What right did you have to judge these people?”

And the answer I would now give:

“Absolutely none.”

What about you?

Is there something different about you that makes others uncomfortable or uneasy?

How about someone in your family? Is there something about them that makes other people mock and ridicule?

It’s easy to say we don’t care how others treat us, but what about your family? What if your mother or your sister or your father or brother had a quirk that made mocking easy?

See, suddenly its not about you – it’s about someone you love. And watching someone close to you have to endure the meanness of others, well, that’s just crossing the line, isn’t it?

So, bearing that in mind, here’s today’s challenge:

Get to know someone who has a difference you find difficult to accept.

You don’t have to talk about your differences (in fact, sometimes, that’s not the best thing to do when you’re trying to build a bridge). You can start by having a very short, casual conversation and see where it goes from there. You’re not being asked to embrace everything about them, but try your very hardest to accept them as a person – as a fellow son or daughter of God.

I’m guessing, from my own experience here, that if you will try this challenge, regardless of how the other person responds, you will come away from the experience a better person. You will want to try harder to be more open to more people.

You will feel more confident about yourself.

And, if you continue trying to reach out to others, you will also begin to feel your heart softening – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Thank you for taking the time to read and accept today’s challenge. I appreciate you, for your strengths, for your weaknesses; for your similarities and for your differences.

Please feel free to pass this on.

And, remember, Service is the Action Form of Love

James

5 Fast Ways to Give Back

2009-05-06T08:08:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

We’ve all been given much.

Whether we’re wealthy or poor, enjoy good health or fight illness and disease, almost every one of us has something to be grateful for.

Whatever problems life may hand us, we can be reasonably sure that we’ve been given blessings, too.

So, how can we give back?

Here are 5 small and simple ways you and I can give back to our giving world today – its today’s service challenge:

1. Gather 5 books you no longer read and donate them to a woman’s shelter, a homeless shelter, hospital or even to your local library.
2. Pick up a piece of trash and drop it into a trash receptacle. Of course, you don’t have to stop at one piece. If you see more litter, pick it up and dispose of it.
3. Do you have a board game your family doesn’t use anymore? How about taking it to your children’s hospital and donating it to them?
4. If you see a member of the military, thank them for their service. Whether or not you agree with the wars going on in the world, these brave men and women are still willing to lay down their life and preserve yours.
5. If you happen to see a firefighter or police officer, today, remember that these first responders are also willing to put their lives in danger to save your life and property. Take the time to say “thank you.”

What do you think? Can you do something to give back to your community today? I think you can, and I’m sure you will. That’s the kind of person you are. You realize that, despite your challenges and hardships, you’ve been given much and you too must give.

Thank you for taking today’s challenge. Thanks also for being willing to pass it on. I appreciate you for digging, stumbling, forwarding and retweeting.

I appreciate you!

Together we’re making a difference as we remember…

Service is the Action Form of Love.

Four Simple Ways to Uplift

2009-05-04T09:52:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

For the past several months, we’ve been inundated with bad news. The economy has gone sour, taking with it the housing market, small businesses, and in too many cases, even the security of our jobs.

There used to be a time when a dedicated worker could work at the same company for decades and live in the same home for years.

There was a time when the mom and pop store on the corner was a neighborhood fixture that would always be there like a comforting friend and landmark.

This was a time of stability and assurance that all was well with the world.

Sadly, times have changed. There are events happening today that can really make us lose hope.

Is there anything we can do to make a difference in this world filled with bad news and ever-constant negativity?

Are there small and simple things you and I can do to help spread positivity and love?

I believe there are.

Here are 4 positive messages you can pass along to others in your path today. Your words may be different than mine, but the message can be the same:

1. You matter to me.
2. I believe in you.
3. You are a beautiful person,
4. Forgive yourself, and move on.

There will always be naysayers who find great pleasure in tearing others down. If they could get paid for being unkind, they would be rolling in the money. You know this, and I know this. They will always be with us, trying to undo the good we manage to accomplish. We may never be able to completely escape the negativity of the world, because it’s just so persuasive.

But we can make a difference, and it requires surprisingly little effort.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Look at the four statements above. Think of someone in your life who needs to hear it, and then, tell them. It’s that simple.

It can be someone you work with, or someone you go to school with.

It can be the person who serves your breakfast or coffee in the morning.

It can be a fellow passenger on the train or bus or plane.

It can be someone in your family or even a family friend.

All you need to do is look around you at the people you see every day. You know someone who needs picking up.

Make a difference in their lives. Assure them all is not lost, despite the bleak outcome they may see in their world.

Can you do this?

Of course you can.

I know this because you come here to find ways to serve others in small and simple ways. I appreciate you for that. You matter. You’re the one who goes out every day and makes a positive difference in the world.

You are the one who serves and is willing to pass on my service challenges.

And you’re the one who remembers that…

Service is the Action Form of Love

James Hofheins

H1N1 - 3 Ways to help

2009-05-01T13:26:00.001-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

It’s Friday.

Many of us are worn out - not just from working, but also from the spreading news of the current H1N1 Flu scare (I’ve stopped calling it that “other” flu name because eating pork is not dangerous, according to the CDC).
So, since we all need a break, I’ve decided to make this a very small and simple challenge:

In light of the H1N1 Flu scare, here are three simple things you can do to serve others:

1. Don’t panic. Like a lit match in the dry weeds, panic spreads pretty quickly. Don’t post or spread rumors or theories. Stick with the facts.
2. Be realistic. I’ve heard a lot of people blaming everything from the government of the United States to illegal aliens for the current situation. It’s important to note that it would be wholly counterproductive for the US Government to do such a thing, and nearly every case of the flu I’ve heard of outside of Mexico was spread by non Mexicans who went there and brought it back.
3. Be kind. You’re going to encounter innuendo, rumors and divisiveness. Don’t ague. Walk away. Let it go (as hard as that is).

That’s it! Three simple ways to deal with the situation while helping others.

Thank you so much for being willing to read my blog post today. Go make a difference, and pass this on if you find it helpful.

And remember, Service is the Action Form of Love

James

Alyssa Milano, meet Laura

2009-04-30T15:23:00.003-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

I’d like to share a success story. Admittedly, it’s an old story, but sometimes a story needs to “age” in order to appreciate its full value.

18 years ago, a baby was born to a Utah couple. Even before birth, there were indications that things were not going well. There were complications. The baby had somehow developed a condition called hypoplastic left heart syndrome.

When little Laura was born, the staff at the hospital advised her parents to take her home and love her as much as they could, because her life-expectancy was days or weeks, rather than years.

Laura’s parents did take her home, but they took her home to live, not to die.

They moved to California to be near Loma Linda University Hospital, who was then pioneering infant heart transplants. Maybe you’ve heard about this – it was in the news in the late 1980’s.

They got Laura on a waiting list, and within weeks, they were told to rush to the hospital – a donor heart had been secured. In short order, Laura had someone else’s gently used heart beating inside her tiny chest.

Day after day, mom and dad and the hospital staff monitored little Laura, watching for signs that her immune system was rejecting its new resident heart. Day after day, they prayed, worried and wondered if the next news story about a baby dying after transplant would feature Laura as the casualty.

Laura’s grandmother recorded several instances in her journal of scares the family had. Nobody really knew whether these oft occurring incidents meant the end, or even the beginning of the end.

Laura is now a healthy high-school graduate, looking forward to college, marriage and life. So, this is a success story for her, to be sure, but it’s also a success story of a system put in place to help people, babies and adults, like Laura.

This is also a success story of organ donation.

Without a family’s willingness, even at a very painful time of their own child’s death, to allow doctors to harvest organs, Laura would certainly have died before she emerged from toddlerhood.

Are you an organ donor?

I am.

Your neighbor is.

Your coworker is.

Even celebrities realize the importance of organ donation.

Alyssa Milano revealed that she is an organ donor as well as a bone-marrow donor. Though she hasn’t been asked to donate her bone marrow, and, obviously no other organs, the point is, she’s willing.

This is the young lady who involves her fans on twitter (and perhaps other social media) and is very open about her willingness to help out. In fact, just today, she was instrumental in trying to help find a home for a pet that faced imminent euthanasia. Turns out she’s a kind soul who is a great model for serving others. Kudos to her and the fans who help her serve.

So, here’s your challenge today. I’m not going to ask you to run out and sign up to be an organ donor. But, I am going to ask you to seriously consider it. Talk it over with your family. Discuss the ramifications. Make sure they understand your wishes. Ask more than one family member or close friend to speak up for you when it’s your time to put off this mortal coil. Put your wishes in writing. Don’t make your family second-guess their decision when the time comes. The decision has to be made quickly, and there may not be time for discussion.

There it is. One more small and simple way to serve others – that has a huge payoff to the recipient of your selflessness.

Thank you for reading and accepting today’s challenge. I know this is a really tough decision for some to make. Think it over, and then make your decision.

(In the interest of full disclosure, Alyssa Milano does not sponsor nor endorse my blog - and Laura is related to me)

Please feel free to share this with anyone you like. You may email it, forward it, post it, tweet it, stumble and digg it. Together we’re getting out the word that…

Service is The Action Form of Love

James

Easy as 1-2-3

2009-04-29T08:18:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service is The Action Form of Love Blog

If you’ve read my past postings (see below and to your right for the links), you know that the kind of service I advocate is small and simple. A small and simple act of service (or random act of kindness, if you will) can make a big impact in someone’s day and life.
So, today, I want to just highlight three things you can do to serve today.

Ready?

Here’s your challenge (see if you can do all three, but don’t feel bad if you can’t):

1. Offer to let someone vent to you. Don’t try to solve it, just listen with empathy.

2. Call someone in your family or circle of friends and say “I love you”.

3. Send an email or written note that just says “Thank you”.

That’s all there is to it!

I know you can do it. How do I know? Because I know you care.

Thanks for reading today’s post. Thanks for being willing to accept the challenge and to pass it on. Thanks for being you!

And, thanks for remembering that Service is The Action Form of Love.

James

Reminder - Service Saturday Approaches

2009-04-28T18:01:00.002-06:00

Welcome back to Service – The Action Form of Love

Just a reminder that our next Service Saturday is coming up on May 9th.

Remember also that service should be done without self-promotion (leave your business cards in your wallet, purse or car), and that you can find small and simple but meaningful ways to serve.

Open doors.

Smile.

Mow someone’s lawn.

Pick up trash at the beach.

Help a neighbor with groceries.

You get the idea.

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to pass it on, and remember…

Service is the Action Form of Love

James

Don't Turn Away

2009-04-28T14:30:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love.

Have you ever heard the annual Spring warnings about the rivers and streams that come down from the mountain?

Every Spring, the local authorities here in Salt Lake County remind us that as the snowpack melts, the water filters into creeks and rivers that are normally low during the winter. These waterways often border or run through our parks where families are prone to pack a picnic lunch and go play as soon as the sun comes out for good.

To a child, these rivers look fun and adventurous. But the water is frigid and the current is swift. Hefty adults have even had their feet knocked out from under them as soon as the step into the icy water. You can imagine a small child wouldn’t stand a chance.

Now, let’s pretend that you’re somewhere downstream, and you see someone being carried away by the current. What would you do?

Would you walk away, ignoring the cries for help? Would you pretend you didn’t hear the thrashing in the water? Would you jump in or call for professional help?

If I know you, you would do one of the latter two things. You would either call for help or you would do all you could to save them yourself. That’s just the kind of person you are.

You care.

So, for today’s service challenge, I’d like to ask you to think of the people you’re with every day. Your family, your coworkers, fellow students and friends. Do you know any of them who are in danger of falling into a river? Do you know someone who is drowning in extra work, health issues, financial problems or maybe addiction?

Identify them, and then do your best to avoid turning away.

Sometimes we don’t want to get involved. That’s a very natural, human feeling. It may be part of the survival of the fittest idea, or it may be that we’re trained that it’s every man and woman for themselves. Sometimes, we even rationalize our unwillingness to get involved by saying to ourselves, “They did it to themselves. They got into the water, they can get themselves out.”

When you’re tempted to think that, consider this –

What if it was your mother or your brother or daughter. Even if they willingly (though innocently) stepped into the swift current, wouldn’t you help them then? What if you weren’t there and couldn’t help? Wouldn’t you want someone else to step into the water or get professional help for them?

I think you would.

So, today, identify someone who is in over their head and be willing to help them. Whether that means you step in and help on your own, or get professionals to help them, just do it.

I know you can, and I know you will, because – well – that’s just the kind of caring person you are.

Thank you for coming to my blog and reading today. Thank you for being willing to read, act and pass on today’s challenge. I really like that about you.

Always remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Caring

2009-04-27T10:36:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love.

Here we are on another Monday.

Many of us spend the morning rushing to get ready for school or work or to stay home and take care of the home. We have doctor appointments, haircuts, got to get the kids off to school.

In short, Monday is often our most hectic day of the week.

So, since neither of us has a lot of time to spend here, I’m putting today’s small and simple service challenge right here:

Today, care.

We ask so much from so many. Even our prayers can sound like a pizza delivery order, telling God what we want and need, but not bothering to thank Him for all He’s done. We just place the order, and hang up the phone and… wait.

Today, find someone you ask a lot of. It could be an assistant, it could be someone in your family or religious organization.

Then, when you’ve identified them, shock them.

Ask what you can do for them. Wait for their response. Let them know you’re serious.

And then, of course, help them.

That’s all there is to it!

Please feel free to share this however you can.

Oh, and if there’s something I can do for you, please let me know.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Follow Friday

2009-04-24T17:20:00.004-06:00

Welcome to Service – The Action Form of Love

If you tweet – that is – if you are a member of the phenomenally popular social media community, Twitter, you probably know today is something called “Follow Friday”.

If you’re not a member of Twitter, Follow Friday is where you recommend one of your followers to the rest of your followers. This is part of the incredible networking aspect of Twitter and can really help people of similar interests find each other.

A typical Follow Friday introduces the person you want to shout out by saying something like, “@username is worth following because she posts great news articles” and then is followed with the hashtag #followfriday.

So, today’s challenge is, as always, small and simple.

While many of us recommend the people with hundreds or thousands of followers, find one or two of your followers who have less – and then recommend them. By doing this, you’re creating a stronger bond and helping out the little guy.

Thanks for reading today’s challenge! Feel free to retweet, stumble, dig and pass on the challenge.

And remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Best of Service - The Action Form of Love

2009-04-23T16:40:00.001-06:00

It’s Thursday – one more day til we can relax and enjoy the weekend.

I have a lot of new people reading my blog now, so I thought that today, instead of posting a service challenge, I would link to some of my old favorites – a “Best of Service – The Action Form of Love” if you will.

So, without further introduction, here are my favorite five:

Judging (Posted December 1, 2008) http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2008/12/judging.html

Lambs Don’t Roar (Posted November 19, 2008) http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2008/11/lambs-dont-roar.html

Pro Bono (Posted November 12, 2008) http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2008/11/pro-bono.html

Doing the Math (Posted October 30, 2008) http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2008/10/doing-math.html

I hope you enjoy these favorite five posts –

Please feel free to stumble, retweet, forward or email any of the service challenges.

I appreciate you!

James

Mid Week Service Challenge

2009-04-22T08:19:00.003-06:00

Welcome to Service - The Action Form of Love

It’s Wednesday. For many of us, it’s hump day, the middle of the week. We’ve put Monday and Tuesday behind us and have only Thursday and Friday before we can get away from our jobs and spend some quality time with family and friends.

We can look forward to the weekend with the assurance of having an enjoyable time with our loved ones, relax, and recharge our batteries for the next work week.
For others, however, the coming weekend means something entirely different.

For many, the weekend means two days of being alone, with nobody to socialize with. For them, it’s just two empty days full of wishes for friends and family to spend time with.

Can you imagine what that’s like?

I can.

Before I found my lovely wife, I was a real loner. The weekend for me meant taking the train downtown an sitting by myself in a huge booth at the coffee shop. I’d often bring a book to escape from my dull life and vicariously live through the characters of whichever novel I happened to be reading at the time.

Now, I’m the first to admit that sometimes, this sort of weekend would be a dream come true. We have responsibilities to family and faith on the weekends. We have to take care of the home, get the shopping done, and all else that goes into preparing for another week ahead.

But I think if we really took a good look at the weekend-in-café scenario, we’d have to admit that such a break from our responsibilities would get old after awhile. We might truly enjoy taking that break for one weekend, but to be honest, it would get old quickly if we did it week after week after week.

It would especially get boring and dull if our only option was to do that or stay home and stare at the walls or the computer monitor.

Loneliness is such a terrible feeling.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Find someone who has no close family or friends, get to know them, and invite them to do something with you this weekend.

You might invite them to lunch. You could ask them if they’d like to join you for worship services. You could even get several of you together and go bowling, golfing, or even a picnic in the park.

You’re creative. You know what you like to do. But, be sure and ask for their input, too. The idea here isn’t to force someone into a situation where they’d rather go home and be alone than to spend the day doing something you enjoy but they don’t.

Ask what sports they’re into, what types of movies they like. Try and get them to open up to you and follow their lead.

And, if you don’t have money to spend, there are lots of free or very inexpensive things you can do together.

You can invite them to your home for a Saturday brunch or a Sunday dinner. You can take a drive or ride a train or a walk along a river or beach.

Your options are limited only by your sense of creativity and your common interests.

And, who knows? Maybe you’ll both get along so well that you will want to spend more time with each other.

So, you know the challenge, now go and do.

I so appreciate your willingness to read today’s challenge and, even more so, your willingness to help someone feel wanted, needed, cared for and loved. We all know deep down inside that we would be miserable without a friend.

Go be a friend.

Please feel free to share this with someone else today. Feel free to Stumble it, Digg it, tweet it and post it on your Facebook or MySpace or other networking page. Share this with your Rabbi, your minister your coworker, your sister. Email it to your mom, to your best friend or to your brother.

You’re getting the word out, and people are starting to notice that Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Sharing Day

2009-04-21T10:55:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Tuesday!

Today I’d like to talk about sharing.

Many of us remember in our younger school days a time when we were encouraged to bring some object, person or experience and tell our classmates about them. In my elementary school, this time was called “Show and Tell”. Elsewhere, it’s also known as “Sharing Time”.

As grown-ups, depending on our age and life circumstances, we’ve accumulated experiences, talents and skills that have helped us along the paths we’ve later chosen to take. Nobody’s set of skills is exactly the same as anyone else’s. This makes us a very diverse group of people, and is one reason why one human is not “better” than another human.

I’ve often admired those who can play the violin or piano and share those talents with the world. I’ve never taken music lessons, and so my attempt at performing in an orchestra would only serve to draw unwanted attention to myself. The notes I play would certainly be off-key and very distracting to both the other members of the orchestra and the audience.

But, because I can’t play the violin or piano, does that make me a lesser person than those who can?

Not at all.

It just means I haven’t the talent to play beautiful music like those who have worked so hard to develop their musical talent.

I can and do write – it’s a skill and talent that I’ve worked hard to develop. I have been given a talent, and have worked to grow it. At this point of my life, I can turn abstract ideas into strings of words that make sense.

But again, that doesn’t mean I’m better than someone who cannot write, and certainly I am no better than someone who is struggling as a beginning writer. It just means I have a different talent, or I’ve taken the time to develop the skill.

So it is with you.

You have talents and skills that others around you don’t have. You’re not better than anyone else because of it. You also shouldn’t feel inferior because others have talents and skills you don’t have. It would be a very boring world if we all had the same skills and talents as everyone else.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Today, seek out someone who wants to learn what you do. Remember, this is all about serving others without fanfare or self-promotion. Just for today, share your talents and skills willingly.

Find someone who wants to learn what you already know and teach them something. It could be a very simple lesson, or it could be more detailed. I’ll leave that up to you.

Are you in a position with your work or avocation where you come into contact with interns or apprentices? Are you a student who “gets it” and knows of someone in your class who doesn’t?

Are you a fantastic cook who knows of someone who seems to burn water but wants to better their cooking skills?

I think you get the idea.

Share what you know.

Be willing to patiently teach someone what you already know and do well.

Don’t do it because you want to further your own aspirations – do it solely because you want to further theirs.

And then, bask in the joy of watching them do something better. Allow yourself to be caught up in the joy of watching them “get it” and improve.

Thank you for letting me share with you. You’ve come back to this blog over and over and over again, and I appreciate that. You’re allowing me the joy of teaching you how to share, how to improve and how to serve others in small and simple ways.

And for that, I appreciate you.

More than you know.

Please feel free to share this with anyone you like. Feel free to Digg this, Stumble it, forward it in an email (please don’t spam others – that’s not sharing – that’s encumbering).

And most of all, remember that Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Be There

2009-04-20T09:07:00.002-06:00

The other morning, my wife and I were taking a walk and watched as a woman burst out of her apartment, ran to her car, and sped off. She was in her work uniform, so we could only surmise that she was running late for work.

Watching this event prompted some questions and thoughts in my mind.
Could she not get up on time that morning?

Did she not have time to prepare to be where she knew she needed to be when she needed to be there?

And, thinking about all of us, are we willing to only run when we’re late for a boss who pays us and has the power to discipline us and terminate our employment if we’re late?

What about our other relationships? What do we do when we’re running late for a family event, a date, or even just to meet someone we’d told we’d meet? Do we run then, or do we take our time because we know they can’t really “fire” us?

And, what about when someone needs our help?

How fast are we to act when we see a friend, a family member or even a stranger who needs our help? Do we run to help them?

Sometimes, I’m afraid, we’re only willing to run to work so we don’t get docked for tardiness, but we take a less urgent attitude towards others we know or who we know are in trouble.

Please don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying you shouldn’t take a lackadaisical attitude toward your job or toward your boss. Whether on salary or getting paid hourly or even as a consultant, you made a commitment to those who employ you. They certainly deserve your promptness and timeliness. You should be there when you agreed you’d be there. Nothing I say should give you any ideas to the contrary.

So, here’s your challenge for today:

If you’ve made a commitment to be somewhere today at a certain time, be there.

Do all you can to prepare all you need ahead of time so you don’t get caught unprepared at the last minute. Do what you need to do before you need to get out the door.

Also, if you see someone who needs your help, try and treat the situation as you would if they were your boss and you are expected to be on time. Rush to them, assess their needs and help them any way you can.

Helping and serving others sometimes requires our speed and efficiency. It us up to us, those who have the resources to give and to help, to reach out to those who do not.

Can you start today, right now, and make a commitment to all in your circle of friends, family, coworkers and associates to value their time as much as you value your own?

Can you remember today that someone needs your help, and they may need it quickly?

Can you respond to the needs of others with the same sense of urgency that those in need feel about the situation?

I know you can.

I know you will.

Why?

Because that’s the kind of person you are. You care about others. You value your time and you are learning to value the time of others.

Thank you so much for reading today’s challenge. I appreciate you, and I really do appreciate the few minutes you take out of your day to come to my blog an learn how to serve others.

Please feel free to share this post. You may Digg it, Stumble it, forward it in an email, retweet it or repost it on your Facebook wall.

You are awesome – you understand that Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Service Saturday

2009-04-18T14:13:00.000-06:00

Its Saturday and today's challenge really is small and simple.

Log off, get out and spend 30 minutes just helping one person.

It doesn't really matter what you do or who you serve today - but do it.

Thank you, as always, for being willing to read my blog and serving others.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love. Pass it on.

James

jameswhofheins@yahoo.com

Help Me Serve for Oprah

2009-04-17T15:24:00.003-06:00

Help me with a great way to serve others - and hopefully inspire others to do the same.

Here’s how it works.

If you can help me get Oprah to reply to me via Twitter, I will donate 100 hours to the cause of her choice, and, I will pick one retweeter and donate 50 hours to the cause of your choice.

Feeling lucky?

Help me!

Just tweet this:

Service! @jwhof will donate 100 service hrs to cause of her choice & 50 hrs for one lucky twit! PLS RT #safol

That’s all there is to it. Help me spread the word that service to others is a cause worthy of our attention.

And remember, Service is the Action Form of Love

James

Reconnecting Live

2009-04-15T12:09:00.001-06:00

I read an eye opening article in USA Today, today.

The article, found here: http://bit.ly/75p4P talked about the impact that social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) is having on real live, face-to-face relationships.

One jolting pullout from the article really got me thinking and spawned the idea for today’s challenge.

Here’s the pullout:

For some highly connected people, especially young adults who have grown up with cellphones, their superficial online connections increasingly are their only connections.

And here’s today’s challenge:

Today, find ways to connect with your loved ones. I mean, really connect with them. As in facing them, looking them in the eye. As in turning off twitter, logging off Facebook and Myspace and YouTube.

Talk to them. Embrace them. Interact with them. Listen to them.

Love them.

Relate to them.

Spend time with them. Quality time as well as length of time is really important, especially in this day of short text messages and twitter updates.

Ask them questions. Answer their questions. Break bread with them and shower them with your real personality.

And then, avoid the temptation to run to your favorite site and tell us all about it.

Thanks so much for being willing to read and accept today’s challenge. I appreciate you! I’d love your feedback, but I may not reply for some time.

I’m going to focus on my in-person relationships today.

In the meantime, remember – Service is the Action Form of Love

James

Life in the Slow Lane

2009-04-14T09:43:00.001-06:00

Welcome to Tuesday!

Many of the service ideas I blog about are from personal experience or from the experiences of those I’m close to – like family members.

Today’s is sort of a hybrid – it comes from my own recent experience as well as from experiences I saw from my dear late mama.

In her later years, mama couldn’t get around very easily. In medical terms, she was barely ambulatory. She required the use of a walker just to get from her bed to the living room and back. Stairs were usually not an option. If you were to be following behind her, you’d notice just how slowly and carefully she had to go just to get to her destination in safety.

Recently, I learned that the source of my tailbone and lower back pain is a bulging disc (between L4 and L5, according to the MRI). Because of this, I have had to slow down quite a bit. I’m not to the point where I need a walker, but I sure don’t move now like I did when I was a teenager! Sometimes, it just hurts to move about.

Why am I telling you this? Because I’ve seen the looks, heard the comments of people who get backed up behind me in public places. From what I see and hear from them, it appears they think I’m just old or that I’m some sort of tourist who would rather dilly dally than get moving and get out of the way.

I try not to let it hurt my feelings, and for the most part, I have thick skin.

But others don’t.

People who are in a hurry often don’t realize their comments or impatient glances are heard or seen. We live in a world where we post everything about our lives and so, I suppose, we think that real-time communication should be accepted as much as a Facebook status update or a Twitter tweet.

Unfortunately, in real life, in face-to-face communication, our words and actions aren’t always taken as a mere update about our lives. Our words and actions can really hurt people’s feelings. Just as troubling, an inadvertent shove to get someone moving faster could cause real and serious pain and injury, too.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Be patient with someone today.

If you see someone moving too slowly for your tastes, realize there may be a valid reason for it. Be patient, wait for an opportunity to move ahead of them when its safe, and excuse yourself as you pass.

Better yet, if you have an extra moment or two, smile and ask if there’s anything you can do to help them.

Are they carrying something that looks heavy?

Are they struggling with a heavy door?

Why not take a few moments out of your busy day and open it for them? Why not ask if they need help carrying their heavy load?

One of the reasons we’re here on our mortal missions, I believe, is to help one another with the burdens we carry. You have an opportunity to do that today and to make a real and positive difference in the life of someone who is struggling.

Can you do it?

Of course you can.

Will you do it?

I hope you will.

Be patient today.

Be kind always.

Thank you for reading today’s post. As always, I encourage you to share this in whatever manner you can. Feel free to forward it, retweet it, post it on Facebook, Digg it, Stumble it… just get the word out.

You can make a difference my friend.

And, as always, please remember that Service is the Action form of Love.

James

Odd Man In

2009-04-09T17:03:00.004-06:00

Welcome to Thursday.

I’ve been reading some of mama’s old journals, and one or two of them are from when I was a teenager in high school. Thinking back to that time of my life, I can’t believe how much angst I seemed to have. But, now that I have a daughter who is 15, I remember that those feelings of isolation, depression and alienation from the “cool kids” was a very real feeling to me.

Fortunately, I’ve been able to grow out of those feelings and I don’t care nearly as much about what people think of me. Don’t get me wrong, I still have feelings and I love to be included. I think we all feel a little slighted when we’re not included, but for most of us, I think, the feelings aren’t as intense as they might have been when we were teenagers.

Still, no matter how old I get, I still cringe when I see someone at any age being treated as an outsider by those who still think of themselves as the “cool kids”. I really feel for them. Unfortunately, there are some adults who don’t seem to have been able to grow out of the cliquish stage. It’s something we see a lot of, if we just open our eyes and look around.

We see co-workers passing out party invitations to everyone they like, but ignoring others. We see people backbiting and gossiping about the “strange one” behind their back. We see everyone in the group invited out to lunch, except for one or two that just don’t seem to fit in.

This blog post was formulated earlier today when I noticed my wife reach out and start a conversation with someone at work who the rest of us were ignoring. We didn’t know him, he was different from the rest of us, and, well… that’s about all the excuses I’ll offer. We didn’t include him.

But she did.

She asked how he was doing, how he liked his job. She gently and kindly drew him into our conversation without making him feel awkward about it.

For the record, I’ve seen her do this a lot, and she’s really good about it. She has a sensitivity, a radar, if you will, about finding the odd-person-out and including them.

So, here’s your challenge for today (it’s mine, too!):

Be inclusive.

When you see someone who doesn’t exactly fit in to your “crowd”, make your crowd flexible enough to fit the person.

It could be someone who ordinarily annoys you. They may dress differently. They may have a strange accent. They may smoke or talk loudly or… well… you get the idea, don’t you?

Be sensitive to their feelings. If you’re going to do something as a group, see if you can persuade the others in your group to let them come along. Find a reason to like the person, and be kind to them.

That’s all there is to it. It’s not easy. You’ll likely find yourself outside your comfort zone. But, you can do it. I know you can.

Thank you for reading today’s post. I really appreciate you including my blog into your busy day.

Thank you also for being willing to repost, forward, retweet or otherwise passing it on. Kindness begets kindness and it will come back to you in unexpected ways.

Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Social Media and Service

2009-04-07T12:21:00.002-06:00

Welcome back to my blog!

As you may know, I’m into social media – I have a twitter account, a facebook account and my wife and I met on a social media site in 2003. I love social media! There can be so much good done in the world, and though social media isn’t the only way to accomplish good things, it’s certainly an important component about getting good and positive messages out.

But, like any invention, from the discovery of fire to everything created after that, it can be used to do good or to accomplish evil purposes. Fire can be used to either warm your family or to burn down the neighbor’s home.

I’m sure we’ve all read the news accounts where people with apparently nothing better to do, use their myspace, facebook and other social media pages to trash-talk others. Teenagers are especially prone to this, possibly because this is there technology. Us older folks aren’t immune, however, and we tend to do the same thing from time to time.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

If you have an account on a social media site, find one of your connected friends and send them a positive message. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Remind them of something they’ve recently done that inspired you or helped you or taught you.

If you see something negative posted about someone else, no matter how well-deserved you think that criticism is, simply ignore it. Refuse to comment on it or pass it on.

I know you can do this.

You come to my blog to learn ways to be a better person, to learn how to serve others in small and simple ways. For that, I greatly appreciate you, and I encourage you to continue using social media for good.

Thanks for reading today! Feel free to pass this on, to forward it, to retweet it and to repost it wherever you like.

And remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Catching Flies with Honey

2009-04-06T13:31:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Monday!

Many of us have something in common. As children, we’ve heard our mother, grandmother or other relative tell us that if we can’t say something nice, we shouldn’t say anything at all.

In addition to other, less helpful advice my elders gave me (one of them was, “You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar”, though for the life of me I can’t figure out what that was all about), the idea that I shouldn’t say anything unkind was something I heard on at least a weekly basis.

For today’s challenge, I’d like to take that a step further.

Instead of simply focusing on what we say to others, today, I’d like you to focus on thinking before responding to someone who expresses an idea you don’t like.
We live in a world where opinions vary. What’s more, for better or worse, we also are prone to hear the opinions of others, wherever we are. We hear about them at school, at work, on public transportation, and even in our worship services.

As we know, the opinions of others don’t always match the opinions we hold dear. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone express their opinion and then heard a follow-up comment from someone else like, “Oh, that’s stupid!” or “Are you crazy? You can’t really believe that!”

Comments such as those don’t really do much to change ideas or feelings. If anything, they serve more to invite a feeling of defensiveness. Arguments often ensue and before long, the situation has gone from an open exchange of ideas to a shouting match where feelings get hurt.

So, just for today, I’d like to challenge you to think before you verbally react when you hear an idea or opinion that differs from your own. Before opening your mouth, open your mind and your heart.

Ask yourself if what you are about to say will invite open and honest discussion or divisiveness and argument. Ask if it will damage your relationship with the person, or if it will enhance it.

There is a quote that has been attributed to many that says:
“It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

How fitting in today’s world where insults are thrown and mud is hurled every time someone wants to simply express their feelings or opinions.

So, today, think before you speak. Try to respond with kindness and thoughtfulness when responding to an idea you don’t like.

You don’t have to agree with everyone – for that would make a very boring world, indeed. But at least be kind. Treat the speaker with the respect and civility you would want to be treated with.

You can do this. It’s not easy, but I know you can do it.
Thank you for taking today’s challenge. I appreciate you. You may not agree with me, but that’s okay. Your feelings, idea and opinions are still valid and valued.

And, in my opinion, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Dangerous Viruses

2009-03-25T09:27:00.003-06:00

We fight viruses every day. It seems to be a never ending battle.

During the winter months, we fight a lot of viruses that can threaten our health. The cold virus is one example of something that can leave us feeling absolutely miserable. Nobody likes having a cold.

There are also viruses that can infect our computer with spyware, malware and other pernicious problems we may not even be able to see or combat without the help of an expert.

But there’s another virus that spreads so quickly, it can do a lot of damage to a lot of people and organizations before anyone really has a chance to combat it. If this particular virus is allowed to spread without being challenged and treated, it can result in great losses to productivity, and the general health of individuals and even an entire work force.

This virus is called negativity.

One person with a negative attitude can infect everyone around them, and, very often, that’s a symptom of the virus itself, for they can’t seem to keep it to themselves and be content with that. Once they’re infected, they feel a certain obligation to spread it from person to person, until everyone else feels as miserable as they are.

What a nasty virus!

The only thing I’ve really found effective at fighting the negativity virus is to get away and isolate myself from the carrier. I’ve tried reasoning, cheerfulness, positivity and other antidotes, but many times, my efforts are ineffective and I end up getting infected with what they have before I know it.

So, here’s your challenge today:

Be a carrier for a different kind of virus.

Be a positivity carrier.

Just for today, smile like you mean it.

When you and others are faced with grim news (and let’s face it, there’s plenty of that to go around these days), look past the negative and find the positive. Then share that with others. While the carriers of the negativity virus always look for the dark cloud inside the silver lining, see if you can look past that and find the silver lining.

Do you know someone who is down, who needs encouragement, love, caring and a dose of something positive? You can help them. You don’t need anyone’s permission to help them, just do it.

Be a positivity carrier.

Infect as many people as you can.

They may think you’re crazy, but that’s okay. Often people infected with negativity can only see optimism as insanity. Don’t worry about that, and certainly don’t let that affect your efforts to find the good amidst all the bad.

Can you be positive today?

Can you be a carrier of the positivity virus?

Can you infect others?

I think you can.

Now, go and do and have fun with it!

Thank you for reading today’s post. I appreciate you. Because I know you come to my blog and read what I write, I feel more positive about life.

See? You’re already doing it.

And always remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.
James

Encouragement

2009-03-19T13:14:00.002-06:00

I got a call from my dad the other night.

The fact that he called isn’t unusual, but I must admit, I was surprised by why he called.

I’ve been working on my fifth book, tentatively titled “Whispers of Home”. It’s a novel about a girl named Emily, who leaves the comfort and peace of the Spirit World to come to mortality. Her life here, by comparison, at least, is chaotic and unpredictable.

Throughout the story, Emily has a few noteworthy encounters with her guardian spirit, Rosemary. And, at those times when Emily can’t see her, we know that Rosemary is always there, in some manner, to guide, strengthen, warn and help. On many occasions, Rosemary whispers encouragement and advice to the young Emily, thus, the title.

I wasn’t sure how my dad would react to reading about guiding spirits and life’s interactions from one side of the veil to the other, because his wife of six decades just passed away two months ago. I didn’t know if he would find the story encouraging, or if he would feel that it was too soon to think about such events, because of the raw emotions that come with sudden widowhood.

But, I took a chance.

This past Sunday, I took my little flash drive to his house and downloaded what I had so far written of the story. I put it on his desktop so he could read it when he felt ready to.

And, tonight, he called for the sole purpose of telling me how much he enjoyed it, and how happy the story had made him. In fact, when he first called, I asked how he was, and he answered with “I’m better now.” When I asked what he meant, he said that he felt better for having read only the first five chapters of my story.

I was taken by surprise. I mean, I would never think my dad would say anything negative either about me or my creative work, but to call simply to tell me my writing made him happy? To call just to encourage me in this particular work?

It was a call I’ll never forget.

My dad has always been one to encourage, and that’s one of the reasons he’s my hero. I remember all through my growing-up years, dad would always find something to tell me that would encourage me. If I wasn’t doing so well in school, he would encourage me to do better. If I was doing particularly well at something, he would encourage me to continue. Never did my father make me feel like I was a failure.
He always, always encouraged me.

So, here’s your challenge for today:

Think about the people in your life. Don’t just focus on those who guest star in your own movie of life, think about the bit players and the extras, too.

Of those, who do you know that could use your encouragement?

Remember, to be effective, memorable and meaningful, service doesn’t have to be a large, cumbersome or time-consuming project. Small and simple service acts have great meaning to the recipient.

Think about your own interactions with those who have encouraged you. Did they have to call you up on stage and give you an award in front of hundreds of people? Did they have to announce your name in the news or over the radio? Sure, those are nice things, but I bet if you searched your memory, you can think of times when you received encouragement from someone who took the time to call you up, or mail you a thank you note, or even sent you a short email.

You can do it, too.

Think of someone and encourage them.

Pick up the phone and call them.

Write and mail a nice thank you card.

Send them a short email.

Make it personal and make it real. Don’t fabricate something, for, in the end, you both lose when you’re insincere.

Thank them for something they’ve done well, and encourage them to continue.
Recognize their efforts for something they may struggle with, and encourage them to keep at it.

Offer to help if you have the time and ability, or offer to point them to the help they need if it’s something you can’t help them with.

But, whatever you do, do it.

Do it today.

Find someone to encourage, and then encourage them.

Let them know you care.

Just do it.
Thank you for reading my post today. It makes me feel good knowing I can help you make a positive impact on someone else’s day – on someone else’s life.

Please pass it on. Stumble this, paste it into an email and send it to a friend or two (please don’t spam). Retweet. Repost. Share.

But most of all, please keep coming back.

And remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Be a Hero

2009-03-17T10:58:00.001-06:00

Heroes

Recently, I read in the news of a man heading home on the freeway and seeing an accident up ahead. One of the vehicles involved in the crash caught fire, trapping a woman inside.

Though the man wasn’t a trained firefighter or rescuer, he acted. He pulled over, stopped his own car, then pulled the woman out of her car. He said he’d seen on television how cars can explode when they’re on fire, and he couldn’t just leave her there.

Pretty dramatic story, isn’t it? In one fell swoop, this man earned enough “hero points” to last him a lifetime.

Yet, even with all the drama such stories inherently contain, one common thread I notice in all such accounts is this:

The ordinary people who save others from imminent danger reject the label we put on them. They refuse to be called a hero.

They often say they were just in the right place at the right time and that anybody else would have (hopefully) done the same thing.

What about you?

Have you been a hero to someone? Are you a hero to someone now?

A hero doesn’t have to be someone who rescues someone from a burning car or building. A hero can be someone who is just at the right place at the right time.

The circumstances can be mundane and completely not newsworthy, yet still impact someone else’s life in dramatic ways.

My dad is such a hero. Though I know he would risk his life to save someone from imminent death or bodily injury by fire, I can’t think of a time he’s ever rescued anyone from a car fire. Yet, he’s been steadily building up “hero points” day after day, year after year.

He’s been there to encourage me to do my best, and he’s always thought far better of me than I’ve felt of myself. He tells me, too. By word and example, he’s shown me that he places such great faith in me that no matter if I feel like I’ve failed in a particular endeavor, he always sees me as a success.

And, even with eight children (me being the youngest) and a wife who often required round the clock care, he still found ways to serve others outside the family. He served with distinction but without fanfare. He never got a medal for his heroism, yet to many people, he most definitely is a hero.

How about you?

Can you be a hero to someone today?

Can you encourage them to be there best?

Can you see them as a success even if they feel like they’ve failed?

Who can you be a hero to?

Do you have a child or children you can serve, motivate and cheer on, even if it's not your own child?

Do you have a sibling or a parent you can quietly but meaningfully serve?

What about your coworkers or neighbors? Could they use someone in their lives that sees them at their worst but treats them like they’re at their best?

How can you earn “hero points” by serving someone else today?

I challenge you to find someone to serve today. Find someone to be a hero to. Find someone to encourage, to uplift. Even if you can find one person and help them one time in some small and simple way, you’ve met the challenge.

Be someone’s hero.

And remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

Good Gossip, Bad Gossip

2009-03-16T15:45:00.002-06:00

Welcome back. Its good to see you again.

I apologize for my sudden absence from my blog - late last year, there was so much going on in my life, I needed to take a hiatus and just get things settled.

I'm still trying to post every day, but anniversary days like today (mama passed away 2 months ago today), and with everyday life, I just can't seem to get back into it. I promise, I'm trying.

One of the things that happened was my dear mama got sick and ended up in the ICU of a local hospital. She passed away on January 16, 2009. For a week, our family essentially took over the ICU waiting room (on one typical day, I counted 32 of us there).

This time was both a very sad time and a very good and spiritual time. Not only did we as her children, husband, grandchildren and others have time to see one another on a daily basis, we also had many opportunities to tell mama of our love and to assure her that we would be fine if she needed to return Home.

We shared a lot of stories in that waiting room, and one constant story that was told over and over was mom’s refusal to pass on bad gossip.

I suppose you may be wondering if there really is such a thing as good gossip.

There is.

Whenever mama heard something nice about someone, she always made a point to pick up the phone and tell the person what so-and-so said about them. But, if she heard something bad about someone, she kept it completely to herself.

What an example I have to live up to!

So, here’s today’s challenge - which is actually a few challenges rolled into one. You can pick one, do all or just some of them:

First, make a point to find the good in somebody you know who really needs an encouraging word. This might be a co-worker, a friend or even the bus or cab driver. Find something about them to praise, and then just say it.

It’s not hard, it’s a small and simple way to brighten someone else’s day, and the impact on them could be just what they need to make it through a rough day.

Second, if someone comes to you with something negative to say about someone else, refuse to listen or pass it on. Tell that person of a nice quality about the object of the gossip, and let them know you appreciate the other person.

Third and final, if you hear gossip about yourself, remind yourself that you are a child of God, a true and literal son or daughter of diety. Rather than becoming immediately defensive about what you’ve heard, think of one of your best qualities. Write it down and remind yourself of that quality throughout your day.

As I’ve learned (and am continuing to learn) from mama, service doesn’t have to be an arduous, painful or time consuming process. It really can be small and simple, take little time and have a great and lasting impact on the lives of others.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

Civility

2009-03-11T10:04:00.002-06:00

We often read in the news about just how different and diverse our world is becoming. Because of inventions like the Internet, we’re learning more and more about people all over the world, in real time, as if they were our next door neighbors.

But, at the same time we’re learning about our differences, sometimes we’re letting those differences be barriers to our commonality. Rather than be the work-together village we once were, in too many instances we’re becoming a slum town where we stick together with those who believe as we do and form gangs to tear down others who believe differently.

We’ve become a world of red states vs. blue states. We have straights vs. gays. Black against white against Hispanic against… well, you get the picture. No one group seems to be able to avoid the fray.

Where will this lead? It’s already taken us through the courts and into wars. Where the Vietnam War became a living room war a few decades ago, we now get to watch the likes of Judge Judy, Divorce Court and even American Idol where civility toward one another seems to be the exception rather than the rule.

We love to tear down others who are different from us. Rather than step out of our homes and talk about our common interests, we pull our cars into our attached garages, turn on the radio host who attacks our differences and polarizes us, and then get on the Internet to lambaste others who don’t look, speak, think or act like we do.

We shun anything and anyone that could help us find common ground.

So, I’m betting you can guess what today’s challenge is, can’t you?

For today, be nice. Be civil. When you can’t find common ground in beliefs, find it in other areas.

Do you both have children? Grandchildren? Do you have a common interest in music? Books? Movies? Can you steer the conversation away from religion, politics, race or whatever comes between you and instead talk about something you share?

Build a bridge. Smile. You don’t have to believe the way someone else does, but you can accept someone else as a fellow child of God, a co-resident of this big, beautiful world we live in.

We don’t have to do it all, but we should do what we can, even if only for today.

Thank you for taking today’s challenge. I hope you find peace and harmony in your life and in your relationships. I hope you find small and simple service worthwhile and meaningful.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

Uptate - 30 Minute Service Challenge

2009-03-07T13:52:00.003-07:00

First of all, let me say “thank you”. Just by being willing to consider accepting and following through with this challenge, you’ve shown a desire to do something worthwhile for no gain to yourself, except for the good feelings of helping someone else.

I appreciate you!

Second, I realize most of us aren’t celebrities, but we all have a certain “circle of influence” with others. We have friends, family members, coworkers. People we communicate and network with on a regular basis. I’d like to ask you to pass on this challenge and get the word out however you can. The more people who know about it, the more people can participate in it.

And the more people who participate in it, the more people being served.

One of my favorite books is called “The Message”, by Lance Richardson. The author died and came back to his mortal life a changed man. Before coming back, he had the opportunity to visit Paradise, or the Spirit World. While he was there, he learned one very central and fundamental lesson:

Service is the Action Form of Love

If each one of us who accept this challenge can serve just one person for 30 minutes, think what an impact we can make on our own community. Remember, the date for the 30 Minute Service Challenge is on Saturday, March 14, 2009.

Alone, neither you nor I can change the world.

But one by one by one, we can make a difference.

Are you up for the challenge?

James

30 Minute Service Project

2009-03-06T11:11:00.003-07:00

30 Minute Service Challenge

I’d like to tell you about an idea - then I’d like your help passing it along.

The idea is this - on the second Saturday of every month, block out just 30 minutes (minimum) of your busy schedule to serve someone else.

I think many of us have the idea that in order to serve others in meaningful ways, we have to find a complicated, time consuming service project to work on. We think of all the problems we and others face in the world - poverty, hunger, war, etc., and the task seems daunting. We feel that as individuals, anything we do would be ineffective at best.

In reality, like a pebble tossed into the calm waters of a pond, our actions for good can spread out the breadth and length of the world. Our good deeds can radiate from one person to the next in our individual towns, cities and villages and keep radiating outward until many people have been touched.

Truly, service to others can be accomplished in small and simple ways, yet be unbelievably meaningful to the people we serve, as well as to their family and friends.

So, here’s the challenge.

Beginning Saturday, March 14th, block out at least 30 minutes of your day. Put it on your calendar. Set a reminder for yourself for the day before. Tell your friends and family and invite them to join you.

Then, find someone to serve.

Pretty simple, isn’t it?

But, you may be asking, how can I serve others for 30 minutes? What can I do to help?

Here are some ideas:

• Get a trash bag from your kitchen and take a walk. As you walk, pick up trash along the way. You can even drive out to your local park or cemetery and clean up there if you’d like.
• Find someone who needs to talk and listen to them. Really focus and hear what they have to say. You don’t have to offer feedback (unless they ask you to). Just be there for them.
• Share your skills. Do you have a talent or a skill that could help others? Share it for free. Do you write resumes or fix cars? Are you good at landscaping? Masonry? Use your skills for at least 30 minutes to help someone who can use your particular skill or talent.
• Do you know of someone in the hospital or who has experienced a recent loss of a loved one? Go spend some time with them. Visit them with no agenda in mind other than to see how they’re doing and let them know through your actions and words that you care. See if there’s anything they’d like you to do. Offer to run to the store for them. Ask if they need meals or a car wash. Then do it.

I think you get the idea. The ideas are endless and in almost every case, will cost you nothing but a little of your time and attention. And remember that the 30 minute time frame is a minimum, not an absolute. If you can devote more time to serving, by all means, please do.

Other than the challenge itself, the only thing I would ask of you is this:

If you have service ideas, I'd like to hear about them. Also, if once your service is complete, I'd love to hear about those, too. Your experience could really help others serve. And finally, pass it on.

You have my permission to cut and paste this document into a new note or email, print it and hand it out… whatever. This isn’t about acclaim or fame. It’s all about serving others.

Let’s do it!

James

Standing By

2009-03-04T09:55:00.002-07:00

Welcome back to my blog. It's so good to see you again!

I'd like to apologize in advance if some of my blog posts seem to dwell on the thoughts I have in the recent passing of my mama. She's been on my mind a lot, as have the people who loved her and spent time with her at the hospital last month.

One of those people, of course, is my dad.

Mom and dad were married almost 62 years at the time of her passing. They would have celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary in the autumn of this year. Dad hung on to the hope that she would make it through the illness that landed her in the hospital, but it just wasn't the way things turned out.

Yet, even in the face of losing his sweet companion, he never left mama's side.

On many ocassions during the week mama spent in the Intensive Care Unit, one of us kids would go into her room and find dad hunched over the bed, her limp hand in his strong but gentle grasp. He would stand that way for hours on end.

We'd try to get him to take a break and go to the cafeteria for some nourishment, but he declined. Instead, he'd ask one of us to bring him a muffin or a drink to keep him going. We nearly had to beg him to go home at night so he could sleep and regain his strength for another day of standing at mama's bedside, holding her hand.

He knew she wasn't going to get better.

He knew she wasn't going to go home with him.

He knew he couldn't save her life.

Yet, there he was. Day after day after day, standing by her side.

There's a lesson in here for me, and perhaps for you, too. And that brings up today's challenge:

Stand by.

Do you have a friend, family member or someone else that just needs someone to stand by and hold their hand, either literally or figuratively?

Do you know someone who needs a friend to just stand by and listen to their problems, even if that means only listening and no solving?

Do you have a co-worker who needs someone to stand by them as they face difficult times? Maybe a layoff, reduction in pay, or survivor's guilt after watching others get laid off?

Can you be that person?

Can you be the person standing by to listen, strengthen, uplift and support?

Can you be the one they so desperately need in their corner, even when things seem helpless, hopeless and dark?

Can you?

I think you can.

Look around you - in all your relationships. Be aware of those you work with, live with, socialize with or go to school with. Be aware of the needs of individuals. Be sensitive to those who need you to stand by them.

And when you find that person, you know what to do.

Just stand by.

As always, thank you for reading today's post. I appreciate you. I hope and pray for you to find someone to stand by. Thank you also for sharing my words with others.

Truly, Service is the Action Form of Love.

Lessons from Mama's Passing

2009-03-02T09:12:00.002-07:00

Welcome back. Late last year and early this year, life got in the way and I needed to take a leave of absence.

My mama had just turned 79 and one month to the day when she passed away on January 16, 2009.

From this experience, losing someone so incredibly important in my life, I learned some valuable service lessons. For today’s post, I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned.

When dealing with someone grieving and mourning, this is what helped me:

Listen.

I find myself talking about the most random memories of mama. It really helps when someone is willing to just listen.

Share.

If you have memories of the person I’m mourning, I love hearing those memories. This also encourages me to share.

Allow mourning time.

The one comment that shuts me down completely is “get over it”. How can I get over the death of this very special person in a specified period of time? I can’t and I won’t. My mourning will take as long as it takes.

Don’t worry about the “right” thing to say.

In the ICU, at the funeral and later, many people told me they wished they knew what to say. Just the fact that you said that lets me know you care, and it’s a lot more appreciated than saying nothing at all. Though it may not be true, saying nothing can give the appearance that you don’t care.

Be a Peacemaker.

When faced with the passing of a loved one, how sad is it that survivors fight and bicker over material possessions? Be willing to share, find ways to get along and be thoughtful of the others in the situation. Remember, you’re not the only one feeling the loss, and as for material possessions, well, you can’t take it with you.

Thank you for being willing to read today’s post. Thank you for being willing to be kind and thoughtful of others, despite the circumstances. Thank you for being willing to share my words with others by posting, linking, stumbling and forwarding.

Thank you for being you.

And remember, Service is the Action Form of Love

Loving Them

2008-12-09T15:09:00.003-07:00

Hello and welcome to Tuesday!

I’ve been away for awhile – I hope you didn’t miss me too much.

Today’s service challenge is short and hopefully sweet:

When you encounter someone who disappoints you, think about the reason for your disappointment.

Are you tying your feelings to them to their behavior or because you don’t like them?

The two are not always the same thing.

Try loving the person for the person, and deal with the behavior separately. Love them for who they are, not for what they do or don't do.

See?

Short.

Hopefully simple.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and accept today’s challenge.

Service is the Action Form of Love.

I appreciate you!

James

Reconcile

2008-12-05T12:05:00.001-07:00

Welcome to Friday – our favorite day of the week!

Have you been weighed down by the conflicting emotions of wanting to forgive but not wanting to let go?

I’d like to tell you about a challenging experience I had to get through recently.

In my job as a customer service representative, I was asked to take on some additional responsibilities. It wasn’t a promotion. There was no extra money, just a sort of added title to go with more work.

I relished the challenge.

This new role required me to help supervise my team of workers. I was asked to help manage them, direct them, listen to them and answer their questions.

One of the people I now supervise apparently didn’t understand or appreciate my new role. I’m not sure if she felt she was better qualified, or just didn’t like the fact that I was now in a position to help the team step up to the plate and work a little harder and smarter. Whatever the reason, there was bitterness. It was immediate and fierce.

I began receiving replies to my team emails that were sarcastic in tone. I even received a message asking if I could have special priveleges because of my new responsibilities.

Whenever I passed by her, I got a cold, withering look from her.

She met with my supervisors to complain about me.

It got bad enough that I was losing sleep over it.

A lot of sleep.

Then, just as I was about at the point of giving in to my fears that I was the cause of the animosity, I received an email from her.

She apologized.

She asked for my forgiveness.

She asked if we could be friends.

She told me she hadn’t realized what my responsibilities entailed, and thought I was unfairly giving her extra work when I had no right do delegate tasks.

What would you do?

Would you forgive?

Would you question her motives?

Here’s today’s challenge:

If you’ve been weighed down by a situation where you’re wanting to forgive, but you’re just having a hard time deciding whether or not you can or should let it go –

Forgive.

Forget.

Let go.

It’s certainly not easy, especially considering all the negative emotions and energy that came before now, but hanging on to all of that is no way to live. It’s draining, and it’s likely affecting you much more than it is the other person or people involved.

You don’t have to be their best friend.

You can still be cautious.

You can still be careful.

But forgive.

Today.

No matter how long ago the incident happened. No matter who was right or wrong.

Just forgive.

Move forward.

Move on.

Let it go.

Find reconciliation with the peace you so badly want, even if you can’t reconcile with them.

A friend used the phrase, “water under the bridge” the other day.

The interesting thing about water under the bridge is that you don’t have to run downstream to watch and see what happens.

You can just… let it go and find peace and joy that comes with forgiveness.

Thank you for reading and accepting today’s challenge. Thank you also for being willing to pass it on to others.

Remember, Service is the Action form of Love.

James

Heart of Hearing

2008-12-02T11:29:00.001-07:00

Welcome to Tuesday!

Yesterday’s challenge was about judging others.

Something I’ve found that helps me avoid judging someone in a negative way is to both listen and hear what they’re trying to tell me.

To do this effectively, I’ve found, I can’t just listen with my ears. I have to listen with my heart as well. Sometimes, I get my emotions involved – the good ones.

I try to look past whatever physical obstacles there may be, like the exterior of the person trying to make me understand. Sadly, I’m human and I sometimes let people’s rough or otherwise unusual exterior get in the way of hearing and understanding their needs.

I usually find I do better when I try to “hear between the lines”. This helps me more easily pick up the real meaning of what someone is trying to tell me.

We often speak – and hear – in contradictions. This isn’t always a bad thing, but it can lead to miscommunication and missed messages.

So, here’s your challenge for today.

When someone is trying to get you to really hear them, look past their physical exterior and try to listen with your heart. Don’t cut them off. Don’t anticipate what they’re going to say next (or what you want to say next, for that matter).

Really listen.

And then do all you can to respond with love, caring and positivity. Make them glad they came to you.

Thank you for reading and accepting today’s challenge. I appreciate the time you take to really hear my message with your heart.

Truly, Service is the Action form of Love.

James

Judging

2008-12-01T17:59:00.002-07:00

Welcome to Monday!

For many of us, getting through the day without judging others without cause and complete information is near impossible.

I’m constantly surprised at how often I am willing to judge others by their words and actual deeds (results) when I want to be judged by my good intentions.

I suspect you may feel the same way.

So, here’s your challenge for today:

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

When you’re tempted to think the worst, ask yourself “how can I look at this person or situation in a less judgmental light?”

Try and see the situation from the other person’s point of view – then act accordingly.

That’s all there is to it.

Thank you for reading and accepting today’s challenge. Thank you also for being willing to pass it on, for stumbling it, digging it, retweeting it and forwarding it to others.

I appreciate you.

Remember, Service is the Action form of Love.

James

One Gift

2008-11-28T12:07:00.002-07:00

The day after Thanksgiving marks something called “Black Friday”, where retailers hope their special sales will put them in the black, financially.

Today’s challenge is short and simple.

As you do your shopping this week, think of someone less fortunate and buy just one thing for them.

Maybe a pair of socks.

Could be a warm hat or gloves or scarf.

It’s possible they just need some extra food.

Can you spare a small percentage of your Christmas shopping budget for someone really in need?

If so, you could do something more than just spread Christmas cheer. You could help someone survive this winter.

Thank you for reading and accepting today’s challenge. I appreciate you!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Lamb and Lion

2008-11-26T17:57:00.002-07:00

I’ve been listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on my MP3 player. A phrase from the hymn, “The Spirit of God”, really jumped out at me:

How blessed the day when the Lamb and the lion shall lie down together without any ire (The Spirit of God, William W. Phelps, 1792–1872)

I was wondering what this could mean.

We know that one of Christ’s names is the Lamb of God. When He returns, who would be considered the Lion?

Satan is Christ’s enemy, but there will be no reconciliation between these brothers – that much is clear from the scriptures. So, when He returns, who could we say the lion is? Who will be reconciled with Him?

The answer seems to be: Us

You and me.

We are the lions. We are the predatory ones who are prone to lash out at the Lamb because… well… it’s our nature to do so.

While it’s true that there may not be actual “ire” between us and the Savior, our natural-man selves make us an enemy to God, as King Benjamin taught his people:

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19 – emphasis mine)

In our natural state, we are the enemy to God – to Christ. We are the lions who need reconciliation so we can be in His presence.

Knowing that, I need to try and be more like Him – more like a Lamb than a lion. What can I do today to be better at that? How can I be more gentle and less prone to roar at others and lash out?

Just a few thoughts.

James

Thanks!

2008-11-26T17:24:00.002-07:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving (no, not turkey day – that’s not what it’s about. It’s about being thankful for our blessings both from God and from others.)

Here’s your challenge for the rest of the week:

Be thankful, and express your thanks.

If someone does something for you, thank them.

If someone has already done something for you, thank them.

If someone would like to do something for you, thank them.

Easy, right?

This is Thanksgiving week in America, so the challenge should be easy for you to remember!

As always, thank you for reading and taking today’s challenge. Thank you also for forwarding, reposting, linking, stumbling, retweeting and other ways you pass it on and pay it forward. I appreciate you!

Remember, Service is the Action form of Love.

James

One Deed

2008-11-20T18:18:00.003-07:00

It’s finally Friday!

Your mind is probably wandering, planning out your weekend, so I’ll keep today’s challenge short and sweet. Small and simple service is a great way to end the week.

Find a way to do one good deed today. Try to keep it anonymous.

Remember, it’s about serving others, not self-promotion. Let your reward be the warm feeling you get from doing something nice for someone else.

In some situations, the person you’re serving will know that you’re helping. Helping someone carry their groceries, for example, is difficult to do without the recipient seeing you. Otherwise, they might think you’re stealing their food.

I think you know that.

Just help someone.

It could be a stranger.

It could be a co-worker.

It could even be someone in your own family or circle of friends.

Be creative.

Have fun with it.

But do it.

See?

Short and sweet!

Thank you for reading and accepting today’s challenge. I’d love to hear your comments!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Smokeout

2008-11-20T13:05:00.002-07:00

It’s Service Thursday!

Today also happens to be the Great American Smokeout Day. This makes today’s challenge both easy and… well… challenging.

If you know a smoker, be kind to them today.

I know it’s not always easy. Sometimes we get annoyed with each other anyway, but some of us take special offense with those addicted to tobacco.

But today, your challenge is to be kind to them. You may not agree with them, with what they do with either their money or their spent cigarette butts. You may not agree with where they choose to light up and blow their smoke.

Be kind to them, anyway.

Almost every smoker I know (and there are many) wishes they didn’t smoke. They try and try to quit, but because it’s such a forceful addiction, they can’t seem to manage to go very long between tries.

Every ex-smoker I know is glad they quit, though many still feel the pull of the addiction, even years later.

Realize that it’s not easy to deal with all the stress in the workplace, family or anything else. Some use smoking to help them get through. Whether or not that’s a choice you would make, the smoker who annoys you with their habit is still a living, breathing, worthwhile child of God.

Be kind to them today.

If you are a smoker trying to quit today, here’s your challenge:

Be kind to yourself.

Try your best, but be easy on you, too.

If you slip and have a smoke or a drag, forgive yourself and move on.

Believe in yourself.

I believe in you!

As always, thank you for reading today’s challenge! Please feel free to forward this to anyone who smokes, is trying to quit smoking, has smoked or knows someone who fits into one of the above categories.

Yes, I know. That’s everyone.

Most of all, remember – Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Lambs Don't Roar

2008-11-19T12:18:00.003-07:00

Welcome to Wednesday!

I’ve been thinking of something Jesus called His followers in the scriptures. He called them sheep, and sometimes lambs. In fact, He Himself is called the Lamb of God. That tells me that being called a sheep or a lamb is nothing to feel insulted about. On the contrary, if Christ can be called the Lamb of God, I am honored to be one of His lambs.

We live in an increasingly hostile world. Many times, good people are attacked for their beliefs, opinions and lifestyles. Those of us who face this hostility are, naturally inclined to fight back.

Something I’d like to point out:

Lambs Don’t Roar.

They don’t fight back.

They are not predatory by nature.

So, here’s today’s challenge –

Be a lamb.

When faced with opposition, criticism, insults or other boorish behavior, don’t roar.

Don’t fight back.

Listen to what they have to say, and fight your natural inclination to attack back.

It doesn’t matter what they’re attacking. It could be your faith. It could be your integrity. It could be everything you are and have become.

Whatever it is, listen, disregard what’s not true, smile and say, “thank you”.

Then walk away, back to the safety of your fold.

I realize this is one of the tougher challenges I’ve given, but I know you can do it. It won’t be easy, and it may not even make you feel good for now.

But try it and see what happens.

I’d be interested in hearing your experiences with this challenge. You’re welcome to post as a comment.

Thank you for taking today’s challenge.

I appreciate you!

As always, please feel free to pass this challenge on to others.

And, remember – Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Running Late

2008-11-18T13:24:00.002-07:00

It’s Tueday. I’m running late with today’s post. I apologize to those of you who are used to a post first thing in the morning.

This is a great way to introduce today’s challenge.

We all have issues with being tardy to a meeting, a lunch or even something more informal.

We also know there are those who are perpetually late in meeting with us.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Today, let it go.

Remember that as you want to be treated (with kindness and forgiveness), you should be able to forgive those who are late. I’ve found that in most cases, people aren’t late to be rude or inconsiderate.
They often have a very good reason for running behind.

I remember hearing a story about a young woman who was waiting for her steady to pick her up for a date.

She sat home, all dressed and ready for a wonderful time out, but he didn’t show.

No phone call.

No date.

Nothing.

She stewed and steamed, wondering why she was even dating this guy. How could he be so indifferent to her and to her feelings?

She went to bed angry, resolving to chew him out the next time he called on her, and to never see him again.

A day or so later, she heard from his family.

On his way to pick her up, he had been in a terrible car accident. This was back before cellphones, and there was no way for him or the authorities to call her. Even if they could have, the man’s condition was such that he wouldn’t have been able to ask anyone to call and apologize.

Can you imagine her feelings once she found out the true reason for his being late?

How would you feel?

So, today, let’s forgive those who stand us up, who run in late, who seem to have forgotten about us.

Let’s consider the fact that life happens to us all, and though we would like to be judged by our intentions and not our actions, others deserve the same from us.

Thank you for reading today’s challenge. I appreciate you.

And, I’m sorry for running late.

Remember, Service is the Action form of Love.

James

Step Back

2008-11-17T10:47:00.002-07:00

Welcome to Monday!

If you’re like me, Monday can be the most difficult day to gear up for. For many of us, it’s the first day of what seems to be an incredibly long week. Coming back from two days of relaxation, worship and family time can be hard.

For those of us who work in the world, we often have to work with others who are also experiencing the Monday blues. Tempers can get short. Frustrations can mount. Words can be thrown out that we later wish we’d never said.

On days like today, despite our best intentions, it’s easy to find reasons to catch someone doing something wrong.

It may be a coworker.

It may be our boss.

It may be our child, our spouse or a sibling.

Whoever it is, they often have the misfortune of feeling the brunt of our criticism.

Is it fair?

Are we being fair?

When we’ve had a bad morning, is it fair for us to unleash on others who had nothing to do with creating our bad mood?

Are we lashing out at those closest to us because we got cut off in traffic?

Are we berating our friends and loved ones because we got a short night’s sleep?

Are we unjustly and unconsciously letting others take the full impact of our sour mood when they’ve done nothing wrong?

If you’re like me, it’s happened. Sometimes we feel powerless to stop the downward spiral of treating others badly because we don’t feel so chipper ourselves. More than once, I’ve noticed that the poison from my downer of a day spreads quickly and with deadly efficiency.

None of us are perfect.

So, here’s today’s challenge – a challenge I’m taking right along with you:

When you encounter someone today and feel like unloading on them, literally take a step back. Put one foot behind the other. Physically move back one step.

Then, count to five in your head.

And, here’s the tricky part –

Find something praiseworthy about them, and tell them.

It doesn’t have to be something profound, but it should be absolutely sincere.

Smile when you say it.

Show them you’re happier when you see them. Don’t let them doubt that you genuinely care about them, their success and their welfare.

Praise them.

Then, as you go throughout the day, catch them doing something right.

And, when you do, bring it to their attention immediately. Let them know that you know what they did and how it makes you feel.

Whatever criticism you may have for them today, put off until next week.

Whatever negative feelings you had about them yesterday or last week, put those feelings where they belong.

In the past.

Can you imagine if we all accepted this challenge and succeeded, how much better our world would be?

Remember, I’m taking the challenge too. It’s a small and simple challenge, but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy one.

We can do it, you and I.

Thank you so much for reading and taking today’s challenge. If you feel so inclined, please pass it on.

I appreciate you!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Little Sisters

2008-11-15T14:43:00.003-07:00

Welcome to the weekend!

This weekend, I joined Facebook. I never thought I would. In fact, I had avoided it, and other large social networks like the plague. But you know what?

I’m glad I did.

I’ve been thinking about a group of people from my recent past who have really made an impact on my life. These were young women I’d met over the course of a couple of years, 2003-2004, at Temple Square in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah.

Each of these young ladies, from nearly every part of the earth, volunteered their time, their talents and lives to spend 18 months to travel to Utah to do something very special.

They were missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

At the time I met them, I was at a point in my life where I sorely needed direction. I had spent years battling addictions of all kinds and was just sort of wandering and surviving life.

I lived with my parents, and though I was helping take care of my aged mother, I was doing nothing else to benefit humanity.

I was a taker.

One morning, I found myself wandering downtown Salt Lake City. I was headed to my favorite coffee shop, and for some reason, ended up on Temple Square.

A couple of young women, Sister Ross and Sister Johnson, asked if I would like to take a tour. Having grown up in the area, I was well familiar with the history of the LDS Church and had been to Temple Square many times before.

They kindly persisted and I accepted their invitation.

That tour marked the beginning of a wonderful journey for me.

These young women, relying on their own experiences, but much more on the Spirit of God, taught me many things that have literally changed me, changed my heart and changed my life.

I learned about Jesus Christ – that He was so much more than a wise man or teacher. I learned that He is His Father’s most beloved Son. I learned of His miracles, His compassion, mercy and grace.

I learned that by accepting Him and following Him, I could overcome all the problems and addictions and frustrations that I was immersed in.

From these beautiful missionaries – who I now affectionately refer to as my little sisters, I learned that my life has a purpose. I learned that I am literally a child of God.

I learned that my Father in Heaven is not a God of retribution and meanness. I learned that He is a hands-on parent. I learned that He could and would guide and direct my life with kindness, gentleness and fairness.

My heart softened.

My mind opened.

My life changed.

Some of these young women may feel that they really didn’t do anything to help me. They may feel that they didn’t have much of an impact on changing my life.

I suspect that those who feel this way may not remember that some of us are asked to plant the seed, while others will be asked to nurture the seedling and yet others will be asked to harvest.

Each stage was critical to me. Each one was a part of this new and wonderful change inside of me that has brought me true and lasting peace and happiness.

I am a better man for having met them.

So, what does all this have to do with Service – the Action Form of Love?

Here’s today’s challenge:

For most of us, there is someone who has affected our life for the better.

They have taught us something profound.

They have rescued us.

They have loved us despite our being unlovable.

This weekend, find a way to reach out to them and thank them.

Tell them something specific they did to help you.

You can either do this anonymously, by sending a note in the mail and leaving off your name and return address, or you can call or email them or visit them.

But do it.

They deserve to know how much what they’ve done means to you.

Thank you for taking the time to read today’s challenge. Thank you for taking the challenge, too.

I appreciate you.

Please pass it on, and remember…

Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

Trashy

2008-11-14T11:46:00.002-07:00

It’s Friday – a great day for service.

Have you noticed how much trash there is around you? As you drive, walk or take the train or bus, do you notice the stuff people leave behind?

Once, while waiting for a bus, I happened to look through the fence into the cemetery that was behind me. Among the beautifully decorated graves and strewn about on the nicely clipped grass, I saw a lot of things that clearly didn’t belong.

Aluminum cans.

Newspapers blowing in the wind.

There was even a long, broken piece of lumber.

The strange thing is that, despite the smallness of the graveyard, there were plenty of half-empty trash barrels around.

Knowing that I had only fifteen minutes before my bus came, I decided to do something. I cleaned the place up.

As I was picking up the trash, I noticed passers-by were giving me strange looks. Funny how something like that can really make me more determined to keep going.

I’m not telling you this to get any kind of accolades. The reward, for me, was in doing the deed. I’m telling you this in preparation for today’s Service Challenge:

This weekend, how about taking a trashbag along with you. You can even stuff a grocery bag or three in your purse, pocket, briefcase or backpack. Then, as you go about your day, if you see some trash, pick it up, put it in your bag, and dispose of it.

Simple, yes?

Do you remember my post “Family Service Challenge”? Here’s a short quote from that post:

***

When the family was cleaning up garbage at a beach in Eureka, California, the locals were rather surprised.A short quote from the book:“Hi… What are you guys doing?”“Oh, we’re picking up garbage here on the beach.”“Oh.” They would pause a second and then say, “How come?”“We just thought it would be nice to do, and it looked like it needed it.”“Uh huh. Where are you from?”“We’re from Idaho.”“Idaho?!” they would respond with a startled tone. “You’re from Idaho and you’re here cleaning up our beach? Why?”“We just wanted to help out.” (From “The Message – © 2001 American Family Institute)

***

To read the entire post, click here: http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2008/09/family-service-challenge.html

So, what do you say? How about cleaning up just a little bit near where you live, work or play?

Can you imagine if each person just picked up one small bagful of trash, what a more beautiful world we’d be able to enjoy?

Remember, service does not have to be such a big challenge that none of us want to do it. It can be small and simple and easily accomplished.

Ask a friend or family member to help you. Share the workload. Have fun with it. You may get strange looks from others, but you also may be surprised at their willing to do the same thing because of your example.

Set the example.

As always, thank you so much for reading and accepting today’s challenge. I appreciate your willingness to do something nice and worthwhile. You may be the only one who knows of your efforts to clean up. That’s okay, too. You’re not serving for the accolades of others.

You’re doing it because you want to bring a little bit of Heaven to your world.

And I appreciate that about you.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love.

James

One Book

2008-11-13T10:39:00.001-07:00

It’s Service Thursday again.

Today’s challenge is small and simple.

Find a book in your library that has helped you in some way, and give it away.

Most of us have read some book that has affected us in a positive way. Now is a perfect opportunity to share that positivity with someone else.

You can share with a friend.

You can share with a co-worker.

You can share with a stranger.

You can donate the book to a shelter or small library.

It can be a self-help book.

It can be a religious book.

It can be a book that helps learn basic skills.

If you peruse your book collection, I’m sure you’ll find the one that’s just right.

Remember, you’re giving the book away. You’re not loaning it.

Tell the person you’re giving it to that it helped you. Be specific, if possible, but don’t give the story away or go into so much detail that they want to break away from the conversation before you have a chance to hand the book to them.

Can you find just the right book?I think you can.

Do it today, and have fun with it!

As always, thank you for reading and taking today’s challenge. Thank you for being willing to share with others and serve others in small and simple ways.

I’m confident that with your willing help, we can bring a little bit of Heaven to our lives, our relationships and our world.

Remember – Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Pro Bono

2008-11-12T10:26:00.004-07:00

Many of us work to put food on the table. Some of us work for big corporations, others put in our best efforts at small businesses, and still others consult or work for themselves.

We are a varied people with many wonderful talents, skills and abilities.

How can we share these with others in the context of serving others?

Have you ever heard the term pro bono?

You’ve likely heard it used by people in the legal profession.

Pro bono is a Latin term that literally means for (the) good, rightly, morally, but it’s come to mean donating services and doing something for free that you would otherwise charge for.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Are you in a position to share your expertise pro bono today? If you consult or are otherwise self employed, can you find someone who can benefit from your services but can’t afford your rates?

If you work for someone else, this may not be an option, but you can still find ways to serve.

Do you have a special skill or talent that can help another?

Are you good at writing press releases? How about contacting a local charity or non-profit organization and offer to write one or two releases without charging them?

Are you proficient at writing resumes? In today’s sour economy, it’s likely you can find someone who has lost their job and needs your help. Can you help them for free?

Do you have construction skills that could help someone with needed home repairs? How about mechanical expertise to help someone with their vehicle?

Can you donate even 10% of your time, your talents and everything with which you've been blessed?

I think you get the idea. Be creative. As always, try to have fun with it and try to not make the recipient of your service feel like a service project. None of us like to feel like a "cause".

So, share your talent today.

Remember, this isn’t about self-promotion – it’s all about sharing what you can do for others.

Can you help them?

I bet you can.

Thank you for being willing to share today. It’s you who makes what I do so worthwhile and fulfilling. I appreciate you!

Please feel free to share, forward, digg, stumble and retweet today’s challenge.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Veterans

2008-11-11T10:07:00.004-07:00

Who do you know that served in the Armed Forces? Most of us know one, if not more, veterans.

We work with them, we worship with them, we may even visit them if they’re in our family.

In my family, there are three veterans I’d like to tell you about.

The first is my father, Stan.

He’s one who was part of what Tom Brokaw called The Greatest Generation in his 1998 book of the same title.

Dad is one of those who volunteered to join the United States Navy when he was really too young to enlist. But, seeing the dangers from the Nazis and the damage that our then-enemies, the Japanese did to Pearl Harbor, he felt both compelled and impelled to do his part.

I’m really grateful that dad never saw action. He sure saw the results of the horrors of war, but he always seemed to be on a ship far from any battles. I know he would have fought heroically had he been “in it”, but he wasn’t.

He returned home to his hometown of Ely, Nevada, and later moved with his parents and siblings to Salt Lake City, Utah. He met a young lady who captured his heart while parking cars across the street from the fairgrounds, settled down and with mom, raised eight children.

The second veteran I’d like to introduce you to is my oldest brother, Danny.

He grew up at a time of post-war peace, but later had to endure greater turmoil in America. When the Vietnam War was just coming to the forefront of the American news, Danny joined. Like dad, he volunteered.

He signed up to be a paratrooper, and decided it would be a good idea to go to a local Utah jump ground to see what it was all about. He and his friends watched in terror as a woman plunged to her death because her chute didn’t function properly. Yet, somehow, he steeled himself and still went on to do his duty.

Some of the stories Danny has told me over the years make me realize that war is anything but a two-hour movie on the silver screen. No matter if it’s M*A*S*H or Saving Private Ryan, there is no way the actual repugnance, dread or emotional scarring war can force upon a warrior.

When he returned home, things were much different for him than for other veterans, past and future.

There were no parades.

There was no fanfare.

There was spitting.

There was cursing.

There were horrible names hurled at them as if those who used them had actually been there to experienced the appalling conditions of war, themselves.

Vietnam Vets even had to deal with infamous celebrities like Jane Fonda speaking in traitorous terms about them and their service to their country.

The third Veteran I’d like to tell you about is my cousin, Steve.

He also served in Vietnam, as a US Marine.

Danny, who was in the Army, doesn’t like to think about it much, but once when Steve was home on leave, they along with Steve’s twin brother went up into the canyons to get away from it all and relax.

During that trip, Steve got Danny alone and they shared horror stories. Steve wanted to go AWOL and head to Canada. He wanted no more part of a war that was so unpopular with his fellow Americans. He just didn’t feel right. And, he wondered, what would happen to his family if he was killed and his twin brother survived? How could you put a family through that?

Although I firmly believe it was Steve’s ultimate decision to return to his unit on time and get shipped back to the unfriendly Vietnam jungles, Danny is convinced it’s his fault he returned.

I was very young at the time, 4 or 5, if memory serves. Steve’s was the first funeral I remember attending.

There was a glass lid on his coffin, and Danny stood guard in his dress uniform. He proudly did his duty then, too. I cannot begin to imagine the conflicting thoughts and emotions that must have churned inside of him.

After the funeral, Danny returned back to Vietnam, too. He later returned to acrimony and outright hate. It’s taken him these many years to find normalcy in life again. Back then, mental health issues were considered a weakness and many vets, including Danny, were left to fight their demons largely on their own. Taking advantage of mental health services was just not something you didn’t take advantage of.

Because of the experiences of my father, brother and cousin, I have mixed feelings about war itself. I realize now, more than ever, that war is complicated. There are ideals and forces at work that I don’t completely understand.

There is one thing, however, that is crystal clear to me:

Veterans deserve our utmost respect, admiration and devotion.

When a Sailor, Soldier, Airman Marine, National Guardsman or Coast Guardsman puts themselves in harms way so that people like me don’t have to, we owe them.

They did what they were told. They did it because, whether or not the conflict was right, they had a duty to do, and they did it.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Find a veteran and say, “Thank you for serving your country and for protecting me.”

Of all the veterans I know, not one of them would want or accept more than that.

A simple thank you will let them know you care.

To the veterans of all wars, conflicts and police actions for the past two-hundred plus years – including the war on terror our country fights now, please allow me to end this with a personal note.

Thank you.

Thank you for serving your country.

Thank you for being willing to put your life, limbs, emotions, mental health and all else in harms way so that I don’t have to.

I appreciate you.

Carry on.

And, remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Admiration

2008-11-10T10:21:00.003-07:00

Is there someone you admire but haven’t told?

Has someone done something nice for you, your family or someone else, but you just haven’t thanked them?

Today’s a good day for that.
Today’s challenge:

Think of someone you admire for whatever reason, and let them know.

Send them a note in the mail

Call them on the phone.

Email them.

Let them know.

That’s it!

Easy!

Thanks so much for being willing to do something nice and serve someone else.

Thanks, also, for being willing to pass it on.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Unplug

2008-11-07T10:47:00.003-07:00

Have you ever noticed how isolated we can make ourselves? Some of us seem to take Timothy Leary seriously when he said, “Turn on, Tune in, Drop out.”

But at what cost?

It’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking that we’re successfully multi-tasking when really, all we’re doing is ignoring those around us. We sit in our cubicles or in our home offices with our iPods turned up, watching You Tube while making frequent Alt+Tab switches over to our favorite social media sites.

While we’re enjoying our isolation, our podcasts, our funny or educational videos, thinking we’re the paragon of efficiency, those around us who need our attention can suffer.

Have you ever considered how frustrating it is for a child, a spouse or co-worker to compete with all of the electronic distractions that fill our day?

Most of us have experienced trying to have a telephone or face-to-face conversation with someone glued to their favorite television show or movie. Despite our best attempts to engage them in conversation, we hear little more than an occasional “ummm hmmm”.

Sometimes, you and I can be even less aware of those around us. We don’t even notice them trying to talk to us.

Are we putting our loved ones and others who need us to be actively engaged in their lives through that kind of frustration?

Is there an alternative?

Now, understand, I’m not saying that the gadgetry that makes our lives easier, more organized and fun are evil. Far from it. I believe technology is a wonderfully amazing thing. I’m amazed I can sit on a train in Utah home and listen to a lecture from a college professor in New York. We’ve never met each other and likely never will. But because of the invention of computers, the Internet and my MP3 player, I can benefit from this stranger’s expertise.

Technology is not an enemy. Like fire, it can be used for both good and evil. With fire, we can either warm ourselves, or burn down a neighborhood. It’s our choice.

So, here’s my challenge:

This weekend, unplug. Go off the grid. Make yourself wholly available to those who have been clamoring for your attention.

While it’s easy to see you’re there physically, make yourself emotionally, mentally, spiritually and completely available.

Who knows? You might just discover that you like spending some old-fashioned low tech time together.

Thanks for reading and taking the challenge today. I appreciate you!

You can email me, but I’m going to try and take my own advice, and just spend time with my family.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Warmups

2008-11-06T13:23:00.004-07:00

Today’s challenge is easy.

Brrr! It’s a cold wintry day, today.

Warm someone’s heart. Brighten their day. Make their today a little better because you were there for them.

Either figuratively or literally, do something that will warm them and make them feel special.

You could do this for your child, a sibling, a parent, a coworker or even a stranger.

What warms someone?

A sincere smile.

A please and thank you when asking for something.

Offering to let them get it off their chest. Really listening to them, and caring about what they say.
A generous tip at dinner.

An honest compliment.

A cup of cocoa or coffee.

A pair of gloves.

A plate of warm brownies.

Use your imagination.

Have fun with it!

But do it.

Today.

As always, thank you so much for reading and taking today’s challenge. Please feel free to pass it on any way you can.

I appreciate you!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Morning After

2008-11-05T10:00:00.003-07:00

Happy Wednesday!

It’s the day after an historic election.

We knew yesterday that history would be made. There would be either be the first African American president, or we would have the first female vice president.

Either way, every child born from today on will know that the glass ceiling for high-politics has been stubbornly removed.

Today is going to be difficult for many who voted for the other person, or the other way on a measure or ballot proposition that lost.

I remember feeling so let down in a recent election. My vote, though it counted, was wiped out by many others who felt and voted differently than I did.

When the results were announced, I was sitting in the break room at work, a minority in the way I voted. I heard not only the gleeful cheers, but also the hateful jeers of the “winners”. People I had known and respected for a long time let their joy turn into an ugly attitude that was surprising to me. I was saddened to be subjected to “I told you so”, “we’re better than you”, “face it, you lost”.

They used ugly words:

Losers.

Stupid.

Freaks.

Idiots.

I just wanted to get up and go home, but I couldn’t. I still had a shift to finish.

I suspect that many today will be subject to similar unkindness.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

If your party, candidate, ballot measure or proposition was successful in yesterday’s election –

Be kind. Be respectful. Try to remember that this awesome land of ours is great, in part, because of the vast range of opinions. If you don’t share the opinion of someone else, keep in mind that does not make them wrong. Every one of us is entitled to our own feelings and opinions.

And,

If your party, candidate, ballot measure or proposition was voted against and lost in yesterday’s election –

Be kind. Be respectful. Try to remember that this fantastic land of ours is great, in part, because of the vast range of opinions. If you don’t share the opinion of someone else, keep in mind that does not make them wrong. Every one of us is entitled to our own feelings and opinions.

Whether your vote won or lost, it’s time to work together to heal hearts and soothe feelings. Pouring salt in another’s wound while grandstanding says much more about an individual than it says about anything else. That’s an image that will stick in the memories of others.

Humility, whether winner or loser, is extremely difficult, but I think it’s necessary.

Let’s all try to be humble today, mend fences, heal hearts and wounds, and reach out to others in kindness.

Can we do it? (This challenge is one for me, just as much as it is for you)

I think we can.
It surely won’t be easy, but the more we try, the easier it will become.

Thank you for being willing to be kind today. Thank you for reading my challenge and posting it, retweeting it, stumbling it, digging it and otherwise passing it on.

You are what makes this country and this world great.

I appreciate you!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Change

2008-11-04T11:30:00.002-07:00

What are your plans today?

If you’re in the United States, you may be going to vote. But, what else is on your plate?

Are you going to the market to pick up groceries that won’t wait until the weekend?

Are you going out for lunch or dinner?

Are you planning to stop by your favorite coffee shop?

When you do, here’s your challenge:

Save your spare change from the day.

Instead of placing it in the pocket of your purse or trousers, how about donating it?

You could give it to someone on the street (without prejudging what they will do with the money. Once you’ve given it away, it’s up to them to make that choice.)

Or, you could donate it to a local charity.

You could even set aside your change from the rest of the week. Keep it in a cup in your kitchen or in your desk drawer. Then, the next time you pass that charity jar at the diner or someone on the street, you can have it all ready to give away.

If you’re like me, you like saving all your change and not spend it until your change jar is full.

But today – just for today – could you think about giving it away?

That’s your challenge.

Have fun with it!

As always, thanks for reading today’s challenge – and for forwarding, reposting, retweeting, stumbling and digging for me. I truly appreciate it!

Have a wonderful Election Day!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James H.

Succor

2008-11-03T14:31:00.004-07:00

It’s Monday.

Over the weekend, the Fire Rescue crews were called to a neighbor’s home. An elderly gentleman went pale, fell down, and couldn’t get up. The lady of the house had to call 9-1-1 because she couldn’t lift him from the floor.

Within two minutes, we heard the sirens approaching.

Another minute, they were there, rushing into the residence and up the stairs to rescue the poor fellow.

That got me thinking.

How many times do we pass by someone in need, rather than try and help them? Or, how many times do we know someone needs our help, but we're slow in responding?

I realize most of us aren’t paid to zip around in rescue apparatus with sirens blaring, but that’s really beside the point.

When we can help, we should help. And, quickly.

Answering the infamous Cain’s question – we are our brother’s (and sister’s) keepers.

This event also reminded me of our Savior, Jesus Christ. One of the many reasons He was sent here was to suffer our frustrations, our pains. He felt our loneliness, our anger, our hurt.

As the scriptures say, He was acquainted with our grief (see Isaiah 53:3)

A later prophet taught his people:

“He will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” (Alma 7:12)

The word “succor” means to rush to and help.

I can easily imagine the Savior rushing to help someone in need. The scriptures are full of accounts where He healed, encouraged, lifted, saved and helped others.

So, here’s your challenge today:

Be a little more aware of those around you. Be especially aware of someone who needs an encouraging word or some other help that you can give them.

Then, run to them and help them.

That’s all there is to it.

I really appreciate your willingness to help and serve your fellow man, woman and child. I know it’s not easy to find the desire, time or wherewithal to help another.

But you do it anyway.

And I appreciate you for it.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Warm Hands, Warm Hearts

2008-11-01T09:48:00.005-06:00

Welcome to the weekend!

On one of my previous posts – Just One Pair I got a really good comment from my friend, Kim Woodbridge.

The post about Just One Pair was to challenge you to buy a pair of shoes for someone you knew needed them. Thank you for taking that challenge.

The comment Kim posted helped me realize that it’s not just shoes people need to keep warm, but gloves and hats, too.

Here’s part of her comment:

"Yesterday it was pouring and the first bitter cold day in Philadelphia. There was a homeless man outside of work who looked so cold and so wet. When thinking about what I could possibly do, I thought about this article that I had read a couple of days before. I've decided to buy extra hats and mittens, keep them in my backpack, and distribute them as needed. There isn't much I can really do for these people, but no one deserves to suffer like that."

She’s right. And with Thanksgiving fast approaching, we have much to be thankful for. Yet, there are many who are left out in the cold.

No one deserves to suffer in the cold.

No one.

We can all sit in our warm homes or bundle up in our warm coats, gloves and hats and forget about those stuck in the cold. We can rationalize that it’s not our problem, that they likely brought their circumstances upon themselves because of their addictions, lifestyle or even their own foolishness.

Let me take a moment and tell you about one of my heroes – King Benjamin – and share something he told his people at a great meeting long ago.

This king was loved by his people. He didn’t tax them excessively. He didn’t require them to support him. He worked right alongside his people and showed them by his kindness and charity that he loved them.

At the great conference, the last one of his life, he was about to confer his kingdom upon his son, Mosiah. Before that could be done, however, he felt to share some great truths with his people.

In part, he directed:

“…Ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.

“Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—

“But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

“For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

“And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy.

“And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.

“And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which doth not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life belongeth; and yet ye put up no petition, nor repent of the thing which thou hast done.

“I say unto you, wo be unto that man, for his substance shall perish with him; and now, I say these things unto those who are rich as pertaining to the things of this world.” (Mosiah 4:16-23)

Now, I realize that some of us (maybe even most of us) are really suffering from economic times. We may be scraping by, eking out just enough of a living to pay rent and put food on our table. Are those who don’t have enough to give required, then, to give what we don’t have?

King Benjamin addressed that, as well.

“And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give.

“And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise ye are condemned; and your condemnation is just for ye covet that which ye have not received. (ibid vv 24-25)

Now, if you’ve read this far, you probably already have a good idea of what today’s challenge is.

I’d like to challenge you to do as Kim has done.

If you’re out shopping this weekend, how about picking up one or two pair of gloves? How about one or two warm hats? If you don’t have the extra money right now, can you set aside a dollar or two once a paycheck so that you can buy them?

Then, when you have them, can you keep them with you so that when you encounter someone suffering from the cold, you can hand them out?

It doesn’t have to be a big deal. You can just give them away and say, “I hope you can keep warm. Have a nice day.”

Can you help Kim keep someone warm?
If you can, God bless you.

If not, I know you would if you could. That is enough.

One or two pairs of gloves.

One or two warm hats.

That’s all this challenge requires.

Small and simple.

I appreciate you passing the word so that we can help as many people as we can.

Social media is incredible. Through passing it on, we can really make a difference in our world. Through your efforts to digg, stumble, retweet, link and forward, we're making a difference. You are making a difference!

And, as we continue, we can make just a little bit of Heaven in our corner of the earth.

To read the earlier post, Just One Pair, please click the following link:

http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2008/10/just-one-pair.html

Stay warm!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Doing the Math

2008-10-30T19:14:00.006-06:00

If you're a new reader to this blog, you know it's all about service. I am a firm believer that if each one of us did something to serve even just one or two other people, once a week, the world would be truly transformed.

Let's do some math:

There are 19 readers who subscribe to this blog.

If each one of you - and you alone - served two people a week for one year, there would be 1,976 beneficiaries of your service.

If each one of you subscribers passed this blog along to a friend who would do the same, there would be 3,952 recipients of service.

Now, I don't have a firm grasp on the actual numbers of readers, here, but I'm asking one favor of you.

Pass it on.

Let's make some Heavenly math.

Reach out to someone today, tomorrow, Saturday - all next week. Let's try to pass it on to at least one person every week between now and the end of the year.

That means each of us can try to get just 10 people - new people - to read this blog.

I have no idea how far and wide this can go - but I'm excited to try.

Start small and simple.

Email a link to my blog (use the http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/ link) and ask them to visit.

Or, email a link to this week's Service Thursday challenge:

http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2008/10/care-coupons.html

Or, find your favorite post and send a link to that.

I hope and pray we can make service a success - and with you helping, how can we fail?

Are you in?

Thanks for taking the weekend challenge!

Have a safe and happy Halloween!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Care Coupons

2008-10-30T11:27:00.005-06:00

This week, Service Thursday (and Friday) is Coupon Day!

Not the kind of coupon you take to your favorite store or coffee shop. This coupon is designed to help others.

Here’s your challenge (it’s a two-part challenge):

Part One:

Today, I’d like you to make and print a very simple coupon. All it needs to say is:

“Sometimes it’s just nice to know that someone cares about you. I care. Have a nice day!”

Or something to that effect. Remember to keep it small and simple.

Then, if you like, you can leave a line for your signature. Or, you can type your name and even your email address if you like. Please try to remember that this is not about self-promotion. Don’t put your sales motto, slogan or logo. It’s all about someone else today – not you.

If you prefer not to sign it or let them know your name, you can sign it with something like, “An Anonymous Friend”.

If you do it just right, you should be able to put more than one on a printed page. Then, just print it out, cut them out, and you’re ready to go.

Part Two of the challenge is a little more difficult, but it's the fun part:

Once you have your coupons cut and ready, find at least three people to hand them to today and tomorrow.

You can hand one to someone you know who may be having a difficult day. Or, you can hand them to strangers who look like they can use a boost.

If you can't make the coupons, or need an idea, please feel free to email me and I will email a Word doc with the coupon I use.

One more thing:

Service should not always be a chore – try to make today’s small and simple service challenge fun!

Thank you for being willing to take today’s challenge. I so appreciate you! Thank you also for passing it on to others. Even if every one who reads this challenge just told two new people about it, think of the impact we could have in our world!

I'd love to hear about your experiences. Please come back and share what happened when you took this challenge.

Let’s do it!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Being Remembered

2008-10-29T09:55:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Wednesday.

Let’s talk about death. Let’s talk about our own mortalilty.

Not a pleasant topic for some, but I hope to talk about it in a way that will make it a more positive experience.

Many of us have regrets that we didn’t tell a loved one how we felt about them before they passed.

I talked about that in a recent blog post: http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2008/10/tell-them.html

So, now that we’ve talked about telling our loved ones how we feel about them – telling them we love and appreciate them before they leave us, let’s talk about our own life and death.

Think of someone you love who has passed on. Could be a family member, friend or co-worker.

What do you remember about them?

Were they friendly?

Did they make you feel welcomed into their homes and lives?

Did they make you smile?

Did they leave you wondering how they felt about you?

Did they have a mean streak that made it difficult for you to mourn their passing?

All valid questions.

My brother Mark passed a few years ago. In fact, we’re approaching the anniversary of his transition – from shuffling of his mortal coil to stepping through the veil to his new home in the Spirit World.

For years prior to that memorable day, we siblings hadn’t exactly been close.

I can’t say that we had been fighting or anything like that, but we certainly could have been closer.

Each of us (my mother bore eight children) had gone off into our own corner of adulthood. Most of us worked, few of us communicated with each other.

Oh, sure, there was the occasional family Christmas party where we were all in one place at one time, and there were various groups getting together for Thanksgiving dinner, but that was about it.

We rarely made it a point to gather and just be with one another.

When Mark slipped into a coma in the intensive care unit, we, his siblings finally got it together. One of our own was down and we dropped everything that didn’t matter and held vigil with him.

Of course, there were lots of tears and prayers, and lots of laughter, too. In fact, I remember promising Mark that I would do all I could to make his passing a celebration and not a time of desperation and depression.

So far, I’ve been true to that promise.

When the time came for him to pass, the kind medical staff in ICU brought him out of his coma so we could explain to him what was happening. His best friend Shirley had the very difficult task of telling her dear chum that he truly was at the end of his mortal journey.

Then, in groups and in pairs and later one-by-one, we all said our goodbyes.

We left the hospital, and we left my brother in care of another of his friends.

They removed his respirator and feeding tube.

On the morning of December 31st, 2005, I awoke with a strange, peaceful feeling. I remember waking up almost shouting: “Hello!”

And with that, I knew he was gone.

Even now, I find it strange that I told him hello instead of goodbye.

At his funeral, during a sort of open mike time where we invited those not on the program to say a few words, one of Mark’s friends shared something incredible with us.

It’s something I’ll never forget. It was a wake up call to all of us as Mark’s siblings.

She told us that Mark had often talked about a rift between his brothers and sisters. He talked a lot about wanting to be able to bring us together. That was his wish, his hope and his dream.

He fretted often about us and wondered how he could finally rejoin us in some meaningful and lasting way.

In his illness and death, he did just that.

So, what do I remember about my brother in his passing?

He healed wounds.

He calmed troubled hearts.

He reunited us.

He brought his brothers and sisters back to a point where we now understand, more than ever before, what really matters in life.

We matter.

To each other.

We know now what it’s like to lose one of our own. We certainly sailed through uncharted territory and survived intact, though one of our own is now mortally absent (though we often feel his spirit with us, especially in trying times).

We know now that a quick call to say “hello!” is important, even if it means forgoing lunch or being late to a meeting.

We know how very important it is to say “I love you” at the end of every phone call. When we see each other in person, we rush to embrace each other, and we don’t leave without another hug.

We know.

Recently, I asked some friends (tweets from Twitter) what they want to be remembered for when their time comes to leave this frail mortal life.

I’m posting their responses at the end of today’s challenge – so let’s get to the challenge first:

Think about your own funeral. Think about your friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers filing by your family.

What will they say? How will they feel?

What will they tell your surviving family members they remember most about you?

Will they say you were friendly?

Will they say you made them feel welcomed into your home and life?

Did you make them smile?

Did you make them feel valued as a person, as an individual and as a fellow human being?

Will they say you loved life?

Will they say you took time for them, despite their challenging schedules and meetings and such? Will they say that when you were there, you were really there for them?

If your answer is yes, then I’d say you’ve passed today’s challenge.

But if your answer is no to any of the above questions, what can you do today – right now – to change their perception of you?

Can you be a little kinder today?

Can you be a little gentler?

Can you call someone just to see how they’re doing?

Can you write an email or a note to tell them how much they mean to you?

When you’re exasperated with someone you love, can you still smile and hug them and tell them they mean the world to you and you don’t know what you’d do without them?

Can you?

I think you can.

Live today as if you knew with absolute certainty that you would be stepping through the veil tomorrow.

Live today so that your actions and your words uplift and inspire others, especially those closest to you.

Live today so that those closest to you will never, ever wonder if you really loved them or if they were just words tumbling out of your mouth out of duty or obligation.

Live today.

Love today.

Don’t be afraid to tell them.

Thank you so much for reading today, and for taking today’s challenge.

I very much appreciate you.

I know you’ve stumbled my blog. I know you’ve retweeted my posts. I know that you’ve helped spread the word with dig and other tools.

I appreciate that so much. One by one, you and I can really help transform the world into a more loving place, into a Heaven on Earth.

As promised, here are the comments I got from my Twitter friends about what they most want to be remembered for when they pass on.

The question I asked was:

When you die, what do you want people to remember about you?

pattih05k i want to be remembered as a mother who loved to sing and act and loved sunrises & sunsets.

jantallent seriously, that I was half the mom my Mom is and 1/10th as perfect a Grandma as MINE was

triplej2676 i want to be remembered as kind, honest and funny. i'd like to be remembered as someone who made people laugh.

TamiDePalma When she was with you she was really WITH you. She lived unconditional love.

teejerx: as someone gentle and kind, a good brother and friend, and someone who was there to listen and help.

Deb_Andersen I want to be remembered as Caring and Giving of myself :) I try to think of others when considering my actions!

northpolemama that I was always true to my heart and i never let life pass me by

isequeira I want ppl to remember that I was fun to hang around and genuniely cared for them (& my kids to remember I spent a lot on life insurance)

PRsarahevans that I ran unabashadly free through this one life, without fear; believed in abundance; expected the unexpected; lived

How would you answer? Feel free to comment!

And what I want people to say about me when I go?

“He had kind eyes and a gentle manner. He served others.”

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Opening Doors

2008-10-28T11:29:00.007-06:00

Welcome to Tuesday!

Today's challenge is surprisingly small and simple:

Open a door for someone - anyone, and find a reason to give them a sincere compliment.

Remember to make the compliment sincere. Nobody likes to be patronized.

Maybe they dressed nice today. Maybe they have a new hairdo. Maybe their smile makes your heart feel warm.

Don't expect to be thanked. If someone thanks you, smile and say, "You're welcome", but remember you're not doing it to get a thank you.

You're doing it because you want to do something nice. That's all.

See?

It's easy!

You can do it!

Thank you for taking the challenge today. I appreciate you!

Please try to stumble, Digg, fixx, retweet and otherwise pass it on.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Tell Them

2008-10-27T12:20:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Monday

Most of us don’t know when we’re going to be called Home by that God who gave us life. For either you or me, it could be today or twenty years from now.

We just don’t know.

Have you ever lost someone and regretted not being able to really tell them how you feel about them?

I’ve been there.
I suspect you have, too. It’s not a pleasant feeling.

So, here’s today’s challenge:

Pick one person in your life (family, coworker, neighbor – whoever) and tell them how you feel about them.

Tell them why they make you feel good.

Tell them why they make you smile.

Tell them why you’d miss them if either of you were to be separated.

Tell them you appreciate/like/love them.

If you happen to get called Home soon, don’t make them wonder how you really feel about them.
Tell them.

Today.

I appreciate you.

Thank you so much for reading and taking today’s challenge.

Please pass it on.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Just One Pair

2008-10-24T10:02:00.005-06:00

It’s cold here. For some of us the winter is a beautiful time of year. The snow in the mountains is breathtakingly lovely. For others, however, it's nothing but a painful nuisance.

Your challenge today is both simple and easy.

It’s going to get cold outside. For many of us who live in the northern climes, it’s no big deal to walk outside and keep our feet warm and dry.

For others, however, such a task is not so easy. They can’t afford a decent pair of shoes or boots. What they wear out in the snow might be okay for us once in awhile, but some folks have no choice.

Their shoes have worn out.

They have holes in them.

They leak and let in the ice and snow that winter brings.

Just going out to get the mail – normally a five minute event – can leave them with cold, achy feet for the rest of the day.

How would that feel to you? I bet you wouldn’t like it, even for just a day.

For some people, it’s a daily reminder of their poverty.

The economy has forced so many people to shift their priorities. Some people I know have had to decide between getting gas to go to work to make money for food and rent, or other necessities like medicine and other needful things. Their priorities don’t leave a lot of room for what we might call frivolous – new shoes.

What for you and me is a luxury is a basic necessity to others.

A necessity they’ll try doing without for one more winter.

This should not be.

This is an election year. I’d like to remind you of a campaign slogan from someone who wanted to be president long before you or I were born.

In his 1928 campaign, Herbert Hoover promised a chicken in every pot.

A great slogan – but I think we can update that.

How about in the waning months of 2008 and the dawning months of 2009 we say:

“A new pair of shoes on every person”

Can we do it?

I think we can.

Working together, I know we can.

While we shop for our own shoe collection, how about we do something small and simple? How about we buy just one pair of extra shoes? They don’t have to be expensive – but they should be practical and sturdy.

While you’re shopping, think of someone you know who needs a decent pair of shoes.

Buy just one pair of shoes for them. Keep the receipt in case you get a size that doesn’t fit them. Then, offer to make the exchange for them so they don’t have to. You can even buy a gift card to a shoe store if you don’t want to buy the shoes right then.

If you can’t think of anyone who needs shoes, I know you can find out who can put them to good use.

Here’s a tip: if you don’t know who needs shoes, call 2-1-1. In most areas, the kind people at the other end of this information line can direct you to a church, synagogue, temple or charity who will gladly accept your donation.

So, how about it?

A pair of shoes on every person.

Are you in?

Thank you so much for being willing to tackle this daily challenge. Thank you also for being willing to post this elsewhere (please link back). Thanks for digging, stumbling, retweeting and otherwise passing it on.

I appreciate you.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Give on Service Thursday

2008-10-23T08:58:00.004-06:00

It’s Service Thursday again.

Yesterday, your challenge was to think about and identify someone in your neighborhood who is enduring some sort of hardship.

(If you missed yesterday’s post, please follow this link): http://serviceafol.blogspot.com/2008/10/your-neighborhood.html

Today, I’d like to follow up on that.

What did you find?

Did you find someone in need?

If you did, have you considered how you can help them?

Do they need you to go to the store for them?

Do they need food?

Do they need resources above what you can help with? (If this is true, try calling 2-1-1 and you should be able to find resources to help them).

For today’s challenge, can you gather a box of food for them? We all need food, even if we’re struggling with other hardships.

Or, you can make it a care package with a mix of food and non-food items.

It doesn’t have to be a big box. It can be a regular sized grocery box, or even a shoebox if that’s all you can manage to collect for them.

The idea here is not to give so much food that it puts you in a hardship, too. The idea is to share what you have – even if it’s just a gallon of milk and a box of crackers.

You also don’t have to do this alone. Call a friend or relative to help you.

And, when you deliver it, you can do so anonymously, if you like.

Or, you can greet them at the door and offer to help put the food away for them.

You can even offer to cook! (But again, remember to allow them their dignity. Feel the situation out so you’re not making them feel like a service project. You want them to feel better for knowing who you are, not worse).

Here are some foodstuffs that work well for situations like these:

Peanut butter
Canned tunafish
Crackers
Milk
Canned milk
Fresh fruit
Canned fruit and vegetables
Tortillas
Bread
Margarine
Lunchmeat
Baby food
Cookies
Fruit juice

Non food needs (These things you can take over in a laundry basket):

Diapers
Toothpaste
Soap
Paper towels
Towels
Laundry detergent
Dish detergent
Paper plates
Plastic utensils
A 3x5 card with your name and phone number
If they have children, you can throw in a coloring book and crayons

Use your imagination for other ideas. Have fun with it!

But do it.
Today.
Someone may be hungry and waiting for you.

Thank you for reading and taking today’s challenge.

As always, please pass it on. Stumble this. Digg this. Retweet and repost this and link back to it.

I appreciate you!

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Your Neighborhood

2008-10-22T10:08:00.004-06:00

Welcome to Wednesday!

With apologies to Sesame Street, I’d like you to think about the people in your neighborhood.

I’d like you to focus on those who may be experiencing some sort of hardship.

It could be a single mom or dad who are feeling overwhelmed by trying to be both parents at once.

Or, it could be an elderly couple who can’t get out to pick up their prescriptions or go to the grocery store. Maybe they can’t drive anymore.

It might be someone who is a victim of the current economy, who has maybe been laid off and is really struggling with putting food on the table.

At any rate, I’m confident we all know someone who is facing a difficult time. They often don’t know where to turn or are sometimes too proud to ask for help.

Have you identified someone?

Okay, now for your challenge:

Make the first move.

Gather your family or a few friends and go make a friendly visit.

You don’t have to be blunt and tell them you’re there to turn them into a service project – that may only make matters worse. We rarely are willing to be someone else’s service project.

But, you can go to them. Ask how they’re doing. Be genuine and show them you’re willing to be a friend.

Before you leave, ask them if there’s anything they need and offer your time and talents to help them. And if they mention something, offer to help and then follow through. If you need help beyond what you can provide, you can often call 2-1-1 and find resources.

Remember to allow them their dignity.

But do it.

Do it today.

I believe in you.

Thank you so much for being willing to read today’s challenge. Thank you also for being willing to serve someone else today. I appreciate you!

Please pass it on.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Military Families

2008-10-21T09:29:00.006-06:00

Welcome to Tuesday.

Today, I want to do something to honor our military and their families.

No matter the political persuasion you happen to subscribe to, our men and women in uniform put their lives and safety on the line every day.

They don’t make the policy.

They go where they’re sent and do what they’re ordered to do.

And, often, the families are caught short.

When a member of our military is deployed, their spouses and children get left behind to deal with the financial and other life pressures that are tough enough when the military member is home full-time.

Can you imagine the pride swallowing that takes place when the family of a deployed Sailor, Airman, Soldier, Marine or Coast Guardsman has to decide whether or not to ask for help?

Is there something you and I can do today to make life a little easier for these families?

Here’s today’s challenge:

Think of someone in your family or social circle who is in the military. What are their needs? Remember, some of their needs may be more than financial. They may be emotional. Theymay be spiritual. Remember that they deal with loneliness, uncertainty and the very real fear that their loved one may not make it home.

The Holidays are fast approaching. Is there something you can plan out now to include the family of a deployed man or woman in uniform?

Can you plan to include them for your Thanksgiving dinner?

Can you plan to include them in your Christmas, Hanukah or other celebration?

Can you help them make ends meet by donating food, clothing or other items to them – even if anonymously done?

Can you invite them to ride with you to worship services?

Can you even send a thank you note, or thank them in person for sending their loved one into harm’s way?

I think you can.

Remember, you don’t have to agree with the reason these brave people are deployed. They follow orders. That’s their job. Still, you can do something today – and throughout the Holidays to ease the burden of those left behind.

Let’s do it.

Let’s take care of those who have sent their husbands, wives, children and parents off to far away places.

Lets take care of those who are sworn to take care of us.

Let’s do it.

Thank you for taking today’s challenge.

By doing some small and simple act of service, we really can make an impact in our world.

Please pass it on.

And, while you're at it, here's a great way to help out - an easy link to click! http://emailourmilitary.blogspot.com/2008/10/grab-your-troops-support-holiday.html

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Help the Children

2008-10-20T09:57:00.005-06:00

It’s Monday, October 20, 2008

Let's talk about helping children today.

Children are the future leaders of our world and contributors to our society.

In the news, lately, we’ve read of so many horrific things happening to children. I don’t need to harrow up your memory by being specific. You know the news stories I’m talking about.

So, today’s challenge is simple.

Watch out for children. Help them.

The old saying that it takes a village to raise a child is, in my humble opinion, absolutely true.

Are we doing our part as villagers to keep our children safe, fed, clothed and educated?

What can you do today to make a positive and healthy impact in the world of a child?

Can you teach a child something new and valuable?

Can you help a child stay safe?

Can you feed a hungry child?

Can you clothe a child who may not have clean or new clothes?

Can you donate $5.00 to a children’s charity or to a local school?

Can you help a single mom or dad with their children today?

I think you can.

I know you can.

And I so appreciate being a part of your village. You’re the best!

As always, please pass it on.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Peacemaker

2008-10-19T00:55:00.002-06:00

Small & Simple Sunday Challenge.

We've all done something to hurt, offend or otherwise alienate someone. We may have done it today, last week or twenty years ago.

It may have been a misunderstanding. It may have been an innocent mistake. But the effects are the same, regardless.

Here's your challenge.

Write a letter or an email and apologize. You can call them if you prefer. But do it.

Today.

Thanks for reading and for being willing to be a peacemaker.

Pass it on.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Peacemaker

2008-10-19T00:55:00.000-06:00

Winter Warmth

2008-10-17T10:12:00.005-06:00

It’s Friday, October 17, 2008

Another guessing game.

When you look at the picture above, what feelings, memories and emotions come to mind?

If you’re like me and mine, you perhaps remember times with family and friends playing games, watching a favorite movie, and just enjoying one another’s company.

For too many others, however, such good feelings are rare.

They may have the same types of memories, but those memories are dim. They are now in a position where they wonder if they will ever again feel the warmth of either humanity or a crackling fire in a real home.

While you and I sit snugly at home, wrapped up in a comforter, watching our favorite DVD, there are people outside our homes trying desperately to stay warm.

They stuff old newspaper in their clothing. They sleep under old coats and moth-bitten blankets. They are relegated to homeless shelters, children’s’ shelters or battered women’s shelters.

Sometimes, they can find no shelter.

While we are warm and comfortable, having some semblance of normalcy and sanity in our day to day living, they struggle to find any type of normalcy and security.

Many of the rest of society (sometimes you and me included), treat them as second-class citizens. We look down on them, wondering why they don’t do something to change their circumstances. By our actions, and sometimes our words, spoken and unspoken, we let them know we are better than they are.

Is this how we should treat our fellow brothers and sisters?

An old wise king named Benjamin once chided his people for such attitudes and actions.

From his tower at the temple, he taught:

“And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.

“Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—

“But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

“For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

“And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy.

“And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.

“And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which doth not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life belongeth; and yet ye put up no petition, nor repent of the thing which thou hast done.

“I say unto you, wo be unto that man, for his substance shall perish with him; and now, I say these things unto those who are rich as pertaining to the things of this world.

“And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give.

“And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise ye are condemned; and your condemnation is just for ye covet that which ye have not received.” (Mosiah 4:16-25)

Now, if you’ve read this far (and I hope you have), here is your challenge:

This weekend, starting today, see if you can find one or two of something warm to deliver to a shelter. It can be a battered woman’s shelter, a children’s shelter or a homeless shelter.

In most US cities, you can dial 211 to find donation centers and shelter locations.

What to give?

Do you have an old blanket you no longer use?

How about buying a few pairs of socks?

Has anyone in your household stopped wearing a flannel shirt? A pair of warm boots? Trousers?

Are you buying new coats for the fall and winter season? How about donating your old coats?

If you want to take it a step further, why don't you call a friend or two and ask for their help. Get some cardboard boxes and make it a group project.

I’m so grateful that I have a warm home to go to at the end of the workday. I know you are, too.

Let’s really try to make a difference with this challenge.

We can make a real difference!

It’s cold outside, and it’s going to get colder. The economic times are hitting everyone hard. Heating bills are going up. Income is going down.

Let’s do this, and be grateful for what we have.

Thank you so much for reading today’s challenge. I really appreciate you and your efforts to pass the word along.

May you stay warm in your home and in your heart for being willing to try.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James

Perceptions

2008-10-16T10:27:00.002-06:00

It’s Thursday, October 16, 2008

Welcome to Service Thursday!

Let’s talk about perception.

Look at the picture above. What do you see? What would your reaction be if you stumbled across such a creature?

Depending on who you are, your answer will differ.

If you were an insect or a mouse, you’d say it’s a predator – something deadly.

If you were a farmer, you’d say it’s something that catches bugs and mice – something helpful.

If you are a herpetologist, you’d say it’s a specimen to be studied – something interesting.

And if you are ophidiophobic, you wouldn’t hang around long enough to answer the question. (Ophidiophobia is fear of snakes, just so you know).

Now, let’s think about how we perceive others. We can all have the same encounter with the same person or people, and come away seeing something completely different.

And others in that same encounter may well perceive our words and actions much differently than we indended.

Some of us will see the encounter as helpful; others will see it as dangerous. Still others will perceive it as simply interesting.

For example, at my house, if there’s a spider on the wall, who do you think squeals and cries and calls the brave spouse to come dispose of it?

If your answer was my wife, you’re wrong. When it comes to spiders, I’m the squealer, and my wife is the courageous one who comes to the rescue (often giggling at my scardy-cat behavior).

In fact, more often than not, she’ll even release the beast back into the wild, where I’m just sure he’s already scheming and charting his way back to the house.

But, I digress.

Perception can be absolute reality of the perceiver. What we think we see, feel, hear and touch is reality to us.

If you have siblings or a childhood friend you still keep in touch with, try this experiment with them:

Together, think of a situation from your childhood. It could be Christmas morning, a family camping trip or a trip to the movies.

Talk about how each of you felt about something your parents or other adults said in that situation. If you’re like me and my seven siblings and friends, you’re almost sure to see things differently.

Sometimes, the differences in perception are small and slight. Others are like night and day – you perceive the same situations completely differently than the other perceived it. It doesn’t mean either of you are wrong, you just came away from the same situation feeling and seeing things differently.

I have an uncle who thinks his dad (my grandfather) was mean-spirited and ornery in some situations. My father, however, remembers some of the very same situations and thinks grandpa was kind and loving.

Same situation, same grandfather – different perceptions.

Perception to each is their reality.

So, here’s your Service Thursday challenge:

As you interact with others today – whether with your boss, your direct reports, your spouse, children or others, try to avoid letting a negative perception color anyone’s feelings about those interactions. Try really hard not to see (or be seen as) predator where others would see benefactor.

Try to perceive things with a positive spin. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Try also to leave an impression with them that you are a benefactor, too.

Try to make it so that neither of you perceive the other as a snake.

Try not to strike out or run, even if you’re feeling scared or repelled.

Try also not to make them want to strike out or run.

I realize this can be hard, whether in the workplace, with family or with strangers. Its especially difficult in a heated disagreement to stop thinking that everyone has an agenda that is painful and poisonous to others.

You may have a disagreement with another person, but it’s really your choice whether or not you are disagreeable in that situation.

Try to perceive the other people in your life as allies, as fellow brothers and sisters – as Children of God.

And then (the fun part of the challenge!) try your very best to treat them like you’d want to be treated in the same situation.

Treat them like Children of God.

Try not to see others as dangerous snakes with a poisonous agenda.

Try not to act in ways that give others a reason to perceive you as a snake with your own brand of venom.

That’s all there is to it!

You can do it.

I know you can do it.

Thank you for reading today.

Thank you for being willing to take my challenge.

And, as always, thank you for passing it on to others!

James

What Are You Thinking?

2008-10-15T09:17:00.004-06:00

What are you thinking?

It’s Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I believe that our thoughts, as well as our deeds, actions and inactions, will either elevate us or be our downfall.

So, what are you thinking?

When you encounter a surly coworker, or a spouse who criticizes you, or a child who talks back, what are you thinking?

Are you thinking of a retort that will make you seem smarter or right?

Are you considering how you’ll win the argument?

Are you wishing bad things upon them?

Can you stop for a moment and change your way of thinking? It’s not easy, but it is possible.

Can you turn it around and try putting yourself in their shoes?

Can you try to see where they’re coming from? Why they said or did what they said or did?

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that we’re all mortal – we all make mistakes. At times, we fall into the trap of wanting to be judged on our intentions while judging others on their actions and ignoring their intentions.

Can you forgive?

Can you think better of them?

Can you think kind, compassionate thoughts about them?

I think you can.

So, that’s today’s challenge.

Think kindly of others, regardless of the circumstances.

Not easy, but possible.

Thank you for taking today’s challenge.

I really think that by doing these small and simple acts of service, we can transform the world.

One act at a time.

One thought at a time.

Remember, Service is the Action Form of Love!

James